Tractoritis - Clinical Study

[MikePA]

I've observed an interesting affliction, both from reading TBN and from personal experience, /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif TRACTORITIS

Stage 1 - The patient exhibits a strong desire, bordering on OCD, for a tractor. FEL fever, MMM migraines, BrushHog heaves have also been observed. In severe cases, BackHoe hives break out all over the body. Symptoms recede after a large portion of flesh, near the left hip, is excised.

Stage 2 - Just as the patient appears to be recovering from Stage 1, tractoritis re-emerges with a vengence. AdditionalAttachment aneurysms, Implement infarctions, FilledTire fever, TireChain coronaries, MoreSCV malaise, RemoteValve virus, TopNTilt tetanus, are just a few of the gruesome symptoms. Sadly, there is no known cure for those that exhibit Stage 2.

 

[TerryinMD]

Mike,

No cure for Stage 2!! Au contraire.

It's called the CFO, the little lady, the better half, sleeping on the couch, "boy, you're in big trouble now.", "Don't even think about buying .....", etc. /w3tcompact/icons/eyes.gif/w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

Terry

 

[MikePA]

Cure? Nah, that just puts tractoritis into remission. /w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

 

[RobS]

<font color=blue>It's called the CFO, the little lady, the better half, sleeping on the couch, "boy, you're in big trouble now.", "Don't even think about buying .....", etc. </font color=blue>

Terry, that's no cure. Only a way to aleviate the symptoms. Trust me, the disease is still there /w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif

 

[RichZ]

Yeah, I've got tractoritis BAD!! The only thing that ever makes me feel better is buying another attachment, but that doesn't last. I'm sure glad I'm shopping for my second tractor. Shopping is half the fun!!!/w3tcompact/icons/cool.gif And it puts you in remission...for a while./w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif

Rich
"What a long strange trip it's been."

 

[Youare]

Too bad it's not contagious, I've had it for years but my wife never came down with it.

I find the best way to deal with the symptoms is to spend several hours of physical thearpy called seat time. Minor flare-ups can be treated with just looking at the tractor or reading TBN.

Randy

 

[MikePA]

<font color=blue>...but my wife never came down with it.</font color=blue>

I believe this is because most females are genetically immune. /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

 

[Youare]

Is that the same as a genetic defect?

When the wife starts complaining about the kids to our friends, I tell her that when they were concieved every thing was perfect it was that 9 month gestation period that messed them up.

Randy

 

[MikePA]

/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif
We can harldy be held accountable, can we? We've done our job 100% accurately. In fact, I think I was asleep when the 9 month gestation period started.
/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

 

[Youare]

There is a story my wife is not particularly fond of, but it is true.

We were married for about 4 years before our first child was born. She was concerned that maybe something was wrong with one of us because she couldn't seem to become pregnant. Well, she talked to the doctor about her concern and asked if there was testing that could be done to determine if I was defective.

The doctor, protecting my masculinity, said why don't you try this little experiment first. Before you get out of bed in the morning take your temperature. Your temperature will rise slightly when you are at the prime time to concieve.

Well, this one Saturday morning I woke up and rolled over, patted the wife and got leave me alone I want to sleep a little longer. I got up fixed breakfast, loaded the truck to got to the dump, came back into the bed room to tell her I was leaving for the dump.

She said no you're not, get back in bed my temperature is up. I said the truck is running, I've got my heavy boots on, I'm already to got to the dump. She said go turn of the truck and get back in here. So I did and it worked.

Every once in a while when number one son gives me a difficult time I look at my wife and say, I should have gone to the dump. She doesn't find the same humor I do.

Actually I would not take a million dollars for any one of my kids, but I wouldn't give you a nickle for another. I'm waiting for the grand kids!