Women

[bcp]

Bruce

 

[Runner]

After 5 pages no has said the secret to marriage is "compromise".
IMHO without compromise there is no long lasting marriage.

Of course there is the, "If mama ain't happy, no one is happy".

I'm going to push back just a teeny little bit on this. After a failed first marriage where everything had to be a compromise, I find that I am MUCH happier in a relationship where we are both easygoing enough, and trusting enough, to be able to just say "OK, if that's what you want that's how it will be". I have confidence in doing that because I KNOW, that the next time, she will reciprocate.

It just feels so much better to me to know that we're doing something that makes her 100% happy instead of 50% and vice versa. There are VERY few things that really make that much difference in life that they have to be negotiated.

It helps that we each recognize certain "domains". As far as I'm concerned, anything inside the house is her choice. As far as she's concerned, anything outside the house is my choice. However, there is no hard and fast "rule". She wants a yellow rose bush by the patio - ya know what, yellow it is. I really want a certain picture on the wall - fine. Because we are each confident that the next time around, the other person will give the same consideration.

So you say, "Fine, but what if my partner ALWAYS has to have things THEIR way?" Well, that's why you date before marriage... and also why you have to be mentally mature enough before marriage to realize that it is a partnership, not a competetion.

 

[dj1701]

I would like to thank everyone who chimed in with all the advise. I sure have been enjoying reading it all, it has cheered me up a bit.

No change on the Homefront, still persona non grata.


They still make these things? Christmas is coming. LOL

 

[MossRoad]

Even better is "Happy spouse, happy house."

Happy wife, happy life.

 

[MossRoad]

Happy orange, happy..... dang.

 

[MossRoad]

Nothing beats a good marriage but it seems the risks are great and plenty of guys have been blindsided…

And plenty of gals, too.

On the other hand, plenty of folks have happy, successful marriages.

I dated my wife for 6 years before we got married.
My mom and dad dated 6 weeks before they got married.

I think the folks that plan an exit strategy before they're even married are just setting up an excuse to leave and probably shouldn't get married in the first place.

 

[shooterdon]

I think the folks that plan an exit strategy before they're even married are just setting up an excuse to leave and probably shouldn't get married in the first place.

You might be right, or you have not lost half of your net worth...yet. A pre-nuptial agreement is not romantic but necessary IMO. Especially if you are older had have amassed some wealth.

If I was to "hitch up" to a woman with a high net worth I would want a pre-nupt to protect her and make it clear her money is not what I am after.

 

[old and tired]

A drinking buddy of mine is looking for a "friend" to hang around with... not marriage. Not much luck, but funny stories.

One of the girls asked, after the no marriage plan, "...then how could I get half your SS??" The date ending shortly after that...

He's been "retired" since his early 40's and "his" money is just that... his!

 

[tradosaurus]

You might be right, or you have not lost half of your net worth...yet. A pre-nuptial agreement is not romantic but necessary IMO. Especially if you are older had have amassed some wealth.

If I was to "hitch up" to a woman with a high net worth I would want a pre-nupt to protect her and make it clear her money is not what I am after.

Also a mandatory DNA test completed at birth of a baby for paternity establishment.

But if I were to marry a high net worth woman that's up to her to provide the pre-nup.

 

[tradosaurus]

And plenty of gals, too.

On the other hand, plenty of folks have happy, successful marriages.

I dated my wife for 6 years before we got married.
My mom and dad dated 6 weeks before they got married.

I think the folks that plan an exit strategy before they're even married are just setting up an excuse to leave and probably shouldn't get married in the first place.

People of the WW2 generation and before married quickly to avoid knocking up a woman outside of marriage. Fornication use to be frowned upon.
I should have married my wife within 6 months instead of 2 years if you get my drift.