The thing with comparisons like this is that most people go with the anecdotal evidence rather than statistics. Here are some made up numbers to illustrate. The real data says the Highlander is more reliable by a wide margin. So, lets say 10% of the Highlanders break down and 40% of the Pilots break down. That still means that 60% of the Pilot drivers will report no significant problems. It also means that you have less than a 50% chance of yours breaking down. Once you choose it, unless yours is one that breaks down, you see the things you like and confirmation bias sets in. I sincerely hope all goes well with her purchase. My personal bias is toward the measurable data. I care very little about the appearance, or even the 'feel'.