Boring meetings

[Jeff396]

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long
and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,
prepare your "Bull%#$@ Bingo" card by drawing a square -- I find that 5" x
5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns -- five across and five
down. That will give you 25, 1" blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
ramp up
strategic fit
core competencies
best practice
bottom line
revisit
off-line
24/7
out of the loop
benchmark
value-added
proactive
win-win
think outside the box
fast track
result-driven
empower (or empowerment)
knowledge base
at the end of the day
touch base
mindset
client focus(ed)
ballpark
game plan
leverage

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand
up and shout "BULL%#$@!"


Testimonials from satisfied "Bull@#$% Bingo" players:

* "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." --Jack W.,
Boston

* "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." --David D.,
Florida

* "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."
--Bill R., New York City

* "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited
for the fifth box." --Ben G., Denver


Jeff

 

[CVHoss]

O.K., so it's too windy outside to light my brushpiles. See attachment.

Hoss

 

[njrqs]

Nah

I just plan all my new projects at home or think about what new toys to add to my truck, or run over the Cessna checlists I have to learn etc. etc.

Very productive for me I find !!

Cheers

 

[hayden]

Big companies - they're good for something.

We once wrote a program that took phrases like those and randomly assembled them to create Mission Statements. They were indistinguisable from the real thing.

 

[sugarmaker]

Jeff,

We call this game "Buzzword Bingo" and have had great fun at all-hands and quarterly update meetings with it. I have a little C program which creates as many different custom BBingo cards as you want from a user-defined list of buzzwords.

Send me a TBN private message with your e-mail address if you'd like a copy.

Dave

 

[Jeff396]

Thanks, but I thankfully have escaped the working ranks to stay home and raise my kids close to 8 years ago. They are 3 and 7 and I swear some of the stuff that comes out of their mouths at times seems more intelligent that what was said in our weekly update meetings. It's funny how you always have this vision that everyone elses company has it together more than your own. Definitely not the case I guess!/w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif

When I left the last company I worked for (an insurance company) they had me give them an exit interview. I guess I was a little naive in that I thought they actually wanted your opinion. I guess I caused quite a stir though nothing changed....they just got ticked. I hear I got blackballed in the programming dept....as if I'd ever go back to that hole. When the next lady in my group quit, she just told them "what's the difference, you won't do anything about it". Ah employers....can't live with them, can't burn the building to the ground./w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif

I told my manager at one point that things were so bad everyone was ready to quit. Rather than finding out why things were so bad she decided to confront each of them. Of course, they denied it as they needed their jobs, I did not. Everyone in that group was gone within 6 months. Seems like there are ever so many more bad managers than good ones these days....why is that?

Jeff

 

[TerryinMD]

There seems to be a managerial malaise that has become quite epidemic. The acronym is SYAS (Save Your A$$ Syndrome). The symptoms are:

1) Do not protect your staff by not accepting the failings of your organization. (Redirection of blame to staff)

2) Only report the good things.

3) Ensure that all the you take all of the credit for organization successes to protect your bonus and stock options.

4) Hire only your trusted incompetent friends and promote them to protect your projects.

5) Ensure that you have an "open door" policy and never actually spend any time in your office.

6) Have all-hands/staff meetings to promote goodwill among the staff. Ensure that you tap dance around sticky questions and use as much double speak to confuse and misguide.

7. Provide direction by saying "I know what I want when I see it."

8. Hire a manager with an undergraduate degree in forestry and an MBA to manage a database development group.

Ohhh... the list could go on. Please add if you have anything to contribute.

Terry

 

[ewoss3]

when in doubt assign a project manager? Just kidding Terry

 

[rancar]

Jeff,

Wow. /w3tcompact/icons/shocked.gif I thought this kind of attitude was only prevalent in public sector employment where I'm currently hanging out in. But, I see this isn't the case.

I read somewhere that a high percentage of employees are unhappy in their current jobs. Does anyone have the actual number of what that percentage is?

 

[DocHeb]

Since 72% of all statistics are made up, I've heard that 72% of workers are unhappy in their job, and 28% lie about liking theirs.