Adoption question

   / Adoption question #11  
There's the rub..."they" can ask any darn thing they want to unless the visit is recorded.....and if you do that you will have lost their favor to start with. The primary issue is that the home study (or studies) will contain so much subjective material that there is PLENTY of room for the writer to insert their feelings/opinions without it directly appearing to be feelings/opinions. And yes, it is likely they will go through your entire house/property maybe even outbuildings to determine they are "safe" for children....despite that fact that the dotgov still allows our kids to be taken to school in deathtraps with no seat belts or air bags, and bare metal rails on the backs of the seats.

Just try to get a feel for the person coming out each time (and you may see several different people, at least as things work here), and be appropriately submissive. ;)
 
   / Adoption question #12  
An old boss of mine contacted me about closing in an area under a staircase. The area was being used as a catch all, and he wanted it secure. I cut and fitted, then welded 3/16" plate to make a steel box inside it, and he purchased a bunch of that "hardy board" to line it prior to me welding in the house. I was nervous as a cat on a tin roof till that job got finished. Sure worried about burning the house down, so I welded every piece I could outside before hauling it in. We purchased an old vault door (1" thick) and he had a walk in gun safe. Sure made a nice one. He passed away, wife sold the house, and the new owner tore it out so she could put a wash bowl on a wooden stand under the staircase. Talk about a waste!!!
All that just to say that instead of buying another safe, consider building one in a seldom used area in your house.
David from jax
 
   / Adoption question #13  
My daughter is adopted from China. I don't remember anything related to firearms on the questionaires. We had to jump through endless hoops though.

Some of these social workers create a reality all their own. In the questionaire and autobiography, the woman doing our home study discovered that my father had disciplined me by whipping me with a belt. I truthfully answered her follow up questions, revealing that he had whipped me hard enough to draw welps and blood, and had also hit me. This social worker was not a direct employee of the adoption agency, but held a MSW and was privately contracted to do home studies. Despite the fact that I had 20 years of teaching experience, 10 of which were with elementary children, and had worked with preschoolers for a summer while directing a daycamp for a city rec. dept., and had numerous letters of recommendation from fellow teachers and principals, this woman was convinced that "People who were abused by their own parents, also abuse their own children, therefore you are not qualified to be a parent." She was going to recommend against us based solely on this one issue (my wife is an elementary teacher too). I had to schedule a meeting with the director of the agency, and remind her that in our country, individuals are judged on their own merit, not by the "sins of their fathers". I told her that the social worker was brainwashed with modern psychology's notion of "victimization": that as a victim, I was predestined to be like my father. I told her that I did not see myself as a victim and practiced individual responsibility: I am responsible for my own actions and I decided to be different than my parents and lived in a very happy marriage, behaving responsibly-completely different than my parents. I went on to say that with my record as a teacher, and with American jurisprudence being based solely on the actions of the individual, I knew that if I had to resort to litigation regarding the issue, the agency would easily lose any lawsuit I brought against them. The agency agreed with us hands down. If my wife and I had not had excellent long track records as teachers, however, who knows. Things shouldn't be this way.

So you never know what any one social worker might have in his/her head as a prejudice against you. I gave up my guns long ago, but gun owning is a constitutional right and people should not be judged as falling short when the lives they lead are in compliance with the law. It could be possible that you get a s.w. who grew up in the country and doesn't care at all about guns. Our s.w. had no qualms with our adoption being inter-racial, but there are other s.w.s who might see it as a big issue. As was said earlier, be truthful, but don't give anything more than the basic facts. Don't offer unnecessary tidbits that could be bait for a fishing expedition. I would not encourage threatning lawsuits unless that is the last resort as it was for us. And if you have to, make sure you do it in a way that shows your logic and also shows that you consider it a last resort that you'd really prefer not to carry out.
 
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   / Adoption question #14  
OK I may have a solution. I'll trade you my teenager and the one next door for a floor model gun safe in any condition. I will deliver the two kids and pick up the safe. If there is some way we can keep them from ever finding their way home I pay for that too. Thanks in advance.:cool:
 
   / Adoption question
  • Thread Starter
#15  
Sandman, you’ve given me something to think about.

Shaley, apologies, I think I’ll pass on your offer:)

Tom, appreciate the feedback, you bring up some points that I had already thought about.

Fact is, if someone is in my house, they have no right to know what is in my safes (IMO). Being honest, if asked what’s in the safes, I’d just say “guns, paperwork and expensive items”. To me, that is the only answer I should have to give. Honestly, if someone were to ask me to open the safe (other than LE that may be conducting a search with a warrant), my honest opinion is to tell the person asking to get out of my house and never come back (because they have no right to ask in the first place).

You also bring up another point about experiences with discipline. For myself, my father had a saying that I will never forget. By chance if I were being punished physically, he would say “You can take this one of two ways. You can stand there and take it like a man, or you can run around like a chicken with your head cut off. Either way, you’re going to get it”. This didn’t happen often, but when it did, I deserved it. Funny now that I look upon that discipline with fond memories (usually being chased by my father with my grandfather’s HUGE coal miner’s leather belt). Mom passed away some time ago, I love my father dearly to the point that when we bought the house, he could move in with us and have his own place down in the furnished basement. My point being that although some people may consider his form of discipline as being “harsh”, I don’t (on a side note, my dad is only 5’3”, 115 lbs soaking wet, even to this day at 75 years of age. However, after he spent 25 years in the service, and later finding out that he took up the martial arts while stationed in Korea, I found out very early in my life that it’s not the size of the man in the fight).

If I ever have children, I could only hope to have the relationship with them as I do with my father.

Fact is, I guess I’m afraid that if I’m honest, it could be held against me. Worse yet, it could be held against the woman I married. Then again, perhaps I could be worried over nothing.

I appreciate the comments.
 
   / Adoption question #16  
Passively not giving someone information, particularly information which you firmly believe they have no ethical or legal right to have, is not the same as lying or even being dishonest. At least that's the case in my book of ethics. By the same value system, I believe that failing to actively give someone information which might help them avoid harm is unethical (though I realize this last position has nothing whatsoever to do with the discussion...it just seemed like a natural segue to me :rolleyes:).

Just understand that you will be involved with various professions whose members tend to have viewpoints about certain things that are oppositional to the viewpoint you (and I) have about those things.....and that said persons also tend to talk about diversity but actually have extremely low tolerance for opinions diverse from their own. You'll know pretty quickly and pretty clearly early on who you're dealing with, IMO....just listen more than talking initially, and be "prudent". I personally would love to see more children raised in homes where personal responsibility is a value. Just do what you can to avoid any confrontation....being able to enjoy the blessings of having children and participate in the responsibility and joy of shaping a life are worth far more than winning any philosophical point with some bureaucrat.

And Shaley, the post was funny, but.....I really need some extra labor, have several freezers full (yes, I DO know how much teens eat), and have a safe I could spare. Can they be worked hard, or will they sit down on me after 14-16 hours?;)
 
   / Adoption question #17  
LMTC said:
And Shaley, the post was funny, but.....I really need some extra labor, have several freezers full (yes, I DO know how much teens eat), and have a safe I could spare. Can they be worked hard, or will they sit down on me after 14-16 hours?;)


LMTC, you have a small typo there at the end, that last word is spelled.


SECONDS;)
 
   / Adoption question #18  
I don't have the luxury of being able to tell a law enforcement agent to take a hike, even if he doesn't have a warrant. I signed that right away when I signed up for class III weapons. They have the signed permission to waltz up to my door at any time and demand to see them, and I have to show them to them. However, nobody has the combination to that safe, so I have to be home in order for them to get anywhere with a surprise visit. In fact, it is illegal for anyone else to have acess to them when not in my presence.
However you decide to handle the storage of your firearms, good luck with it and hopefully you won't have any trouble out of the adoption people.
David from jax
 
   / Adoption question
  • Thread Starter
#19  
A happy ending to a zombie threat;)

epilogue.jpg

It was well worth the journey.
 
   / Adoption question #20  
Congratulations!

2 questions...

Both yours?
Has it really been 7 years to make it happen, or did you just forget about this thread?
 

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