Credit Card Processing

dusty3030 · Jan 21, 2015

Telemarketers, especially credit card processing telemarketers. I get a couple a week get through to me on the phone.

Today in a bubbly voice they start their pitch on how they could save me money in credit card processing costs.
As always I told them our business does not take credit cards but instead of my canned speech about how it doesn't fit our business model and take me off their list I told them very straight forward and professional:

"Our business is importing cocaine and we only accept cash, gold bullion, firearms, or women between the ages of 15 and 25 as payment"

THEY STILL WANTED to send me more information.

CobyRupert · Jan 21, 2015

I've said this before: If everyone did their part (like jury duty), collectively we could end telemarketers.
That is, if just 16 people a day each kept the marketers occupied for a 1/2 hour without success, they'd go out of business.
They rely on making hundreds of calls an hour in order to reach that 1 sucker.
If they only make 16 calls over 8 hours, it would take them days to find that sucker and the whole telemarketing system would collapse.

pmsmechanic · Jan 21, 2015

I give the telephone number calling me one chance. If it's a telemarketer that number gets entered into my cell contact list as "Do not answer". It's amazing how much hassle that saves in the long run. We don't have a land line so this works good for us.

2458n · Jan 21, 2015

What do you do if no number appears on the incoming call? I usually do not pick up. Yesterday I was doing something and answered without looking. It was my lucky day as the man on the phone could save me from paying a high interest rate on my credit cards or straighten out any credit problems. He was ready to get started on this free service as soon as I provided the card number. You know someone must have fallen for this.

pmsmechanic · Jan 21, 2015

I have also given telemarketers the number for my lawyer. I ask them send the lawyer a security deposit of twice what they are asking for. Once the deposit is at the lawyers then we can do business. Most just hang up.

MossRoad · Jan 21, 2015

dusty3030 said:
Telemarketers, especially credit card processing telemarketers. I get a couple a week get through to me on the phone.

Today in a bubbly voice they start their pitch on how they could save me money in credit card processing costs.
As always I told them our business does not take credit cards but instead of my canned speech about how it doesn't fit our business model and take me off their list I told them very straight forward and professional:

"Our business is importing cocaine and we only accept cash, gold bullion, firearms, or women between the ages of 15 and 25 as payment"

THEY STILL WANTED to send me more information.

Print this out and keep it by your phone for the next time they call.... enjoy!

http://egbg.home.xs4all.nl/english/counterscript.pdf

Western · Jan 23, 2015

I don't get telemarketing calls and haven't for around 8 years. I also get 90% less junk mail and I don't have credit card offers floating around after registering at the link below. You fellas might want to look it over, it is one of the things those programs like "lifelock" use to help protect your identity.

This is a Guvment website.
Stopping Unsolicited Mail, Phone Calls, and Email | Consumer Information

Western · Jan 23, 2015

Here is some more good info

Stop Junk Mail and Telemarketing | Fight Identity Theft

oosik · Jan 23, 2015

I don't think I've ever, in the 32 years I've lived here, received a true telemarketing call. Then again, if I kept my cell phone turned on it might make a difference. Since the phone is for my use - I only turn it on when I want to make a call. A couple times a week I will check the recorded messages and see if any are worth a call back. This procedure has worked just fantastic for 32+ years. My primary mode of communication is via email.