Helping out former workplace buddy, old neighbor, relative, etc......

[BrokeFarmerJohn]

This was an interesting thread of responses, it was a interesting read.

This is how I look at it when someone asks me for help, I first ask there timeframe and urgency.

If they need borrow a tool or equipment, call me **** about my stuff but I would rather do it for them rather than letting them have free range on all my stuff. If they want to move appliances, I will hook up my trailer or dads and help move it with them, I guess I don't trust people enough to return my stuff in as good or better shape than they got it.

I used to loan my trucks out, after I got them back on E and with a few new dents time and time again, let's just say it's not worth arguing over stuff like that.

I don't expect a return from people, I'm not keeping score, I see it as protecting my own stuff by going with my equipment, that way there's no argument after if something happens.

Borrowers never tell you what they did, they expect you to just find out later which is a big pet peeve of mine. And if they do it I don't help them much anymore.

I usually expect them to reimburse me with fuel and fix what gets broken family or not.

I find myself in need more than I want to admit, help working on cars, moving stuff ext. I just don't have the money to buy everything right now but I obnoxiously take good care of my stuff, even if I'm doing a favor for someone and I damage there equipment, I will just buy a new part for them rather than mending it, because mending it usually is overall worse shape than I got it so I don't want that (try to set an example of how I want my stuff to be treated). For that reason people trust me with there stuff, if it costs me a new tire because there trailer got a flat in my possession, so be it, I may be behind now but since I don't have to buy the trailer I'm still ahead.

I normally don't like to borrow things from people, I will ask for help from time to time with stuff but will use my equipment first, pay for there gas, buy them dinner ext. and am grateful I find people willing to donate some of there time. I will do the same for them when they need it.

That being said my mother is living in my house free of charge to save on gas vs her house, she's moved in full time now (only for 3 months) and I don't charge, I have a 16x32 barn that's been taken over with my dad's stuff, it's been stuffed full for 2 years and I have never charged him for storage. I just work out of my main barn and garage.

My trade is HVAC so I'm constantly working on people's equipment, stuff that's simple to me and will take a few hours of my time is overwhelming to people, I usually charge cost of parts plus $40 which more than covers my gas and saves them a few hundred from calling a company.

I find that if there's a little money exchange that people tend not to take advantage of you but it still really helps them out in the process.

So back to the original subject, yes I would help them move there appliances but on my terms, I would volunteer my time and will help them so I can sleep at night not worrying that there tearing up my stuff, very few people I trust to use my equipment when I'm not there.

I'm not shy of asking someone to ride along, I'm the same way as someone else posted, I will call someone up and ask them what there doing, I won't ask for help or guilt them into something, if there free I will tell them my plans and invite them over, if there busy no big deal, I will manage on my own, I'm used to it lol.

I see it this way, if I told you I was any less than blessed I would be lying, it may not always be fun but at the end of the day, I have way more than I deserve.

God is good to me. I get told all the time that people are blessed and thankful for knowing me, I don't see what they see, most the stuff they need help with is so simple a monkey can do it and I get paid gas so we're even. I never feel like I'm going very far out of my way to help people.

 

[hturner12]

Here is my take on borrowing. If I or you need once borrow or rent. Found myself or someone else borrowing repeatedly time to buy

 

[check]

A lot of very, very helpful people here. Really nice to see, especially at this time of the year.

 

[Industrial Toys]

I knew a single women who was out of firewood (and money). It was getting cold so I offered to HELP. I got there with my saw and we proceeded into her bush. Shortly after that, she went back to the house, with no intention of returning, as if it was my job. I left shortly after that.

We were still friends after that. It always amazes me, how people will remain your friend when you stick up for yourself. It's called respect. People that are willing to be anothers doormat don't get that.

Same woman, earlier on. I rescued her, our of gas, and brought her a couple of gallon. She had no money, but PROMISED to bake me an apple pie. She has since moved to Costarica, and I am still waiting for my pie!

 

[BrokeFarmerJohn]

I knew a single women who was out of firewood and it was getting cold. I offered to HELP. I got there with my saw and we proceeded into her bush. Shortly after that, she went back to the house, with no intention of returning, as if it was my job. I left shortly after that.

We were still friends after that. It always amazes me, how people will remain your friend when you stick up for yourself. It's called respect. People that are willing to be anothers doormat don't get that.

I would have done the same and refer her to one of those help with your heating bill programs. Firewood is too much work to do for someone like that.

 

[sld]

I knew a single women who was out of firewood (and money). It was getting cold so I offered to HELP. I got there with my saw and we proceeded into her bush. Shortly after that, she went back to the house, with no intention of returning, as if it was my job. I left shortly after that.

At least you got into her bush! (couldn't resist, sorry)

I always take it as challenge to figure out how to do something without getting help. But, that doesn't always work and help is much appreciated.

I don't think I have ever turned down anyone that asked me for help. To me, it's a chance to use my tools and the few skills I have to help someone out. That always feels good.

Someone asking for financial help is another story.

 

[Industrial Toys]

What's the difference really? Time is money. Farming has become just another industry. So when a farmer neighbor asks for help to bring in his hay crop, as mine did of all the neighbors, what's the difference if a small manufacturing concern in town asked you to come in and work for free?

 

[shaeff]

My wife always feels that I'm being taken advantage of. Oftentimes it'll be from her father or my future brother-in-law. I was raised in a household that was apparently very tight on money when I was a child. My father worked two full time jobs tirelessly, 7 days a week and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. Money was tight enough that if we got to order a pizza once a month, that was a huge deal. But we always had clothes on our back, shoes on our feet, and two amazing parents. We had no idea that money was tight, we thought we had everything in the world. My father would often barter work for go-carts, old snomobiles, etc... then fix them up for us to ride around. He was, and still is always helping people if/when the need should arise. I know that he doesn't ever want us kids to feel this way, but if he calls and says "what are you up to?" my answer is always "nothing, what do you need?" .

He rarely asks for help, but my brother, sister, and myself are always ready if he does or if we find out he could use a hand with something.

That mentality rubbed off on me. If someone needs help, I almost always make myself available. More often then not I'll neglect my own projects at home to help others. (not to the point that anything of ours is in disrepair, but if I have plans to fix something of mine I'll push it off to help someone else)

My father-in-law always asks me to make dump runs with him. Cleaning out his basement is a tiring task. I have no idea where he gets all this stuff. My brother-in-law always needs his weed whacker, chainsaw, or snowblower fixed or worked on. I will admit, it's getting old doing that stuff over and over. I'm handy enough through learning from my father that I never ask for help really from anyone unless I'm doing carpentry, in which case I ask my father because he's a vast knowledge base of carpentry info and also a perfectionist.

I do get tired of helping, and sometimes I'll make them wait when it's not an emergency. But you can bet that if someone calls me at 3am and needs help I'll be the first person there with a pickup full of tools. I've got one very, very good friend that I'd drop **** near anything to help. He's just a great guy, reminds me of my father a lot. Same goes for helping my siblings.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

2Lane, back in your post #18, I was CERTAIN that your story was going to end with your neighbor having a sad (or mad) look on his face while he told you that his wife had decided that she really, really wanted to keep the tree!

It was a peach tree, and deader than a door nail. His wife, who is still living, and in her 90's, is such an angel that she would have never let me know if she had been displeased.

 

[sld]

What's the difference really? Time is money. Farming has become just another industry. So when a farmer neighbor asks for help to bring in his hay crop, as mine did of all the neighbors, what's the difference if a small manufacturing concern in town asked you to come in and work for free?

If this was in reply to me, then time does not always equal money. I have helped several neighbors build and repair things many times. To me, a night in the garage being productive is much better than a night doing nothing. It's not like they are taking away from my daytime working hours.

The bonus is that every time you work on something you learn something from it. This has helped me many times on my own projects.