Pet Humor

   / Pet Humor #1  

Jeff396

Veteran Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2001
Messages
1,133
Location
South Carolina
Tractor
Kubota B7500
I'm up to my ears in pet medication. I estimate that I spend about $1000 a year on the stuff. Oh well/w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif


DOG PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS

1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.

3. Yelling at me for barking...I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.

11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out everytime we go back.

14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the visible fence problem


Jeff
 
   / Pet Humor #2  
Jeff, I'd be happy with $1000 for the year. Last summer I had a $1500 week! Our Newfie ended up at a heart specialist for 7 days and had $500+ in EKG's alone. She pulled through and has not had any further heart trouble. They have no idea what caused the infection of the heart lining, but it was touch and go for a week. JJT
 

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