Lost 4 friends in the last month :(

[Robert_in_NY]

Robert,

Sorry to hear of your losses. 2010 will be a "great" year. 2007/2008 was my bad year: major car accident - first time in 31 years of driving with over 1 million kilometers of commuting, my Dad passed away, I had heart problems - two stents put in place and lost my job in down sizing... after 22 years.

But, I am getting by. Healthier than I have been in years. Not doing the dangerous commute to work. Doing the things I want to do and focusing my efforts closer to home. I also spend more time with my family/kids now.

You will find you will probably spend more time and valuable time with your daughter now. You may enjoy more things or postponed things with your new time. You also may have some new found time to visit folks and friends you haven't chatted with for a while...

Things will get better...


Good luck.

Thanks everyone. I have used this time to do more things with my daughter since I no longer have to worry about being a great other half but only have to be a great father. I have also started remodeling my house which will be a complete remodel from top to bottom. Every room will be redone, all the wiring and plumbing. Two chimneys will be tore out completely and the roof redone. I will have the main portion done by fall and be living there by the time my daughter is to start 1st grade. It has helped me to focus my attention on something constructive and my daughter enjoys helping me work on our house.

It was tough today saying good bye to my friend but I am hopeful that with this last loss that I will see a positive swing in things.

 

[arrow]

One of the most saddest times I can remember was within a 1 year period, I lost not only a good friend but his entire family as well. In January, of that year, his oldest daughter died in a car accident. In April, he lost his second daughter and last child to leukemia. In November, his wife died of breast cancer. On Christmas day, he took his own life as his losses were just too crushing. He was 55 at the time. Your one loss after another reminded me and I hope you can gain some sort of peace sooner than later.

 

[tugboat-2]

My condolences also Robert. Thats a lot for such a short period of time. If it helps,...and I hope it does,....I am more than twice your age,..I have endured some pretty tragic events,...at least one that I honestly felt I could not mentally survive,...but I did,..along with the rest of the rotten stuff that goes to make up the "experiences" of my particular life!!

~~(OH please don't get me wrong here,...yes I've had bad times but I've also had the most wonderful life, many happy times,..lots of good times!!!)~~

In those nearly 73 years I've seen a lot of death,....many of those "dear ones" which means I've been deeply saddened, deeply hurt and mentally tortured, ..... BUT,...

Yes there is always a BUT,...is there not? Oh yes,..and in this case it's BUT, I survived,...I somehow got through "ALL" of those "experiences",....and not necessarily with flying-colours,...nope,..often just by the skin of my teeth, BUT, I got through,....

Today I'm alive and well and remembering some of them but the important thing is,..we somehow manage to get through and live another day. In spite of the rotten things I've been through,....I'm here to tell you life is good. All those things are behind me and I'm well and happy!!

I thank the good Lord "every" day for getting me to this point,...so I will say to you and Eddie and everyone else who is "suffering" at this moment,....make the best of it,...it "will" pass,.....life goes on,...and on..and from the worst moment, ... it can only get better!! ......and it will! GOD BLESS !!

CHEERS!
. . tug

PS: Robert, I notice you (and Eddie and others) have "projects" to get deeply involved with,....THAT,..is the very best medicine, good for you! HEY!!.... if you're lucky, someday you guys will be 73 and able to look back,...and smile,... ~(But keep your eyes open cuz it happens real quick,....heck I was your age just a week or so ago)....(ah, when you're 73 you'll understand that part).

 

[arrow]

PS: Robert, I notice you (and Eddie and others) have "projects" to get deeply involved with,....THAT,..is the very best medicine, good for you! HEY!!.... if you're lucky, someday you guys will be 73 and able to look back,...and smile,... ~(But keep your eyes open cuz it happens real quick,....heck I was your age just a week or so ago)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by tugboat-2; Today at 05:26 AM.

Well Tug, you said it all there. I look in the mirror and say,"hey,who ate the young man I used to see there" And yes, it, time happens in a flash. I look out the window where I was when 34 at about the time of the Pharoahs and remember yelling for my girls to get out of the corn field and into the car. I think they made a movie about that.

 

[jinman]

Robert, take a long look at Ava and know just how lucky you are in the middle of your losses. Having Ava should give you all the strength and motivation you need to continue being the great person you are. I'm sorry you have lost so many friends, but you have so much to be happy about. I'm sure all those friends would wish the best for you.

 

[wroughtn_harv]

Robert I've got thirty years on you. Losing friends and acquaintenances comes at a faster rate when you get my age. It's what happens and for me the biggest lesson is that what is left is the memories. That's why I work so hard to make them and appreciate them.

 

[riptides]

... I have also started remodeling my house which will be a complete remodel from top to bottom. Every room will be redone, all the wiring and plumbing. Two chimneys will be tore out completely and the roof redone. I will have the main portion done by fall and be living there by the time my daughter is to start 1st grade. It has helped me to focus my attention on something constructive and my daughter enjoys helping me work on our house.

Keep a positive attitude. Memories are great if you focus on the good times.

The house remodel will consume you. It is great to refocus on something you can see the results on. Just be safe doing it.

 

[Lloyd_E]

Robert,

Just read your profile... man I envy you. You have the dream property I would like - 250+ acres. Can you image hope much play time you need to deal with that... Oh well I will keep dreaming. Your house - how old? I love doing reno stuff. I am just finishing our kitchen reno. New cabinets and paint... Post some pics. Life will get better. I just spent 8 hours today helping my friend haul logs out of his wood lot to be milled for my next project - green house. Fabulous day and because we finally got blue sky, sun and warm weather - a great day to be alive!


lloyd

 

[Robert_in_NY]

Thanks guys. I never forget how lucky I am to have Ava in my life. She is the one constant source of happiness

Lloyd, I have lots to do to keep myself busy on the farm. The vineyards take the most time but the field work is a lot of fun as well.

The house is from the early 1900's and is the old style 10' ceilings including the basement. It is a nice solid house that has a lot of charm. I am making it more modern but keeping the old charm where I can.

 

[MossRoad]

Spring always tends to bring about a better state of mind. I was outside yesterday, sitting on a bucket, catching no fish, enjoying the sun on my face and the wildlife around the water. Kingfishers in the branches and sand hill cranes squawking overhead on their migration back north. I looked across the lake to the house my dad built and where I spent the first 24 years of my life. I thought about a similar time in my life when I lost my grandmother, my uncle and my father in less than two years. That was a long time ago. Life goes on like the seasons. Someone passing away is like the onset of winter. As winter drags on it is like the grieving process. As spring comes around, the sun warms your body like the good memories you have of those that have passed on. By summer you are back to living life. I haven't found a metaphor for fall, yet, although I am bald and one year short of 50.