Are you a man?

   / Are you a man? #1  

looch

Veteran Member
Joined
May 30, 2001
Messages
1,031
Location
QC, Canada
Tractor
B2601
Some of these are just too close to the truth.

RULES THAT GUYS WISH GIRLS KNEW.......

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. <font color=red>(lest we forget tractors)</font color=red>

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

1. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1 . Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

1. Check your oil. Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done--not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends - like THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. What the heck is a doily?

[Please note...these are all numbered #1 ON PURPOSE!]
 
   / Are you a man? #2  
Well Paul..I just ran the list by my better half and all I got was "Is that right" /w3tcompact/icons/eyes.gif so what does that mean /w3tcompact/icons/hmm.gif
I think I go outside and check the snow banks now. /w3tcompact/icons/crazy.gif
 
   / Are you a man? #3  
<font color=blue>I just ran the list by my better half</font color=blue>

Thomas, Thomas, Thomas, I thought we taught you better than that. /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

If I was you, I'd find something to do outside for the rest of the day. Might as well leave the doors open too, 'cuz the temperature outside and inside is equalizing as I type. /w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif
 
   / Are you a man? #4  
I guess she got over it,for she just brought me a cup of coffee /w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif maybe I better beware. /w3tcompact/icons/eyes.gif
 
   / Are you a man?
  • Thread Starter
#5  
Maybe you better let someone taste that coffee for you /w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif
 
   / Are you a man? #6  
Got more than a few chuckles out of it myself, so I printed it out and, like Thomas, ran it by my wife (death wish?). Although she laughed out loud several times, in the end she put on her sternest face and said, "not amusing!" /w3tcompact/icons/tongue.gif

When she then walked off with the piece of paper, I asked if she was going to throw it away. "Heck no", she said. "I wanna share this with the gals at the office".

I nodded as if I understood. Of course, I don't. /w3tcompact/icons/eyes.gif
 
   / Are you a man?
  • Thread Starter
#7  
<font color=blue>I nodded as if I understood</font color=blue>

Classic, Harv. Who here doesn't do that on a fairly regular basis?
 
   / Are you a man? #8  
I tried that in the begining and my second half caught on,and sometimes she ask me to repeat what she said.. /w3tcompact/icons/eyes.gif
When I mumble that drive her to another plant. /w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif
 
   / Are you a man? #9  
Thomas wrote:
<font color=blue>I guess she got over it,for she just brought me a cup of coffee </font color=blue>

Thomas, this is a step in the right direction. After my first ten years of marriage I finally 'trained' my wife to bring me coffee in bed/w3tcompact/icons/king.gif . Now if I could just keep her from pouring it on me/w3tcompact/icons/shocked.gif.
 
   / Are you a man? #10  
I'm getting alot of good pointers..but..I still have fear and good judgement Abiut rubing her feathers the wrong way,for she gives me one of these looks. /w3tcompact/icons/eyes.gif
 

Tractor & Equipment Auctions

2021 John Deere 333G Compact Track Loader, 390 Hours, High Flow Hydraulics, Ride Control (A48561)
2021 John Deere...
2015 Fiat 500L Hatchback (A46684)
2015 Fiat 500L...
2009 Audi A4 Sedan (A46684)
2009 Audi A4 Sedan...
2005 Cummins DGBB 43.7 kVA 3-Phase Diesel Generator (A46683)
2005 Cummins DGBB...
2005 Big Tex 10PI T/A Pipe Top Utility Trailer (A45336)
2005 Big Tex 10PI...
NEW Wolverine Skid Steer Land Leveler (A48289)
NEW Wolverine Skid...
 
Top