You Know You Are Old When

[masseyrider]

Funny aside, my house was occupied by a particularly pious and well-known Mennonite family for about 150 years. But one of them, we think probably one of the son’s of the last generation of that family to live here, was a serious drinker. We found a pile of booze bottles that would fill a van, conveniently hidden in the woods about 300 feet from the house, which would date to that time. I’m guessing that boy’s parents thought he was just very dedicating to “going out to check on the cows”, every night.

When I was a kid coming back from walking my Dino there was a car on the yard.
Turned out to be RCMP. They had a report that my father was moonshining.
They checked all over and found nothing except for a couple packs of US smokes that my Godfathers wife brought my mother.
Before leaving they gave Pa their card and said if he knew of someone moonshining they'd make it worth while to report them.
My father said they wouldn't find many as most around here were Mennonites.
The guys laughed and said, "Who do you think we catch the most?"

 

[newbury]

My male Dr. Banana Fingers retired a year ago, replaced by a young female. I thought finally, after 30 years, small hands for my prostate exam. "Oh...we don't recommend that after you're 72" she said.

An Uncle (who has passed away, RIP) was a great dentist, but with Banana Fingers. One of his daughters became a great dentist, has her own practice and about 6 petite females working for her. ALL with small fingers. It is such a relief to have a dentist with small fingers.

 

[WinterDeere]

An Uncle (who has passed away, RIP) was a great dentist, but with Banana Fingers. One of his daughters became a great dentist, has her own practice and about 6 petite females working for her. ALL with small fingers. It is such a relief to have a dentist with small fingers.

When I moved into my current neighborhood, one of the neighbors invited to their annual crab bake, a big party with truckloads of boiled and grilled Maryland blue claws. We'd been in the neighborhood all of 2 or 3 weeks at that point, just learning the names of our 9 or 10 neighboring households.

I guess I must have mentioned I needed to find a local doctor, my prior one was an hour's drive from our new home, and one of the neighbors said "we all see Hal". Apparently Hal was one of the other neighbors.

One of the other guys at the same table overheard, and said "you know why we all see Hal, right?" Of course I didn't.

So he waves and yells "Hi Hal!" to another guy across the patio, and the other guy waves back. Then he says, "see how small his hands are? That is why we all see Hal."

 

[masseyrider]

When I moved into my current neighborhood, one of the neighbors invited to their annual crab bake, a big party with truckloads of boiled and grilled Maryland blue claws. We'd been in the neighborhood all of 2 or 3 weeks at that point, just learning the names of our 9 or 10 neighboring households.

I guess I must have mentioned I needed to find a local doctor, my prior one was an hour's drive from our new home, and one of the neighbors said "we all see Hal". Apparently Hal was one of the other neighbors.

One of the other guys at the same table overheard, and said "you know why we all see Hal, right?" Of course I didn't.

So he waves and yells "Hi Hal!" to another guy across the patio, and the other guy waves back. Then he says, "see how small his hands are? That is why we all see Hal."

A female Dr. knows how things measure up in her community.

 

[WinterDeere]

A female Dr. knows how things measure up in her community.

My doctor is a woman, and a very attractive and fit one, at that. She's never given me a prostate or hernia exam, though... I've never had that pleasure. You could say my b'hymen is intact.

Or would that be buhymen?

 

[WinterDeere]

I've always liked the guy, but after seeing this, I think Jay Leno is my new "old age superhero".

 

[Alan46]

I've always liked the guy, but after seeing this, I think Jay Leno is my new "old age superhero".

Being an old drag racer, I’ve seen that video many times!
Way back when, I remember seeing that car in action along with Miss Hurst, Linda Vaugh

 

[WinterDeere]

Being an old drag racer, I’ve seen that video many times!

My FIL actually got a ride in that car, and also a jet powered truck. He was the ranking executive at a large utility company, who used to sponsor various racing events. So when there was an opportunity for a ride along in one of the exhibitions, he usually took it.

But I don’t think his ride was quite as exciting as Jay’s.

 

[Fuddyduddy1952]

I'm thinking Jay Leno paid to have the Hemi repaired.

 

[Sigarms]

Son came home over the weekend.

He got up early Sunday morning and I thought he was having breakfast with us.

His buddy in town 30 minutes away called him because he has a flat tire and needed help to go to his part time job.

Kid apparently comes from a wealthy family (kid wrecked a new 2020 auto, they go and buy him a new 2023 auto) and father and mother are in Charleston SC for the weekend.

I ask my son why he has to go. We'll, his other buddy is sound asleep and won't wake up.

This kid (who has a flat tire) has a older brother, but apparently he doesn't drive because he doesn't like spending money on gas, but he still lives at home.

Apparently new cars are sold now without a spare doughnut tire.

Apparently this kid doesn't have a set of jumper cables or a portable air compressor in his car (but guess who does LOL).

Apparently because this kid drives like a idiot, he's not allowed to drive his mom's Porsche sitting in the garage.

Love my son to death and he's a good friend, but I told him he needs to teach his buddy to be more self sufficient on his own. If his parents have so much money, let them buy the tools the kid needs because this isn't the first time this has happened, but it should be the last time.

I'm just getting older enough that I sound exactly like my grandmother bitching at my parents generation, and my own parents bitching about my generation, and now I'm bitching about my son's generation.