Sad Morning....Please Help!

kevincook · Nov 11, 2003

Goodmoring Everyone,

Today has started off terrible. Our five year old Golden Retriever died around 5:30am. She had been sick for the last several weeks and not eating well but the vet. hasn't been able to figure out what the problem is. We have done a ton of tests with mixed results. Belle had an appointment at Cornell this morning but it is too late. I know we did everything we could but my Wife is VERY upset. I am confident the vet. did everything possible also. He saved her life when she had Parvo virus at eight weeks old.

The kids don't have school today so they are still sleeping. This is going to be a rough morning when they wake up. My two questions that I need answers to right away are:

Should I let my 10 and 12 year old kids see the dog to say goodbye?

I want to bury her in the back yard. How should I bury her?

Thanks,
Kevin

MikePA · Nov 11, 2003

First, my sympathies. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

<font color="blue">Should I let my 10 and 12 year old kids see the dog to say goodbye?</font>
When one of our dogs died, we let the kids say goodbye and asked if they like to be there when she was buried. We made sure the dog was wrapped in a favorite blanket and included toys.

<font color="blue">I want to bury her in the back yard. How should I bury her?</font>
I dug a hole about 4 feet deep. We've also taken dogs to the vet and had them cremated then buried the ashes.

riptides · Nov 11, 2003

Sorry about the dog.
One of the worst ways to start the day.

Ask your children when you tell them the news. That is the best thing you can do, let them make their own minds up.

Again, sorry... hold tight, it will be rough breaking the horrible news.

-Mike Z.

Thomas · Nov 11, 2003

Sorry to read about part of your family passing away.

If it was I..all family members should gather together and give there last respects if they wanted to..she maybe gone but never forgotten w/in your heart.

DocHeb · Nov 11, 2003

Can only answer one of the questions as I've never buried an animal bigger than a gerbil. For the gerbils and hamsters the kids helped make a "coffin" in the workshop. My boys never wanted to watch the burial in the backyard, but my daughter always did.

"Let the kids see her?"

Absolutely - it's even better that they don't have school. Just explain about the natural progression of life, and acknowledge how sad you feel also.

No time for longer explanations, but at work we really try to have relatives see their dead family members. I've also found that it's best to use the "Died" word when telling the outcome. Using ephemisms such as "Passing" will make the family think they've "Passed the test"; "Moving on" will make the family think their loved one "Moved on to the ICU".

Be direct, and don't be afraid to share your emotions.

Thinking of you and yours.

Bird · Nov 11, 2003

A sad time, sorry to hear it, and also a very personal matter. For what I would do, I agree with Mike.

kevincook · Nov 11, 2003

Here is a picture of Belle.

MikePA · Nov 11, 2003

She was a beautiful dog. Again, my deepest sympathies to you and your family.

wroughtn_harv · Nov 11, 2003

Our condolences for your loss. It's always devastating when we lose a close friend.

Golfgar4 · Nov 11, 2003

Sorry to hear of your loss. Belle was a beautiful member of your family.

As some of the others have said, all of your family members should be involved in putting Belle to rest. You all need that final contact, as difficult as it may be.

These are the things that ultimately help to make us strong and bind us together as families. Remember to rejoice in the 5 wonderful years that you shared with Belle.