If you are concerned about slab curling, but an extra roll of poly, 4 mil will do, and cover the concrete with it as soon as you are done finishing and leave it for 7 days. This will retain moisture on the top surface which will prevent differential curing between the top and bottom (the cause of curling). At seven day strength the concrete will be of sufficient strength. This is ACI accepted for proper curing. But by all means put the vapor barrier in.
That said, I've installed millions of square foot of slab on grade without curling or installing the poly on top, but if you're worried that's a correct way of doing it.
A 4" slab is fine if the subgrade is compacted to 95%. But I don't know many small residential guys that do that, or even know how to do it. That said I would cover my bases and pour 5'' with a rebar mat (#3s), to allow for inadequate subgrade. This should be a much bigger worry for you than slab curling.
Also, whoever is pouring 12" slabs for pole barns is wasting a lot of concrete.