The difference between cats and dogs...enjoy

ejb · Oct 31, 2003

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ......

Tom_Trees · Oct 31, 2003

Oh, yeah!

Or, from a slightly different perspective -- coming home dead tired after a long and ugly day and all you want to do is relax and read the paper for a while:

Opening the door to a dog's greeting:

"Oh goody! Master's home! Sock? Wanna play sock? I spent all afternoon getting it soggy for you. How about ball? Oh goody, master's home!"

And the same scenario, with a cat:

As the cat uncurls and stretches (slo - o - o - w - ly, as only a cat can), in the most comfortable chair in the house: "Oh, good. You're home. Where the heck's supper?"

Tom

SimS · Oct 31, 2003

Some other things with Cats and Dogs:

"Dogs have Owners"

"Cats have Staff"

Sim

Junkman · Oct 31, 2003

Cats rule, dogs drool! /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Chet · Oct 31, 2003

I love cats! They taste like chicken! /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

(just kidding)

Chet

mountain_man · Oct 31, 2003

Poodle: The Other White Meat... /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

(courtesy Sherman's Lagoon )

Junkman · Oct 31, 2003

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( I love cats! They taste like chicken! /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

(just kidding)

Chet )</font>

Would you like an autographed copy of my book "How to wok your cat" ?? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

gsganzer · Oct 31, 2003

I've run over 23 cats that have run out in front of the car. And for 22 of them, I had to cross at least 2 lanes of traffic. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif