You know that you're a redneck if you post pictures of scarecrows showing their buttcracks while bending over an old Ford pickup... Or if you comment on said picture.
I had my wife go out the backdoor and knock on the front door. Gave her a whole bag of York Mints - her favorite!! Still have two bags of unopened candy, which just manages to cover the number of grand-chillin' I hope to see next week.