Deldirt:
I agree with JJ that a pressure compensated variable flow control valve like the Prince he referenced should work for you (I am assuming you have an open center system since you talk about splitting the flow). I have at least three of them on various pieces of equipment, and they are quality devices.
But consider the following in designing your circuit. The valve has three ports: IN, OUT (or priority flow), and EXCESS. Say your aux circuit is 20gpm at 3,000 psi (35hp by guess). If your tph tool is an auger that requires 8 gpm at 3,000 psi to dig at the speed you want, then the valve directs 8 gpm of input flow to the OUT (or priority) port to power the auger. But the valve does this by restricting the orifice through which the remaining 12 gpm of the pump's 20 gpm output passes so that the pressure drop across the orifice is the same 3,000 psi pressure drop in the auger circuit. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but it means that the full 35 hp of pump output is being used. 8/20 of that hp is used to turn the auger. The remaining 12/20 is used to push the 12 gpm excess flow through the orifice in the control valve. So the 12/20 of 35hp, or about 20hp is going to heat the hydraulic oil passing through the restrictive orifice in the excess circuit of the valve.
If you don't use the auger for an extended period, you are probably okay. But 20hp of energy applied to the hydraulic fluid will increase the temperature fairly quickly.
There is no good solution (this is a major disadvantage of an open center system; fluid moves into a work circuit only when it's path back to the tank is blocked). A rotary flow divider solves this problem, but at several times the cost, and the division of flow is fixed in a rotary system.
Send us some pictures of your TPH adapter for the SS.