Need some advice on what to do with parents belongings

[ultrarunner]

It is eye opening the cost of memory care... monthly 10 to 12K is not unusual here...

I had a very dear great, great aunt without children... when she moved to assisted living she was quite anxious. She accepted my offer to store anything she wanted in my vacant 12x18 detached garage... over the next 4 years there were a few things retrieved but as I learned of those needing things like a dining table she was happy to give it to them...

The difference is she was able to decide who and what and just a thank you is all she wanted...

By the time she passed it had all been given away with her blessing.

One of my friends passed away leaving a 20,000 square foot warehouse of collector vehicles... Cord, Packard, Brass Cars...

Instead of a burden it was all auctioned off and the heirs realized over a million dollars...

 

[ovrszd]

Kind of like a family time capsule...

Some are interested and others not...

Years ago the family farm had a bonfire when the 1800 barn was razed... a few pictures were taken and there was lots of old horse and oxen harnesses, wagons... etc.

A lot of things desirable today...

Picture of my Great Grandfather's first car. Purchased when he was an old man. Priceless.

 

[ovrszd]

My dad died July 20th 2015 and I have left his place just like he got up and walked out that day, but I am down there about every other afternoon working on something or digging in his barn for something that I need for a project , until about a month ago I wasn't willing to do anything with it , but I woke up one night from a dead sleep and said to myself no matter what he ain't coming back , I made my mind up right then that I was ready to start cleaning out his house and when I finish I will rent it out until one of my boys is ready to move in there and at that point it can be their's to work out. I won't give away all his tools I will let the boys build them a barn full of stuff out of them , I think about him everyday and laugh about some of the things that we got into , all the projects, all the wild hogs we caught and tied, horses we broke and all the questions that I have today that I wish I had asked him before it was to late , that I now have to figure out for myself. Good luck with whatever you decide. Charlie.

Thank you Charlie. Great story. Life changing moment wasn't it.

 

[ovrszd]

Makes you wonder. I watched a lot of weird abandoned houses videos, frozen in time often many years ago. Like time capsules. I wonder if relatives simply couldn't deal with disposing of someones life.

I think this is the difference between you and I. Neither wrong.

You look at it as disposing of someone's life.

I look at it as cherishing someone's life.

 

[4570Man]

I might be in the minority here but I have plenty of my own junk I sure don’t need another building full of my dads. Anything I needed/wanted I would keep and the rest I would sell/giveaway.

 

[RjCorazza]

Sorry for your loss. Both my parents died within 3 months in 2019. What we did was all get together and decide upon personal or sentimental items to be cared for, then hired an estate sale company to handle the rest. What took the most time was filtering financial, or otherwise personal information that we wanted shredded.
We feel like we honored our parents memory with the items that were deemed important, the rest was really just "stuff".

 

[newbury]

As I go thru the day, and use tools, trucks, or whatever...I am reminded of where they came from. I often smile when I reach over start my truck, or a set of impact sockets that my Dad gave me, or use the pedestal grinder that my oldest Sister gave! I have multiple sets of tools, two mine, one from a friends Dad and my brother's. When my Dad passes away, I wouldn't hesitate to add his to my hoard if they become available. (doubtful). I guess I am one of the few that thinks maybe another shop built and everything moved into it. You could bring that truck in and one day you might even finish restoring it, using the tools your Dad owned. I wouldn't hesitate to do that, so I could go out and be with Dad when I had a rough day or maybe just as a pick me up. There will be days when you will wish you had them, and days you will think you should have gotten rid of all that stuff, but you can't have it both ways and having a shop built for the truck isn't a bad idea, and using his tools just makes it sweet.
David from jax

That's how I've done it - I inherited many tools from my Father and Grandfather. Enough to fill four footlockers of good hand tools and maybe a 10x10 room of other "stuff", gardening tools etc. When they and I built a house in 1963 I was taught to use many of the tools. Since then I've given 1 footlockers worth to one son and about another footlockers worth among his 3 siblings.

I couldn't sell any of my Dad's tools or truck. If I didn't want to have duplicates I'd sell mine and keep his. I had a lot of my Dad's tools and my deceased Son's tools in my shop when it burned ten years ago. I still miss those things today.

My display of this heritage and respect of these items has been passed on to my Sons. They too value these things. I think it's a positive addition to our character.

Today when I grabbed the 70 year old 5 lb sledgehammer of my Grandfathers I briefly flashed back to using it for splitting concrete blocks when we were building the basement in 1963 and I was ruining "perfectly good blocks", so he said. Or I'll grab my Grandmothers iron rake (that she had back in the 1950's) and briefly remember using it with her to tend the gardens in the 1960's.

Some people keep books of photos and go through them on occasion, I've got them but rely more on tools for the memories.

Hopefully I've passed some of this on to my children.

/edit - One of my favorite tools is an electric grinder/sharpening stone my Grandfather (or so I've been told since '63) built using a motor from their first refrigerator they bought in the 1920's.

 

[Industrial Toys]

I think there is a big difference in AGE of the deceased. The older people, just happen to have things that might be antique and such considered valuable. If a teen died today, do you think many of their possessions would be considered cherished? I'm thinking not so much. I used the term disposed with some reservation, but at the end of the day, that's often what it boils down to. We aren't the stuff we own. So it's really no biggie.

 

[Jstpssng]

My experience has always been that if you aren't sure what to do that's the wrong time to do something... especially when it comes to the death of a loved one.
Just my :2cents:

 

[Pixguy]

I took some tools of my late father and my brothers and sons did as well. I think of him every time I grab that drill or use that grinding wheel. I personally would keep the tools I needed to refurb the truck and I'd drive that truck with him riding right along side of me.

But hey, that's me.