Mike_Dumond
Gold Member
A friend just sent me this. It's a little funny and a little true. (Edited for content/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif):
We know the current affairs of our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join my military. Even though your intentions are good, and you may very possibly make it into the service, there are some things we need to clear up/get straight first before we even consider
you:
1) Next time you see someone (an adult) talking during the playing/singing of the National Anthem.....kick their butt.
2) When you witness firsthand someone burning my American Flag in protest...kick their butt. If you see this on television, as many of us have, you are simply required to have a deep burning suddenly arise inside of you....then go and kick their butt. Our Fore-Fathers didn't intend freedom of speech to be the "get out of jail free" card for an act of a traitor.
3) Regardless of the rank they maintained while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all Veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while the Veteran kicks their butt.
4) If you are not in the military, DO NOT pretend that you are. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU's), telling others that you used to be "Special Forces". Collecting GI Joe memorabilia might have been okay if you were still seven, but now it will only get your butt kicked. (Veterans are exempt from this rule)
5) If you witness someone calling an enlisted Marine "Sir", stand back.....a Marine will kick their butt.
6) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them "Do you fly a jet?". You are ignorant if you ask this. A Marine will be called to kick your butt. (children are exempt)
7) Roseanne Barr's singing of the National Anthem is not a blooper....it was a disgrace and disrespectful. Laugh at it and sooner or later your butt will be kicked.
8) Next time Old Glory prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her and the military member or Veteran lucky enough to carry her. Your stupid funnel cake will forgive you if you stand for 5 minutes with your hand over your heart. You might as well be
throwing the funnel cake at the flag if you don't stand.....of course, either will earn you a severe butt kicking.
9) What Jane Fonda did about Vietnam makes her the enemy....hate her or else. (your butt will be kicked)
10) Don't try to discuss politics to a military member. We might vote as separate parties, but that doesn't mean we don't all bleed the same. We are, simply put, Americans. Our military Chain of Command, to include our Commander in Chief...the President... (for those who didn't know) is all that we acknowledge. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those "representatives" meet. The military member might direct you to Oliver North. I can see him kicking your butt already.
11) "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me....stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely kick you in the butt with them!
12) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not communists. So stop saying, "Let's go kill those Commie's!!!" And stop asking us where he is!!!! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me......if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know so I can kick their butt.
13) Last but not least, whether or not you become a member of my military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas that you enjoy with family and friends, there are thousands of troops overseas longing for just a taste of homemade pumpkin pie or fresh egg-nog and turkey. Wanting for just one hug on a Christmas morning from a loved one. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they are making every day. Without them, our country would get its butt kicked.
Oh yeah, and one last thing. When you serve our country you do so before serving yourself. If you show up in our ranks and wonder what we will do for you today, instead of what you can do for us, then guess what? Yep, we'll kick your butt and then send you back to your mommy and daddy.
ANY QUESTIONS!?!?!?!?!?
Keep the greasy side down.
Mike
We know the current affairs of our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join my military. Even though your intentions are good, and you may very possibly make it into the service, there are some things we need to clear up/get straight first before we even consider
you:
1) Next time you see someone (an adult) talking during the playing/singing of the National Anthem.....kick their butt.
2) When you witness firsthand someone burning my American Flag in protest...kick their butt. If you see this on television, as many of us have, you are simply required to have a deep burning suddenly arise inside of you....then go and kick their butt. Our Fore-Fathers didn't intend freedom of speech to be the "get out of jail free" card for an act of a traitor.
3) Regardless of the rank they maintained while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all Veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while the Veteran kicks their butt.
4) If you are not in the military, DO NOT pretend that you are. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU's), telling others that you used to be "Special Forces". Collecting GI Joe memorabilia might have been okay if you were still seven, but now it will only get your butt kicked. (Veterans are exempt from this rule)
5) If you witness someone calling an enlisted Marine "Sir", stand back.....a Marine will kick their butt.
6) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them "Do you fly a jet?". You are ignorant if you ask this. A Marine will be called to kick your butt. (children are exempt)
7) Roseanne Barr's singing of the National Anthem is not a blooper....it was a disgrace and disrespectful. Laugh at it and sooner or later your butt will be kicked.
8) Next time Old Glory prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her and the military member or Veteran lucky enough to carry her. Your stupid funnel cake will forgive you if you stand for 5 minutes with your hand over your heart. You might as well be
throwing the funnel cake at the flag if you don't stand.....of course, either will earn you a severe butt kicking.
9) What Jane Fonda did about Vietnam makes her the enemy....hate her or else. (your butt will be kicked)
10) Don't try to discuss politics to a military member. We might vote as separate parties, but that doesn't mean we don't all bleed the same. We are, simply put, Americans. Our military Chain of Command, to include our Commander in Chief...the President... (for those who didn't know) is all that we acknowledge. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those "representatives" meet. The military member might direct you to Oliver North. I can see him kicking your butt already.
11) "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me....stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely kick you in the butt with them!
12) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not communists. So stop saying, "Let's go kill those Commie's!!!" And stop asking us where he is!!!! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me......if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know so I can kick their butt.
13) Last but not least, whether or not you become a member of my military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas that you enjoy with family and friends, there are thousands of troops overseas longing for just a taste of homemade pumpkin pie or fresh egg-nog and turkey. Wanting for just one hug on a Christmas morning from a loved one. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they are making every day. Without them, our country would get its butt kicked.
Oh yeah, and one last thing. When you serve our country you do so before serving yourself. If you show up in our ranks and wonder what we will do for you today, instead of what you can do for us, then guess what? Yep, we'll kick your butt and then send you back to your mommy and daddy.
ANY QUESTIONS!?!?!?!?!?
Keep the greasy side down.
Mike