Helping out former workplace buddy, old neighbor, relative, etc......

[TripleR]

I guess I am more along the lines of 2LaneCruiser and overszd, though I am more on the receiving end now, but I always helped because it was the right thing to do and never cared if I was thanked, paid etc.

If I tried to pay anyone for anything they do for me now they would be insulted; trite I suppose, but I guess there is something to paying it forward, what's the worse that can happen...

 

[BleedingOrange]

Most of the time, being good at most everything is a blessing. I get lots of compliments, from a great variety of different folks, with different needs. The odd time, I do reach a point were I feel I am being used, and that is when I put the brakes on. I have even been asked to help a friend of a friend, for free days worth of work, whom I don,t even know. My gut feeling usually lets me know whether I am being appreciated, or used, and I respond accordingly.

 

[Industrial Toys]

It's actually funny when I think about our belief systems not standing up to scrutiny. I have given total strangers free gas, yet ignored a friend who was in jail for unpaid traffic fines, simply because I happened to know how he spent his money. Maybe familiarity just breeds contempt, I guess.

 

[Sigarms]

It's actually funny when I think about our belief systems not standing up to scrutiny. I have given total strangers free gas, yet ignored a friend who was in jail for unpaid traffic fines, simply because I happened to know how he spent his money. Maybe familiarity just breeds contempt, I guess.

It's called empowering people to use bad habits.

There is nothing wrong with helping people, but helping people time after time when they are stuck in the same situation does nothing to the person you're helping.

Per the OP, his neighbor may have the means to do it himself (or pay someone to do it), but why should he (the neighbor) have to bother?

 

[TripleR]

It's called empowering people to use bad habits.

There is nothing wrong with helping people, but helping people time after time when they are stuck in the same situation does nothing to the person you're helping.

Per the OP, his neighbor may have the means to do it himself (or pay someone to do it), but why should he (the neighbor) have to bother?

Agree, "enabling" is not helping, "helping" can often be making a person accept the consequences of their actions or inaction. I've helped quite a few people by not doing what they asked.

 

[ovrszd]

I guess I am more along the lines of 2LaneCruiser and overszd, though I am more on the receiving end now, but I always helped because it was the right thing to do and never cared if I was thanked, paid etc.

If I tried to pay anyone for anything they do for me now they would be insulted; trite I suppose, but I guess there is something to paying it forward, what's the worse that can happen...

:0

 

[hawkeye08]

Generally we help those that need it..

A number of years ago, the men at church decided to really help the widows. We formed some teams to respond to their needs. I was on the moving team and helped move a widow and her 5 daughters. It was a from one side of town to a distance the other side, perhaps 50 miles.It opened my eyes to how folks take advantage. Nothing was packed or anything. Refrigerator still full of food, cupboards full of dishes, etc. The team had taken boxes and packing materials over two weeks ahead, but absolutely nothing was done. Clothes were still in closets and dressers. They actually expected us to pack it, move it, unpack it without them lifting a finger. The guy that organized it was also a no show... he said his job was getting guys to do the move, not the actual move... The family had money, but thought we should just do it all for them.

That was the last move I was involved in (organized by men's group at least). A month later when the organizer called, I was busy. He wanted me to bring my truck for them to use (just a pickup with 8' bed) but it was busy also. I found out later that the organizer could not get a single man to volunteer. A short time later they ended the program.

I help when I can, but don't like wasting my time on scammers. I have too much I want to do already, like spend time with grand daughters, investing my time in their lives.

 

[Sigarms]

Agree, "enabling" is not helping, "helping" can often be making a person accept the consequences of their actions or inaction. I've helped quite a few people by not doing what they asked.

Enabling is the term I should of used instead of empowering.

Empowering someone IMO is giving someone the proper tools to work with to better themselves or their tasks.

 

[Retiredguy2]

It's called empowering people to use bad habits.

There is nothing wrong with helping people, but helping people time after time when they are stuck in the same situation does nothing to the person you're helping.

Per the OP, his neighbor may have the means to do it himself (or pay someone to do it), but why should he (the neighbor) have to bother?

OP here and just saying: I helped my former neighbor out so many times and was glad to do it because he is one of the rare people who appreciated what I did. He was planning to pick up a used washer and dryer combo he got off Craigslist or whatever using my trailer. He is always grateful for what I do and as I tell him: "You would do the same for me if I needed your help" which pretty much sums up everything. I am always happy to assist a person who is appreciative AND would return the assistance should I ask them.

 

[Gary Fowler]

I don't do community volunteer work but I do try to help any of my neighbors that need it. I don't expect to get any help in return nor any payment of any kind. What I do makes me feel needed and that is the only payment I need. I have been burned a few times by acquaintances but I chalked that up to life experiences so as to not let it happen again.
I could use some help myself from time to time but I just don't ask (not even my wife) unless I just cant do it alone. I was brought up to be self sufficient and pretty much stuck to that my entire life. I don't borrow and don't like to lend either. If someone asks to borrow something, I will just go over with the tool and do the job. It works out better that way and I bring my tools back home, otherwise I am sure I would be out lots of tools.
I like to think that I am treating my fellow man right by doing what I do and the way that I do it.