Funeral Costs

[MoKelly]

My father passed last Saturday. He lived in Memphis but will be buried in STL in an already purchased plot next to my mom.

We had to make all the arrangements. Holy cow folks!

- casket $5500

- transport to STL $3000

- Memphis funeral home $3200

- STL funeral home $2200

- burial $1500

- flowers $800

- reception food $800

Original death certificates are $50 each. You need lots of original death certificates. Every POD wants an original.

Those are the big items. Lots of little stuff. Church ministers, choir and servers want their money in cash in an envelope.

My dad had put away the money for all the costs. That isn’t an issue. Nevertheless, it’s something to experience and it’s not a great experience.

I’d say if you haven’t prearranged everything, you should seriously consider.

MoKelly

 

[EddieWalker]

Sorry for your loss.

My dad is getting close and we're thankful for every month that he's here, but we've also put in some time going over his arrangements. Fortunately, he wants to be cremated, so that's a huge savings for my mom.

My wife and I have also made it clear that we would prefer to be cremated and have our ashes spread out over our big pond.

 

[MossRoad]

First, please accept my condolences on your father's passing. I wish you and yours peace.


Second, thanks for the frank discussion on funeral costs.

My father in-law passed away in November last year. He and my mother in-law had everything pre-arranged. Even with that, there were additional costs because the cost of some things out of control of the funeral home had risen. I think it was both the cement vault and the grave opening fees from the cemetery had gone up a few hundred dollars. Other than that, everything was locked in price.

I asked the funeral director how much they saved by pre-planning? He showed me what my in-laws paid about 10 years ago and locked in their prices, VS paying on that day at the time of death. It was, as I recall, over a thousand dollars, but under two thousand. It was significant to them.

It was just nice to be able to go into the funeral home office after he passed, sit down with the funeral director, and he opens a file, shows you that everything has already been taken care of, and all they needed was a small check to take care of that vault and grave opening. 10 minute meeting. Made it a lot easier on my mother in-law that day.

 

[MoKelly]

First, please accept my condolences on your father's passing. I wish you and yours peace.


Second, thanks for the frank discussion on funeral costs.

My father in-law passed away in November last year. He and my mother in-law had everything pre-arranged. Even with that, there were additional costs because the cost of some things out of control of the funeral home had risen. I think it was both the cement vault and the grave opening fees from the cemetery had gone up a few hundred dollars. Other than that, everything was locked in price.

I asked the funeral director how much they saved by pre-planning? He showed me what my in-laws paid about 10 years ago and locked in their prices, VS paying on that day at the time of death. It was, as I recall, over a thousand dollars, but under two thousand. It was significant to them.

It was just nice to be able to go into the funeral home office after he passed, sit down with the funeral director, and he opens a file, shows you that everything has already been taken care of, and all they needed was a small check to take care of that vault and grave opening. 10 minute meeting. Made it a lot easier on my mother in-law that day.

Thanks for the kind words. My dad was getting very frail and his only fear in old age was not being able to live independently. He wanted zero to do with nursing homes. So, I view this as a blessing. It was his time.

I do believe what you describe is the best way to handle.

I guess the only “risk” in that plan is if the funeral home goes out-of-business? Not acquired by another company but just closes the doors.

My wife and I have an appointment in 3 weeks to begin the prearrangement process. I’ll let everyone know how that goes.

MoKelly

 

[MossRoad]

Thanks for the kind words. My dad was getting very frail and his only fear in old age was not being able to live independently. He wanted zero to do with nursing homes. So, I view this as a blessing. It was his time.

I do believe what you describe is the best way to handle.

I guess the only “risk” in that plan is if the funeral home goes out-of-business? Not acquired by another company but just closes the doors.

My wife and I have an appointment in 3 weeks to begin the prearrangement process. I’ll let everyone know how that goes.

MoKelly

Yep. I can see that it's our turn to do the planning soon so our kids won't have to. I can see how a funeral home going out of business would be a concern. However, both of the ones that our family use are in their 3rd or more generation, business is sadly booming, one of them owns their own cemetery, and I don't see them going out of business or being bought out.

But my crystal ball doesn't have the best of track records.

 

[PILOON]

Boy do those funeral sales folks know all the sales tricks.
They sure know how to make you feel guilty if U don't spend a fortune.
Yep, pre arranged sure saves your kin much guilt and $$'s.

 

[ptsg]

I can't really help you on this discussion but I just wanted to send you my condolences on your father's passing MoKelly.

 

[MoKelly]

I can't really help you on this discussion but I just wanted to send you my condolences on your father's passing MoKelly.

Thank you very much.

 

[Wagtail]

Thanks for the kind words. My dad was getting very frail and his only fear in old age was not being able to live independently. He wanted zero to do with nursing homes. So, I view this as a blessing. It was his time.

I do believe what you describe is the best way to handle.

I guess the only “risk” in that plan is if the funeral home goes out-of-business? Not acquired by another company but just closes the doors.

My wife and I have an appointment in 3 weeks to begin the prearrangement process. I’ll let everyone know how that goes.

MoKelly

Condolences Mate.

I 'got off my arse' and went to the local funeral parlour to discuss my arrangements. Actually a great experience and a lot for me to ponder after the fact including songs/hymns, readings and, most importantly, they took down all of my details for completing my Death Certificate. Everything will be kept 'on file' and the price is locked in. By law, I had a week's cooling off period before signing.

Here in Tassie (at least) the money goes into a specific trust at a specific banking institution that is independent of the funeral home/parlour. If I cark-it somewhere else, or have moved in the future, the local funeral parlour gets everything transferred to them... arrangements, Certificate information and the $'s from the 'trust'.

 

[ranger danger]

When my mom passed 4 years ago her service cost me a total of $1650. I had her cremated and had a celebration of life at my property in the mountains with about 50 people. I hired a BBQ caterer for $600 and had a granite park bench with an inscription made for her marker, cost me $500. Her cremation cost $550. No casket needed. We spread her ashes on my place and my daughters place up the road. I don't understand why people go into debt for weddings and funerals. When I got married, my wife and I went to the courthouse. Cost $75. We've been married for over 38 years and did not start our lives together in dept.

 

[rangerfredbob]

Yeah, it can be expensive, my dad wanted to be cremated which wasn't too bad, we had a celebration of life a bit later at a community center by the highest concentration of people which was cheap... the rest was a pain in the rear when there was no planning involved... After dealing with it I would recommend people to set up a trust with a lawyer, that's what my grandma did and my mom said it was pretty simple on her end... 3 years later I have started getting fewer phone calls and texts from human scum trying to buy the property he didn't own...

 

[dstig1]

I'm afraid this is a hot button with me. I see funeral parlors as total scams.They suck money out of people when they are most vulnerable. You don't really need any of this. The state has some requirements you can't avoid, mostly for good public health reasons. After that it is a money grab. My Dad passed back in '08 and I was with my brother and mom for the arrangements. It made me furious what they were doing to my mom, but she wanted to do it all as it was "what was expected". Now it didn't ruin her financially but it is a total waste of money and is truly the lowest form of taking advantage of people. When I am ready to go? Put a bullet in my head and push me in the river. $0.50. I/we will do it for my mom when she goes as it will be what she wants, but never again after that.

Mokelly I am sorry about your father. Been there and know how much it hurts even though he was in so much pain at the time that it "was for the best" in our case.

 

[Torvy]

Sorry for your loss, @MoKelly . Mom and dad are both living their 90th year. There are four of us 'kids' and while I know they have mad arrangements, I am the last one to know...I'm in the middle. My dad sounds like yours...he's originally from Missouri, so maybe that's why. I appreciate you sharing the details. I remember growing up, the undertakers were some of the wealthiest people in town. For them, business is always at least steady. Pax Domini.

I told my wife and kids, to just do whatever is cheapest. I'll be dead and will not care. It is probably time for us to prearrange something more formal.

 

[Wagtail]

I'm afraid this is a hot button with me. I see funeral parlors as total scams. They suck money out of people when they are most vulnerable. You don't really need any of this. The state has some requirements you can't avoid, mostly for good public health reasons. After that it is a money grab. My Dad passed back in '08 and I was with my brother and mom for the arrangements. It made me furious what they were doing to my mom, but she wanted to do it all as it was "what was expected". Now it didn't ruin her financially but it is a total waste of money and is truly the lowest form of taking advantage of people. When I am ready to go? Put a bullet in my head and push me in the river. $0.50. I/we will do it for my mom when she goes as it will be what she wants, but never again after that.

Mokelly I am sorry about your father. Been there and know how much it hurts even though he was in so much pain at the time that it "was for the best" in our case.

And that's my point of seeing/talking/arranging funerals when you're 'hale & hardy'; you're sound of mind.

My experience, as I posted earlier, was very pleasant. Yeah, almost A$7k, was a bit of a shock for a bare-bones cremation but it's done... none of us are getting out of here alive anyway.

Actually, the biggest problem will be in getting a proper Will drawn up. (Yet another thing that I need to 'get off my arse' and do)

 

[Jstpssng]

And that's my point of seeing/talking/arranging funerals when you're 'hale & hardy'; you're sound of mind.

My experience, as I posted earlier, was very pleasant. Yeah, almost A$7k, was a bit of a shock for a bare-bones cremation but it's done... none of us are getting out of here alive anyway.

Actually, the biggest problem will be in getting a proper Will drawn up. (Yet another thing that I need to 'get off my arse' and do)

The best things which you can do for your heirs are plan your funeral and write your will. The will is actually the easy part. Nobody wants to think about the other so we keep putting it off.

 

[Thomas]

Sorry for the loss of your father...special prayers.

My parents pass when in year of each other in jungle paper work and cost I never knew or heard of...lawyers,town,state wanted there piece of the pie.

 

[hugo454]

when my mom passed, she had it all prepaid.The only thing not included were the flowers at the wake.Needless to say that afterwards,I made sure that the wife and I had already prepaid for our funerals and there will be no cost imposed upon our survivors.

 

[ultrarunner]

Have not been to a funeral in quite sometime as the deceased did not want funerals... many had Neptune society cremations or family spread ashes...

Grandmother did preplanning and bought a family niche that can hold a lot of ashes and overtime I came to realize it is the gift that keeps giving...

She consolidated various scattered urns and as kids we often would visit with her...

More than a few elaborate funerals never materialized due to Covid and I wonder what happens to the 20k funeral when not physically able to perform?

 

[Hay Dude]

Mo, sorry for the loss of your dad. Lost my dad about 8 years ago and still think of him. The funeral business is quite a racket. Your dad was a smart man to leave money for funeral expenses.
You are going through a tough time between the grief and the detailed task of a burial.
May God Bless your father and your family in this difficult time.

 

[MoKelly]

Thanks to all for the kind words.

Today is the funeral. All 5 of my younger sisters are here. That is a real blessing.

My Dad left a will. Simple but well thought out.

That is the next chapter - executing the will.

Thanks again everyone.

MoKelly