A Wake Up Call

[RSKY]

Had a situation develop....bear with me, takes a little telling to make my point.

This is for you guys who are retired or getting close to retirement age. And for you guys with children and grandchildren. For you gals too but it is 99% male on this site.

My wife and I were talking about our annual fall break vacation. For the past 5 years we have gone to Hilton Head Island for the first week or two in October. With a teacher daughter and one grand in school it is the only time we can go in the fall. Daughters and families come down and we have a good time eating seafood and playing on the beach. Very enjoyable times watching the kids and grandkids.

Anyway we decided to go somewhere different this year and Gulf Shores Alabama is also within a day's drive and the temps are 4-5 degrees warmer than Hilton Head in October. So we planned to spend a week or so there. While looking thru VRBO we found a house, on the beach, four bedrooms and three baths, no pool. A month was very little more than two weeks. Looked at it online for a couple days and couldn't make up my mind. Saw a friend and was talking to him about something else and mentioned we might be gone in October. "Why are you throwing money away on that," he asked me? "You could make a down payment on a new car for what it will cost you to spend a week there! He11, get an inflatable pool and let the kids play around it in the back yard!"

Hmmm,.....down payment on a new car. Was this vacation a waste of money?

But he is divorced and never sees his kids or grandkids.

Anyway, my wife and I talked about it and couldn't make up our minds. Finally called and got the place for a month. Nice place but we are not rich. Serious hit on the bank account.

Two hours after I paid for the month in the vacation house my mother called. One of my cousins, four years younger than me, had fell over dead from a heart attack.

No warnings. Sitting talking, fell over dead.

He and his wife had retired from their jobs the first of June. They had money saved up, were gonna travel some, them move to Florida and live the good life.

He had eleven weeks of retirement.

Got me to thinking. In thirty years I will probably be gone. What would be more important, having a new car (or at least a good down payment on one) or my grandkids having the memories of playing in the sand during the day and chasing crabs on the beach at night with granddaddy and granna there with them? Would my daughters remember a new car or would they remember Mom and Dad taking them and their families for a week or more on the beach. I know how hard it is for a young couple with children to come up with the funds to take a vacation.

No choice at all!!

People, build memories with your kids and grandkids. Be a positive influence, take them places, teach them things.

I guess what I'm trying to say is spend your money on memories, not things. Things can be replaced, memories cannot.

Climbing off my soapbox.

RSKY

 

[polo1665]

Good call. I like your attitude. :thumbsup:

 

[downsizingnow48]

Years ago we rented a beach house and had my mother in law and her best pal come stay with us and the kids for a week. Some of our very best family memories.

 

[mark02tj]

Agree - make the memories!!

When I was married, my now-ex-wife rarely wanted to go anywhere. Before we were married, she claimed that she liked to go on vacation but afterwards... oh, well. We only went on a couple of family vacations. Whenever I suggested that we go somewhere her response was something like "if we can afford to do that, we can afford to do ___________ to the house" (or get a new car or something similar). My parents liked to travel and would often take my daughters places. My oldest went on a 3+ week trip out west to Yellow Stone, etc. She still has great memories of doing that in my parent's motor home.

My current much better half loves the beach and we go every year in the fall. It's something we look forward to and, even though it's a hit on the wallet, we make it work.

A good friend of mine (we've known each other since we were 16) has a cushy federal job. He makes right at $100k per year, no overtime and somewhere around 6 weeks of vacation, plus the 11 (or is it 13?) Federal Holidays. He's very frugal and has saved a lot of money and will have his post-divorce house paid off in another 5 years or so. When his kids were smaller, they never went on vacation in spite of his now-ex-wife wanting to go places. His excuse was that they needed to save for retirement. The only family "vacations" they went on were either out to LA to see his brother or to St. Augustine to stay in his sister's timeshare. He did take his wife to a couple of nice destinations like London, but that was only because he was traveling there for work and the Federal Government picked up his airfare, hotel, etc. She finally got tired of it and filed for divorce. He now has a nest egg but will never enjoy it. He took his kids on a trip a few weeks ago (to visit his brother AGAIN!) and they spent a couple of days in Vegas. He was telling me how angry he got out there over the fact that his kids wanted to go to some organic restaurant with super high prices and super small portions. He'll never figure it out.

My feeling is that money is a tool that you use to enjoy life. I'm certainly not advocating that you spend like a drunken sailor and never save for the future, but I do think there's a happy medium in there somewhere. So I agree 100% that the memories the grandkids will have with you are things that they'll remember for all their lives and will hopefully affect them, positively, once they have kids. And, since you and the little lady have the place for a month, you get some nice romantic alone time in a beach house! You can't beat that either!!

 

[dusty3030]

Aint no luggage rack on a hearse.
Time lost with your family you can never get back.

 

[TripleR]

I'll take the memories anytime.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Keep in mind, there is a window, health wise for doing what you want to do. What you can do at 65 or 70, you may not be able to do at 80 or 90...and that includes something as simple as wading in the ocean at Megan's Beach in St. Thomas USVI (man, how I love that beach!).

 

[RSKY]

Found out yesterday that one friend is flying down to spend a week while the oldest daughter is there. Another friend is coming to stay a while the second week when youngest daughter there. Her granddaughters are in a volleyball tournament in Gulf Shores and we have stayed for a week in one of their condos. Think another couple will come spend the last week with us.

Strange thing is I have a doctor's appointment on the 20th. So we will leave Gulf Shores on the 19th, spend the night at home and go to the doctor the next day. Then mow our yard and the two others I've somehow become responsible for. Spend the next two days, 21st and 22nd, bush hogging two farms. Leave on the 23rd to drive to Columbus Ohio for a wedding on the 24th. Leave on the 25th and drive back to Gulf Shores. Stopping in Lexington, KY for a couple hours to see a new great niece/nephew.

Takes three months to get an appointment with my knee doctor. He is that good! So I hate to change the appointment.

Farms aren't supposed to be mowed until after October 1st. But maybe,......hmmm,.....a few days early won't hurt. So if I rearrange the doctor's visit and mow a little early we can leave Alabama on 23rd, attend wedding on 24th, drive to Lexington after the wedding, see the new baby and drive the nine hours back to Gulf Shores on the 25th.

We'll need another vacation after that!

I have got some serious rearranging to do!!!!

Oh well, life goes on.

RSKY

 

[RSKY]

No luggage rack on a hearse!!

I've gotta remember that one.

RSKY

 

[Daver1963]

I was just in Gulf Shores a couple of weeks ago. There are many things to do and the beaches are wonderful. There were 11 of us (me, wife, two sisters, spouse, their kids) and it was fun.
If you're going for seafood might I suggest (in no particular order):
Desoto's Seafood Kitchen
Gulf Island Grill
The Steamer
Live Bait
The Original Oyster House

 

[RSKY]

Wow, thanks for the info. It seems like the more you kids you have along the more fun you have.

 

[dmccarty]

Aint no luggage rack on a hearse.
Time lost with your family you can never get back.

No luggage rack on a hearse!!

I've gotta remember that one.

RSKY

Yeah, that is a good one. I have been thinking and saying for year, that if I am lucky enough to die in bed and be able to look back on my life, I won't be thinking about how I wished I had worked that extra hour or had saved that extra dime.... Saying there is no luggage rack on a hearse is much easier. :thumbsup::laughing::laughing::laughing:

One coworker who was in great shape, ate right, ran, did all of the right things, dropped dead at the start of a job one Saturday. He was dead before he hit the ground. It was a shock to every one because there was no warning and he was in great shape. Another coworker's wife dropped dead going for a walk with her father. Bam. Gone. Two other friends got sick but had months/years to live before the illness caught up with them, but they both died earlier than expected. One of the college kids we had working for us went back to school and died. We still don't know how. Just gone.

You
Just
Don't
Know.

We have spent quite a bit of money on family vacations. I hope they were enough to provide good memories to the kids. :confused3: We could have paid off some bills with the cost of those vacations but memories are far more important. <clear throat> "There is no luggage rack on a hearse."

The wifey wants to travel, and always has, but if I travel I want to stay in one place for a while to get to know the location and people. Seeing 10 European capitals in 14 days sounds like a trip to he.. but if I could stay in one place for 14 weeks, well then we are into something. :laughing: We are seriously thinking of selling everything, including the dream home on our dream land to buy/build a boat and travel. At this point, I am actually seriously reconsidering building the danged boat myself. :shocked: While this sounds crazy, there are some very sound reasons to do it this way. The goal is to travel by boat but we have multiple plans on how and when to get there. The reality is one can drop dead at any time, or worse, get a serious illness, but we would rather try and fail than never try.

If I do manage to have a death bed, I KNOW I would look back wishing we had tried to get a boat so we will try. It might work out, or it might not, but we will TRY. I heard some guy say, "There is no luggage rack on a hearse...."

Later,
Dan

 

[Gale Hawkins]

My son did a trade show with me this past Sun/Mon but his twin sister was working and did not come this time.

They turn 18 next month and surprise me quite often.

He was driving us back Monday evening in the 2002 Dodge Ram we fixed up for him from IL and said many people miss life because they are busy preparing for the future that never comes as planned. His point we can only live in the present and not the past or future.

When I was 18 I doubt the thought ever entered my head. I seem to move between past and future and tend to skip the present. Gotta work on that mistake. We are taught to give no thought to tomorrow by some teachers. I guess the key is to live in the present fully yet giving thought to tomorrow.

If family you have not seen for 10 years drop in as you are leaving to shop for a new tractor for the future I guess you shop for the future another day.

 

[sseelhoff]

What kind of car?

 

[Redneck in training]

When our kids were young we would go to Colorado or Minnesota camping for vacation. We always took their friends (or a couple for each of them) with us. They would entertain themselves, build lasting friendships and have memories they talk about till today. And we had great and fun vacation. Some of our kid's friends almost 20 years later still call my wife mom Juls (Julie). It was money well spent.

 

[sodamo]

Good call, RSKY. Build memories.
That's been our summer as well, our trip to AZ in Jun was all about family and doing things. We rented a house via VRBO that slept 10.
We brought our 9 yo granddaughter and her 8 yo cousin back to Hawaii. The cousin stayed 3 weeks, granddaughter is here until Labor Day.
Hopefully, many of their memories were captured on the iPhone and pics printed for each to build their own scrapbook. Just today, another discussion triggered me to search through some old pics. I happened on granddaughter's very first visit when she was 8 months old, and then another couple hundred pics from her summer visit 2 years ago.
One of my primary reasons for remodeling our cottage is to place it in a vacation/home exchange program so when our granddaughter is a bit older we can take our granddaughter and travel interesting places she might not otherwise experience.

Not only does the hearse not have luggage racks, it doesn't do slideshows.

David Sent from my iPad Air using TractorByNet

 

[fishheadbob]

Some beautiful thoughts running in this thread. All I have left of one kid is memories and his two sons. I'm glad we did a lot of cool things with him when we had the chance, and this is a good reminder to do neat things with the the other one. No big deal if she inherits less money when we croak as it's more important to have great memories.
Thanks for the wake up / reminder.

 

[Mysfyt]

Money=security
Memories make you rich

 

[jimmyj]

Life is so short. Once people are gone they're gone forever, so time spent is worth a lot more than material things.

 

[brown40]

When the oldest of the old--the folks old enough to need Long-Term Care--80's, 90's, 100's--are asked about "should'ves", there's a few common threads that run:

Wish I'd spent more time with my very young, back when they were.
Wish I hadn't worried so much about money.
Wish I'd traveled more.

You only go through once, and if you manage to get old enough to not be able to do, its the experiences that left lasting memories that bring the most satisfaction and regret. Eat and drink what you like. Do what calls to you whenever you can, live in the moments, and love the people you do like it's your last opportunity--you never know if it is. Make the moments happy ones.