CPR for the first time!

First one · Oct 9, 2011

I don't know if this is the place to post but I need to vent somewhere.
Last night as my wife and I and 15 year old step son was leaving a Goodwill store we went to get into our jeep and saw a lady getting into the car beside us and saw her boyfriend behind the wheel talk to her and then fell forward into the steering wheel. We asked if she needed help and she said he pasted out. She started calling 911 as my wife and I ran to the drivers side door to open it . WOW! I opened the door and tipped the man's head back and spoke to him , eyes wide open ,mouth open, no response. I felt for a pulse there were none and he had stopped breathing. Scary ****!!! if you never have had to do this before!! I have had training in CPR before but never thought I'd have to use it, always thought that there would be someone else to step up and take over , not this time. I pulled the man out of the car and checked again for breathing and a pulse ,none .
I knew if this man ( latter found out he was in his early 50's) was going to live I needed to do cpr now!! I started to do compressions,(30 then checked for breathing and pulse and repeated) as my wife ran into the store to get help and to see if they had a AED, they had none and no one came out to try and help . It was up to me , to keep it up until the Ambulance showed up. 10 to 15 min later they showed up seemed like forever. I thought when the medic ran up to me he would take over, but he just said your doing good keep it up as they where trying to get **** together . My wife asked them to help me that I'd been doing it for over 10min ,but they didn't want me to stop . They got a bag out which was the wrong one and had to go back to get the right one and the board to put him on . They told me to stop just long enough to get him on the board , but they had trouble getting him on it because we where still in between two parked cars.
At this point I couldn't feel anything but burning in my arms , but still had enough to grab him by the belt and slid him on it ,and grabbed the end of the board to pull it out in the open so they could take over . That was the first time I was able to step back, did I say WOW! They put him in the Ambulance and worked on him before taking off . I jumped in the lady's car and drove her to the Hospital. My wife met us there and we waited to hear if he was going to make it . I'm sad to say he didn't.
You don't know how this messes you up , until it happens to you . I can't seem to get his face out of my head . I think if he had made it, it would be different , but he didn't. They told me at the hospital ,that it must have been a massive heart attack because they never got a response at all . You replay everything over and over to see if you did everything right . If you had done this or that would he still be here . I haven't felt this helpless since my son (18) took his life in 2003 . These things you never get over , you have to live with the "what if's"everyday .
My wife said that maybe I wasn't there to save him ,but was there to take all the feelings of the helpless that I'm living with away from his girlfriend, who was so scared she couldn't have done anything and would have had to deal with the "what if's" , if I hadn't taken over . She thanked me over and over and my wife for being there and thanked my stepson for praying for him ( We made him go back in the car while all of this was going on) she said she knows we did everything we could for him. Its hard for me to think he died and I couldn't save him, just like my son .
Sorry , to have been so long ,but I needed to get this out and you all have been so understanding no matter what people have to deal with , thanks for being here.

tungularafishcamp · Oct 9, 2011

Good try First One! It certainly is a workout and you and your wife are exceptional people to jump in and help like that. As you saw most folks just walk on by anymore.

I am sorry for the loss of your son, there can be nothing harder than that for a parent to deal with!

scoutcub · Oct 9, 2011

Kudos to you sir (and Mrs) for jumping in and giving it your best!
I've been taught CPR several times but scared to ever have to use it....for the same reasons of "am I doing it right?"

No reason to feel helpless - you did all you could. Many people would walk away or be too scared to react as you did.

Very sorry he didn't make it....and for your personal situation as well.

Well done Sir!!

North West Farmer · Oct 9, 2011

First One,

I am a retired fireman, 35 years of first response back ground. The "first ones" are always the most difficult. To realize you probably have the life of another person in your hands, every thing happens so fast, yet time seems to go slowly. It seems like it takes for ever for help to arrive.

As a civilian or as a professional responder, you can only do the best you can depending on your training, the adjunct equipment you have available, the experience of people in the area and their willingness to get involved. All of these things and sometimes many more, if it is a multiple or mass casualty incident, involving health hazard issues and so on.

My advice is to recognize that it is normal to be emotionally shaken by situations like you described, especially when the patient doesn't make it. On the other side of the coin, it is a tremendously uplifting feeling when you have been successful in reviving the person, especially if it is a child or infant.

The first time you loose a child after making prolonged efforts, involving all of your experience and knowhow is most often an experience you never forget.

In situations like you have been through, it varies greatly how people are affected. Some people can work their way through the process quite well, while others may deal with remorse, sadness, depression and so on. Give yourself time to resolve your emotions, realizing you did the best you could and that may have been good enough, totally depending upon the survivability of he patient themselves. Sometimes, they revive quickly and easily, sometimes there is no response no matter what you do in "working the code".

Most likely, you will begin to resolve your emotions and begin to feel much better about what you have experienced in a relatively short period of time. On the other hand, if you continue to struggle with your feelings for an extended period don't hesitate to seek professional assistance to help you through the rough spots.

Nick, North West Farmer

Leroy Brown · Oct 9, 2011

WOW I think you are Awsome for trying You and your family are to be comended for tring to help. I've never had training and am sure I would have been to shaken up to be of any assistance. My wife is good at situations like this but I'm not.
It takes a special person like you to even try or care about a total stranger. I believe when your time is up nothing can change that. This mans time must have been up. But as your wife said I think you were supposed to be there for the victims girl friend I can't imagine what it would have been like for her if you were not there to try. Bless you and your family!

Baby Grand · Oct 9, 2011

First one - what you did took courage and good judgement. It's hard to snap into action in a situation like that and you did what had to be done. I am truly sorry that the gentleman didn't make it, both for his folks and for the pain that you, and yours, are now dealing with. Your actions give me comfort and hope that there are still good samaritans out there, willing to put themselves at risk to help total strangers. There really is no higher calling. Thank you.
-Jim

redsox1 · Oct 9, 2011

I'm a state trooper and attended CPR refreasher training a couple of weeks ago. We were told the success rate for CPR alone (without AED) is nationally only about 6%. Try not to beat yourself up over this, you got involved and did everything you could. I salute your efforts and am sure the victim's friends and relatives must feel the same.

rcurrie · Oct 9, 2011

There is nothing I can say that will make you feel better about the outcome but you are a hero for trying and I can only hope that I would have the courage that you showed if I were put in the same situation. Best Wishes, Rob.

Domush · Oct 9, 2011

Even though the guy died, way to go for doing your best at it!

it doesn't matter if you did it wrong or right, you were there to help when no one else was. The medics would have corrected you if you were doing it wrong, so apparently you were doing fine.

Good for you for taking CPR training and doing what a good person should. Him dying has nothing to with you, and even though you may feel guilty, it is irrational to feel that way and hopefully fairly soon you'll realize it and simply mourn for the guy as the medics who arrived likely do for the people they can't revive at no fault of their own.

People die, we're fragile creatures and you did you best, way more than anyone around you did. I can only hope someone like you is nearby if anything like that happens to me.