Backfeeding itself isn't really dangerous, you just need the proper protection. Basically you need TWO forms of protection.
So with a improper set up like the op for example, all thats needed in a for things to go bad is ONE single flip of the wrong breaker and you.......well.... whatever.
In a properly protected set up, step ONE you have to flip the switch and you break the utility cct before you make the generator cct.(Break before make) The second form of protection come from the interlocking mecanism physically prevents the TWO breakers from being energize at the same time. So for things to go bad you'd need someone to physically try and close the breakers when the other is already closed AND a physical failure of the mecanical interlock. Two forms of protection.
Back feeding in your panel isn't really a big deal. The potential problem is if you back feed the powerline in error. The linemen won't get the 120/240v from you generator but rather the 4kv or 12 KV that would be stepped up through transformer.
The reason I said the main breaking is like a grenade is you have potential on both side of the breaker terminals from two different sources, both sources will be out of sync and out of phase. if that main breaker got closed somehow, the instantaneous inrush current could exceed the breaker's AIC rating. You could have a catastrophic failure of the breaker.