I know there is a Joke thread but this is just too good to bury,..

[brin]

See if you folks agree.....I got a real kick out of this one..:laughing: The Mods will move it if it offends anyone...:thumbsup:
________________


A SENIOR‹… DRIVER'S LICENSE



A man was sitting on his lawn reading and sunning, when he was startled by a late model car crashing through the hedge coming to rest.





He helped an elderly driver out, and set her in a lawn chair.



goodness he exclaimed,you are quite old to be driving!



Yes she replied, I am old enough that I don't need a license anymore. Yes, she continued..."The last time I went to my doctor he examined me, and asked if I had a drivers license. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of

a drawer, cut the license into pieces and threw them in the wastebasket.



You won't be needing this anymore, he said!



"So I thanked him and left!!!

 

[MIKE R]

That is a good one.

 

[brin]

That is a good one.

Yeah Mike...It just struck me and I could see that being me in the future...LOL

 

[MIKE R]

Yeah Mike...It just struck me and I could see that being me in the future...LOL

It reminded me of a Show on television. Canada's Worst Driver.

 

[nunyabinis]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather.


Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

 

[lockhaven]

policeman pulls over a car with 4 ladies in it
policeman; Mam why were you only going 15mph
lady: sir i always go the posted speed limit not a mile over or a mile under always the exact posted speed
policeman; Mam that is the route number not the speed limit
he looks at the other 3 and sees they are in terror, "do not worry ladies it is not against the law to go to slow I am not going to arrest your friend"
lady number 2; thats not what has us scared, we just got off route 104

 

[dave1949]

I've seen that lady, she used to live in Kennebunk, Maine. :laughing:

Seriously, when this elderly gal would drive down Main St., everybody just got out of her way.

 

[Jstpssng]

I've seen that lady, she used to live in Kennebunk, Maine. :laughing:

Seriously, when this elderly gal would drive down Main St., everybody just got out of her way.

Actually I believe she lived in Eustis next to the motel I was staying in. When she was in a headon with a log truck everyone assumed she had crossed the center line; but the investigation showed the other driver was at fault.

(fortunately nobody was seriously hurt.)

 

[MasseyWV]

Good one.

I'd tell a few jokes of my own, but 99.9999999% of them aren't TBN "friendly". They do censor the word "heII" afterall. :laughing:

 

[farmfun]

Originally Posted by dave1949 View Post
I've seen that lady, she used to live in Kennebunk, Maine.

Seriously, when this elderly gal would drive down Main St., everybody just got out of her way.

Actually I believe she lived in Eustis next to the motel I was staying in. When she was in a headon with a log truck everyone assumed she had crossed the center line; but the investigation showed the other driver was at fault.

(fortunately nobody was seriously hurt.)

Let us guess... she over wintered in CA and drove a brand-new, shiny red, super-stock Dodge!

JAN & DEAN- "THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA" - YouTube

And everybody's saying that there's nobody meaner,
Than the little old lady from Pasadena
She drives real fast and she drives real hard;
She's the terror of Colorado Boulevard

The guys come to race her from miles around,
But she'll give 'em a length, then she'll shut 'em down

 

[CrownHawg]

Wow! My mom crashed in that poor man's front yard! Sorry!


Actual question I asked my mom one day while riding with her.

Me: MOM! OMG! Why are you going 100!!!

Mom: Well, my speedometer says I can do 160!

 

[George2615]

On the first day at the new seniors complex, the manager addressed all the new seniors pointing out some of the rules.

"The female sleeping quarters will be off limits for all males, and the male sleeping quarters will be off limits to the females. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $20.00 the first time. The fines are very progressive and a second offense will cost $60.00. A third offense will cost $180.00
Are there any questions?"

At this point an older gent in the crowd stood up and inquired: "How much for a season pass"

 

[George2615]

I forgot my glasses!

Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me," and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.

I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.

She said,"Are you nuts? You're 72 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card. She said to me,"Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week." I told her.

She fainted. Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.

 

[dickfoster]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather.


Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

LOL, good one.