Helping out former workplace buddy, old neighbor, relative, etc......

[kenmac]

Well, I seem to fall into the helping others category . I rarely if ever ask for any help from others. I'm Always helping someone with something. One guy always borrowing one of my trailers. this same guy now has one of my chain saws. Not one of my good ones. I let him borrow the Poulan I keep just for this reason. LOL

Last month, the guy across the road ask If I could go pick up a small backhoe from a rental place, take it to a job he had, leave it at the job for 2 weeks. Then come get it, bring it back to his house, so he could use it there for 2 weeks. Then, take it back to the rental place for him. I did it for him and charged him $100.00 in diesel fuel for the truck . Last yr. I borrowed a 32 ft extension ladder & walk board from the guy to paint my house.. I would say I paid him back and then some. Maybe he can help me sometime in the future, but I really doubt I will ever need him to physically help me.

 

[Tractor Seabee]

My dad raised and taught me that God expects us to help others in need and not expect any return favor. He practiced what he preached and many times gave to others when he was also in need, I have practiced that all my life now (80) and have no regrets or expectations for help from others. I have a few friends that have the same ethic and we are always helping each other with a bond so tight asking is on our side asking how we cam help.

I currently am on a food bank committee ay my church. We see many cases where the scamming the system is obvious. We all feel that the good we do always over comes the few that take advantage. We are courteous and helpful even to the riff-raff scammers.

Has my ethics cost me? Yes, both time and money but I have no regrets and will help the next one that comes along.

Ron

 

[Grouse09]

Be thankful you know people and they are comfortable enough to ask for help and you are heeled enough to give it (or not). A day will come when no one asks you for help. That is a sad day. Give what you can when you can.

 

[Wagtail]

Quick answer... If you get a good feeling doing it, then do it. Once you feel you're being taken advantage of, back away.

 

[Sigarms]

I have helped him so many times over the past 14 years but have never asked him for assistance in any way...he is basically a good guy and still working full time while I am not. So I got out my tractor and plowed away 2' of drifted snow and helped him hook up the trailer. Knowing he appreciates that makes me willing to help.

I'm with 2LaneCruzer on this one.

If he appreciates you doing this for him, if he was a good guy, he'd be willing to at least make a goodwill gesture towards you, be it in the form of money or something else IMO.

Where did he buy the appliances? Who doesn't deliver anymore? Did he get them of craigslist because he wants to save money, thus he came to you for his moving problem?

Hey, I don't consider myself a bad human being, trying to live by God's word. This past weekend, got little sleep working overnight at a shelter for the homeless. Guess what, the shelter has rules on what you can and CAN'T do for people. I only bring this up because I don't want you thinking I'm a heartless bastard when I say from what you've written, you sound like you're being taken advantage of on a regular basis, and even those who help others in God's name understands you need to draw the line somewhere.

It's one thing to offer help to others when not asked, but it's something completely different to keep helping those who can but won't, because they keep coming to you.

All of that said, you sound like a good man, and ultimately what is most important IMO is not what others do, but what you do.

 

[square1]

Hey, it's Christmas...the giving season...
Having always given freely, usually anonymously so no expectation of being thanked or reciprocation, from the abundance of what has been provided to me I have to admit to feeling a little jaded this year
Usually I feel a burden placed on my heart and of my own accord respond as best I am able.

To a small extent last year and the year before, and a significantly larger amount this year people have for some reason decided to not honor agreements. Its not a huge amount of money I'm out, between $1k and $2k, however because these folks have decided to "take" charity for themselves, I am not able to be charitable where I feel led. It kind of frosts my chaps a bit.

 

[Citydude]

I haven't ever felt taken advantage of when asked for help from friends. My youngest daughter? That's a touchy subject. I would like to think I raised her to be more self sufficient however it's evident that I missed that mark. She got herself into debt being a professional student. Now that she has graduated and working, her salary is hugely upside down on her student and personal loans. How she chooses to manage that debt after I give her advice and the money that goes with it, gives me heartburn. You can't walk away from family.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

I have a story that some of you might appreciate.

I learned that my next door neighbor was having some severe back problems, such that he couldn't even mow his yard...we both had about an acre to mow, and I didn't mind mowing his yard for him. His was actually smaller than mine with less obstacles such that I could mow it quicker an easier than my own.

He also had a dead tree in his back yard that he had intended to remove, but never got around to it. I thought I would surprise him and remove it for him. So, I cut the tree down, and cut it up into fireplace sized logs, intending to burn it in my own fireplace. I thought to myself, that would be my "reward". I finally got the tree down, and all of the small branches I hauled to the creek. Since the stump was relatively small, I dug around it and chopped it out. I brought my small trailer around, raked up all of the chips and sawdust and remaining debris and put it in my trailer to take to the creek. I figured I would dump the trash, come back and haul the wood over to my woodpile.

About that time, he walked out into the back yard where I was raking up the last of the chips. He thanked me profusely. We talked for a few minutes, and when he turned to go back to his house, he said "Oh, don't worry getting rid of those logs, I'll burn them in the fireplace". I said "Good! I guess I'm through".

I thought it was funny, and never thought a thing of it. I loved the man like my own father, and when he got up in age, he and his wife moved to into town. I don't mind admitting it; I wept unashamedly. He was one of the finest men I had ever known. He has passed on now, and I do miss him. I am honored to have known him. May he Rest In Peace.

 

[roadhunter]

I do my best to help people out when they ask but I will rarely ask for help form them.

 

[ovrszd]

Respectfully asking here: Do you hope God is keeping score because you are being a correct guy to help, or is he keeping score that the others are right and/or wrong to ask for your assistance? As for me, another member here asked if I ever ask for help from someone else...I NEVER do. That is just the way I am and always will be.

God's score sheet that myself or Coobie will be privy to has nothing to do with what anyone else did. If you believe your actions are monitored or "scored" you should not concern yourself with what "they" did.

I never used to ask for help either. As I've gotten older I do ask for help with things that goes beyond my physical limits.

I really like your Avatar!!!!