Growing Old With Dignity

[Steppenwolfe]

My new philosophy on life is, am I living to die or am i dying to live. I prefer dying to live! I am holding true to it, screw work, screw home improvement screw yard care....thats all people do-watch TV, work on home.
I am going to live on the beach in a tropical country and get served food and beer watching the beautiful Brazilians and Argentinians walk by, walk, eat healthy workout. To **** with waiting until 67 to enjoy life, I mean who the heck came up with that anyway?
Most people at that age cant hike up a hill to see the beautiful coast line. I know to many 50 year olds in nursing homes......
Cant escape death because you were born so its what you do in between that counts-to **** with dignity.

My mom and dad at 75 are perfect role models for me-they are traveling the country in a conversion van-even going to Mexico now and then. they dont have money so they sleep in a Walmart parking lots half the time in the van-having a friggin blast!

When I die i want a party-to **** with open casket crap, dont want people to remember me by my lifeless body. it will be a party not a wake.

To each his own... My wife and I have enjoyed 41 years together, we both feel it has been a great run and a good life. We plan on continuing that as long as we can. We are both 60 with the kids a distant memory, and savor every moment of the day. As for dying ? Well, we hope we can somehow both leave together... that would be a blessing and icing on the cake of life.

 

[Fuddy1952]

If the elderly have children or someone they trust...really trust...they can make the POA, POD, sign house, everything they own over to them. Hopefully 5+ years before they require nursing home care.
That's what my in laws did with my wife, their only child. Wife of course let them live in "their" home long as they were able.
After about 10 years when they went into nursing home they had good care, Medicare and Medicaid.
They worked hard before retirement, would rather my wife get their money.
Worked great but they really had to trust their daughter.

 

[goeduck]

My father in law paid for his LTHC insurance for decades. When we needed it, it took 3 months of constant effort from my wife to pry lose the monthly support payments. Then at one point they claimed he was no longer in need and shut the payments down. It took more months of effort to get it going again. Then after he passed they sent us a letter that they had overpaid by $2600. That is two months of support. No way did they make that error. It was just an attempt to claw back what they had paid. Cost to them of making the attempt was just postage.

My parents paid into a similar program, same type of story..... did not want to pay out. So we had an attorney write them a letter and then and only then did they start paying.

 

[Diggin It]

I don't consider having somebody feed me, burp me and wipe me several times a day while taking large sums of money from me to be 'dignified'. Gimme the pill or the shot Doc.

 

[dodge man]

My take. If you have cancer or Alzheimer痴 or some other lingering disease the feeling is you hung on too long a became a burden. Die in the middle of the night suddenly and people say you had so many good years left.

We have discussed this with our financial planner and feel we are prepared. Are you mentally prepared. NEVER.

 

[ovrszd]

My Mom died three years ago at 94. Spent the last two years in a Rest Home of her choice and by her decision. Sometimes her care was substandard in my opinion. At those times I politely asserted myself to the management. Problems were always solved.

I say again, the care you receive will be measured by your family. Not by an insurance policy. So I suggest spending your time with your family to build that relationship.

 

[Complete Turf Care]

My Mom died three years ago at 94. Spent the last two years in a Rest Home of her choice and by her decision. Sometimes her care was substandard in my opinion. At those times I politely asserted myself to the management. Problems were always solved.

I say again, the care you receive will be measured by your family. Not by an insurance policy. So I suggest spending your time with your family to build that relationship.

I think I would like to spend my final years in an assisted living facility similar to where my parents are. I feel they are in a much better position now than they would be in their own home. And the assisted living home is nice. They have all sorts of activities, they take trips to the casinos, and there is a pond out front where my dad still goes fishing on his electric scooter.

And I also agree that the level of care is affected by the amount of times the family visits, especially in a nursing home. My dad has spent some time in a nursing home for some rehab, and several people have told me the same thing......visit them often....and at different times so you can see what's really going on.

 

[Sigarms]

My Mom died three years ago at 94. Spent the last two years in a Rest Home of her choice and by her decision. Sometimes her care was substandard in my opinion. At those times I politely asserted myself to the management. Problems were always solved.

I say again, the care you receive will be measured by your family. Not by an insurance policy. So I suggest spending your time with your family to build that relationship.

100% agreed.

My 87 year old father is now living with us. Took him to a private doctor as I thought the VA wasn't doing enough since he moved down to NC with us (and I have a GREAT wife who loves him like I love her own parents).

I joked with my dad that if I ever have to change his underwear, if he wants me to put him out of his misery. He said yes. The issue is (and I explained this to him) I would be on trial for killing my father.

This is the same guy (father) who chased me around a car with a tire iron screaming that he was going to kill me LMAO. My dad was pretty much "old school", but he loved me as a son as much as he loved his wife for 40 years (she has since died).

Family is the only thing you have in this world. Hopefully my teenagers will realize this.

 

[Bird]

I've posted before about my next door neighbor who hasn't gotten around without a walker in about 9 years. He's 89 years old and has an unmarried son about 65 who recently moved in with him. But after he fell three or four times in the house and is heavy enough for it to be difficult to get him back up, he's gone again to the rehab facility. He can no longer get around with a walker; only in a wheelchair. Now he still wants to be back in his own house, but when I visited yesterday, he told me they are going to move him from the rehab (private rooms) to a room with a roommate. So I'll be very surprised if he ever comes home. But the doctors have said his heart's strong, so no telling how long he might live, and he's still OK mentally, but I know that he would much rather go ahead and die. In fact he's told me so. And I'm sure, if I were in his condition, I'd feel the same way.

 

[PILOON]

A few mins back I was on a site with funny bumper stickers and one caught my eye that is appropriate for this discussion.
It read------------

"BE SURE TO BE NICE TO YOUR KIDS AS THEY WILL BE THE ONES THAT WILL SELECT YOUR NURSING HOME"