I too have both a .45acp and a .40s&w. Even though they both leave large holes in targets, I give the advantage to the .45 acp. It is a slow moving powerful round that will push through taking anything it hit and pushing it back.( hit and arm and its gone). While the .40 s&w has great number it does not have the weight behind it to do the same damage the 45 can. Oh don't get me wrong it will kill and hurt someone but it will not destroy the target like the .45 does.
Okuma, the things you are saying are simply not backed up by evidence. The idea that a bullet can "knock back" a person, or a part of a person's body, is, by and large, a myth. It's true that there is a difference between a slow, heavy bullet and fast, light bullet. Kinetic energy equals mass times velocity squared. Momentum equals mass times velocity. Therefore, a light bullet can easily make up kinetic energy by adding a small amount of velocity (since velocity is squared in the kinetic energy formula), but it can't make up momentum very easily at all. Their additional momentum means that heavier bullets do better at penetrating obstacles without being deflected. But when it comes to soft targets like humans, momentum is pretty irrelevant, because all bullets are going to easily penetrate flesh. In short, a bullet can't "knock back" a person or a part of a person, because the bullet simply penetrates. In addition, the actual kinetic energy of a bullet is relatively low (approximately equal to being knocked over by a baseball); it's just that it's all delivered in a very short period of time, in a small area/volume.
As a final illustration of why bullets can't/don't knock people or parts of people back, consider Newton's 2nd law. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If bullets carried enough kinetic energy to knock people over, then you would be knocked over every time you fired the gun. But that doesn't happen. In fact, you can probably hold a gun out sideways, with a terrible stance, and a limp wrist, and still fire it and not have your arm or hand be significantly deflected. Oh, you won't hit much, but you sure won't be "knocked back".
IMO, one other difference that velocity makes is the likelihood of hollowpoint rounds expanding. If you're shooting ball ammo, then IMO, it's kinetic energy and shot placement that matter. From that perspective, .40 and .45 are pretty comparable, since they have comparable kinetic energy. But I would give the advantage to .40 if you're shooting hollowpoints, because I think the faster-moving rounds are going to be more likely to expand when they hit, all else being equal. And once these rounds expand, I don't think there is actually much difference between .40 and .45. Frankly, I don't think there's that much difference between 9mm, .40, and .45, if you're shooting hollowpoints.