How to drive your co-workers crazy

[Mosey]

After reading “How to drive your roomate crazy”, which was very funny, I decided to start making up a similar joke.

How to drive your co-workers crazy:

Use the speaker phone and turn the speaker volume all the way up. Be sure and yell into the mic as if you’re talking to someone 200 yards away. This works especially good when you get put on hold and they play some awful music.

Get a cell phone and set the ringer to play some kind of jingle that lasts about 2 seconds. Leave it on your desk, turn the volume up, and leave your cube. Now go call your cell phone number from a conference room phone.

When you need to talk to someone who is in their cube with their back to the opening and intently reading something, be sure and start talking abruptly about something as if you were in mid conversation with them and watch them jerk back and see how long it takes for them to figure out what you’re talking about. Never knock or say “Hey Joe” first.

When you need to talk to someone who is in their cube with their back to the opening and intently reading something, sneak up and just stand there and see how long it takes for them to notice you.

Make popcorn around 10:30am and don’t offer any to anyone.

Rather than get a conference room, get a group of people together just outside your co-workers cube and have a lengthy meeting.

If you finish a can of pop as you walk by someone’s cube, reach in and throw it in their trash can. If you miss, ask them to pick it up.


As some of you may have guessed, not all of this is totally made up out of thin air, they happen all the time where I work. Add to this list if you can think of some ideas. These are for people like me who work in an office, but ideas for other work settings are welcome.

 

[RobS]

This could develop into a very long list Danny! Here's a few more...

Leave about a half a cup of coffee in the departmental coffee pot without making more.

Leave the printers, faxes and copy machines out of paper.

"Reply all" to company wide e-mails with unrelated comments.

Have long, loud conversations about non-work related topics outside the cubes of people who are obviously hard at work.

Adjust your coworkers' phone ring volume.

Disengage, but do not remove the handset plug from your coworkers phone. It should fall away nicely when he/she answers it.

Tape over the ball on the underside of the mouse.

Rearrange the keys on his/her keyboard.

Tape over the phone cord connections then reinstall.

Forward pre-recorded phone messages (like weather reports) to your co-workers.

I could go on, but I'm hoping for some new material to use myself /w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif

 

[jwstewar]

Actually to improve the tape over the mouse a little bit. Take the cover off remove the ball and put the tape on the inside and then reinstall the ball and cover. They don't notice it for awhile.

Unplug the keyboard or mouse from someone's computer and watch them as they try to explain to the help desk why it doesn't work.

 

[Golfgar4]

O.K. Here's a couple of more - from experience! /w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif

Fill your co-workers desk drawers with the "popcorn" packaging material.

Put tape over the activation button(?) on the phone so that when the phone is answered, it just keeps ringing. If you're really good, you can tape all of the phones in the area, and then watch the person trying to answer it run from one phone to another.

Put double-face tape on the bottom of every item on someone's desk that they would normally pick up.

Tie the desk chair with a heavy string to the back legs of the desk so that the chair can't be pulled out.

 

[Wingnut]

well, if I REALLY want to drive them crazy and I'm somewhat upset at them, I find that unplugging the network cable and telephone cable from the box under their desk works well.
If I'm REALLY, REALLY annoyed, I will then put tape over the end of the connector and plug them back in.
And if I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to drive them crazy, I'll remove the tape and reconnect at lunch, just before the repair guy shows up.

What others do to drive me crazy:
- aforementioned leaving 1/2 cup of coffee in the pot (this setup couldn't make it easier for anyone ... all they have to do is put a new filterpak in and hit the button ... but NOOOOOO .... they're TOO BUSY ....)
- have a meeting in our conference room and don't close the door.
- or have the same meeting and connect to a telecommuter ... and turn up the volume all the way ... and leave the door open.
- walk in and start talking when I have the telephone headset on and my back to the door and am troubleshooting someones app and listening to them explain the problem ...
- keep sending me messages about a problem with my app and forget to tell me that you bookmarked an old copy of it
- breathing and being a liberal .... /w3tcompact/icons/grin.gif

or how to drive ME crazy on a Friday .... wait until I have cancelled 4 meetings, sent messages to 20 people asking them for their schedule so you can determine an alternate date, printed out a new map to Montreal so you can ride out on the weekend and pick up your repaired motorhome ... and then let me know at 2:30PM that it's not going to be ready after all, so sorry!
I am now completely crazy! (well, you all knew that anyway!)

/w3tcompact/icons/frown.gif

pete

 

[Kodiak]

If you have a unisex bathroom. Tape the seat to the inside of the lid.