Anyone ever use a Life Coach?

[riptides]

Airbiscuit touched on self-awareness. That is the first step.

The next step in my opinion would be to seek out professional medical time with therapists. Both physical and mental. I think your "next step", transitioning to retirement is weighing heavily on you as your physical self reminded you earlier this year. Then, perhaps a business consultant to collaborate new ideas for your next few years.

Good luck, good health, and I hope a good plan with purpose and success comes to you, shortly,

 

[Hay Dude]

I like what r!ppy says, but before you drop vast sums of your hard earned money on therapists, there’s a free “therapist” waiting for you to take his love and guidance. In return, you give him yourself.
Trust me, it works. Jesus Saves.
Really and truly.

One other thought: Have you tried walking? I walk with my wife and although we are both beat up from college sports decades ago, we find it soothes the soul. Most doctors will tell you it brings the heart rate up a bit for 3 miles and that’s just enough.

 

[Omega Woods]

I started rowing for 20 minutes in the morning, followed by a cold shower (check YouTube for Andrew Huberman) and taking vitamin D3 every day. Those things helped me tremendously.

You're running yourself ragged with your business and you've already diagnosed your problem better that any "life coach" could. If you're a 57 year old business owner, you probably could BE a life coach better than most so try and objectively identify what your issues are (which you've pretty much already done) and work through them.

Travel less, even if it costs you money. Hire someone else to fix your website. Spend time in nature. Go to Sunday School and make some new friends. Be a business coach and mentor to a young business person trying to figure out how to get their thing started.

You know what you need to do, deep down. You have permission to make that change.

 

[ddbackhoe]

I like what r!ppy says, but before you drop vast sums of your hard earned money on therapists, there’s a free “therapist” waiting for you to take his love and guidance. In return, you give him yourself.
Trust me, it works. Jesus Saves.
Really and truly.

One other thought: Have you tried walking? I walk with my wife and although we are both beat up from college sports decades ago, we find it soothes the soul. Most doctors will tell you it brings the heart rate up a bit for 3 miles and that’s just enough.

“pastoral care” is a term often overlooked in our communities. Some of them are pretty good life coaches. As with all professions some are more engaging than others, don’t be afraid to look around til you find one you like.
Simple to-do lists can be wonderful things. I update mine in the evening after I give myself 5-10 minutes of decompress time.
Subcontracting tasks can be an amazing burden lifter.
Hiring good staff is important, making them feel needed and trusted is even better. Years ago I had a boss that everyday would slap you on the back and either say good job or we need to talk. I always knew where I stood with him. That little thing has stayed with me and I’ve tried to do the same with my personal and business contacts.

 

[mikester]

 

[BlueKnife]

Anyone ever use a life coach or have some suggestions?

Never used one, but I know one. She's a nut case whose life is very much not in order, yet her job is telling other people how to run theirs. Probably not particularly helpful for you, just a cautionary anecdote. Not going to get into it extensively, but do some reading on stoicism.

 

[pmsmechanic]

I've watched a few of my friends transition into retirement. What I've seen is that the happiest most content ones have an evangelical faith and a church group that they belong too. They also have a hobby. Something to do to relax and have fun with. You still have time. Start working on a hobby now instead of waiting and then in your later years you just sit around and do nothing.

 

[Yander]

Me and wellbutrin don't get along Lexapro worked much better for me when I quit smoking.

Currently take Prozac every other day to keep the squirrel cage from spinning all night long.

I'm one of the people that has a bad reaction to wellbutrin. Day one and two I was fine. Day 3 I was mad at the world.

I finally had to explain to my wife I was having a bad reaction to the wellbutrin. And then locked myself in the guest room for the night.

I was absolutely furious that my wife was breathing in the same room as me I mean really!! How dare she breath the same air as me!!!!

I quit taking it. Blew up my doctors office. Told the nurse I didn't care what they gave me as long as they keep me married and employed

Doctors nurse called me back a couple hours later and told me they sent a prescription for Lexapro into the pharmacy

Lol, I read that mood change was a side affect until you get used to it and it took me two months to get used to it. I was a real PITA for a while. It then leveled out and it actually helped me be much less uptight.

I suppose everyone reacts differently.

 

[Dftodd]

Lol, I read that mood change was a side affect until you get used to it and it took me two months to get used to it. I was a real PITA for a while. It then leveled out and it actually helped me be much less uptight.

I suppose everyone reacts differently.

I would have been fired and divorced before ever becoming used to it. Or had a heart attack or stroke.

I was absolutely furious for no reason. Couldn't settle down, and couldn't sleep.

Wife knew as soon as the Lexapro kicked in. I was sawing logs in my recliner

 

[Lineman North Florida]

My life coach was my dad, and he sent me to B.E. Holder's school of hard knock's, L will admit I didn't understand sometimes why he was as tough on me as he was when I was younger but I do today and will always be thankful for the life lesson's that he taught me. In 6 days he will have been gone 8 years and I find myself doing and saying the same things that he used to do and say, my wife says that I act just like him. These days I try to get most of my guidance from the Lord our God Jesus Christ, he helps keep me on the straight and narrow.

 

[Yander]

The way it should work.

 

[Hay Dude]

My life coach was my dad, and he sent me to B.E. Holder's school of hard knock's, L will admit I didn't understand sometimes why he was as tough on me as he was when I was younger but I do today and will always be thankful for the life lesson's that he taught me. In 6 days he will have been gone 8 years and I find myself doing and saying the same things that he used to do and say, my wife says that I act just like him. These days I try to get most of my guidance from the Lord our God Jesus Christ, he helps keep me on the straight and narrow.

Yep, so true. Once, or should I say “if” this nation ever turns back to the teachings of God instead of greed, vanity, jealousy, perversion, lies and contempt for one another, we may have a chance.

Far as the mood altering drugs go, I have never taken any and never will. If I have anger, I go into the basement and lift weights or go work it off somehow, or go to a place of serenity and let that take care of it. No judgement, for those who do. I believe in freedom within the boundaries of morality and the law

 

[Lineman North Florida]

Yep, so true. Once, or should I say “if” this nation ever turns back to the teachings of God instead of greed, vanity, jealousy, perversion, lies and contempt for one another, we may have a chance.

Far as the mood altering drugs go, I have never taken any and never will. If I have anger, I go into the basement and lift weights or go work it off somehow, or go to a place of serenity and let that take care of it. No judgement, for those who do. I believe in freedom within the boundaries of morality and the law

I have been fortunate on the mood drugs, never have needed them, always seemed to have to many people counting on me to slow down long enough to realize that I had problems LOL , truth is when I catch myself feeling a little sorry for myself or aggravated because things don't seem to be going right I just take a look around at other people and their problems and realize how blessed that I am, I hope my luck holds out as the only medicine that I take is either Advil, BC or Goody's powder.
And yes as a nation we have turned away from God and it shows.

 

[airbiscuit]

 

[ultrarunner]

Lots of stoned people on the streets ranting or having long conversations with no one.

Some are very aggressive and some get physical.

I have no idea if it ties into lax to no drug enforcement... seems only DUI gets enforced but it is profitable... not do much for the guy with a shopping cart getting cited.

It could explain a lot because those I know basically loose motivation and drive beyond the moment.

 

[3930dave]

No direct contact with a Life Coach, but noted a close friend's comments...... within his extended family, someone who had a significant issue going on, came to him for ongoing advice. Since the foundation issue was totally outside his realm of expertise, or even experience, my friend found the Life Coach rounds of discussion re. How To __________ with the subject problem useful.

Doctors, Life Coaches, Mechanics....... Good, Mediocre, Bad..... ymmv, depending on the actual case at hand.

Somebody in this thread mentioned Huberman. I only stumbled across him recently, via Jocko Willink. (I posted an extensive Huberman JW interview over in .... We might make it ..... thread earlier).

Hits on it in that ^ long podcast, Dopamine is a big deal, for all of us, re. Motivation/Engagement.

I plan on going through more Huberman material - understanding my own head is one factor, but I also have a close friend who went through a major medical event about a year and a half ago, who could definitely benefit from the Neuro knowledge Huberman covers.

This is the latest AH vid I'm working through:

We don't come with a Body, Owner's Manual (not that real men read them ), but we will watch videos !

Burn-out is no fun..... many/most/all of us have been there, best of luck with Changes.

(May have been done recently, if not, get full bloodwork done to rule out a physical issue. Used Oil Analysis, for the most expensive Engine we own.....)

Rgds, D.

 

[ddbackhoe]

Sometimes, a case of beer, a bbq grill and a few good friends does a great job.

 

[EddieWalker]

For me, I work so I can afford my farm. Work is just a part of my day that doesn't have a lot of importance to me. What matters is that my wife, my parents and my animals are good, and then what can I get done on my farm. That motivation keeps me going and excited to see what happens next. The farm is always evolving and getting better. It's never ending, so I always have projects to figure out.

As a Contractor, I've worked for quite a few Counselors, Doctors and other health experts. I can only think of a few that are not alcoholics, horrible slobs, horrible parents, and unable to function with people outside of work. Lock themselves in a room when they get home, and their wives keep the kids quiet until he comes out. One has written several books, but she is in another relationship every three months. I've never met an expert that I would take seriously on how to live a better life.

Having said that, my wife knows a lady that she feels is a very good life coach. I always focus on the negative on these people, and I know what her issues are, but that doesn't mean she can't help you out. Text me if you want her contact information.

Karen just told me that people who have had heart attacks are almost 40% more likely to suffer from depression and commit suicide.

 

[ultrarunner]

I know a relationship coach and author who has done real well and offers consulting to therapist would be coaches on how to build your practice…

I was in his first wedding and now on wife 3 with kids along the way…

He does have a forward in one of his books about his three marriages spinning it so as not having to make the mistakes he did…

I guess all a matter of prospective?

 

[dmccarty]

I've been in a funk lately and I'm trying to get myself back on track. I'm not depressed, just sort of at a crossroads of options and trying to figure out how to jump start my motivation.

Last year was a record year for my business, but the travel took a toll on me with over 265 days in hotels. It was hard, stressful and ultimately lead to a cardiac scare that turned out to be stress/diet/lifestyle induced. The weird part is you get addicted to the cycle of stress and the victory of overcoming crappy situations/problems.

This year, work started slow, which was fine for me at first, but I think the idle hands/mind are something that's beginning to grate on me. I started out the year exercising, losing 20+ lbs, eating healthy and getting ready for our family vacation to Africa a few weeks ago. Now that the vacation is over, I need to get rolling again, but my motivation is now non-existent. I think part of it is I'm afraid I'll get myself right back into the same stress/overworked predicament I was into last year.

But there are definitely some things I need to do. I need to get working on my company website so I can court some new customers, broaden my customer base, giving me some more stability and allowing me to be pickier on the type of jobs I take. I need to get back to the gym and take control of my health. And I need to get my wife and me back on track for our retirement goals so we can transition to retirement in the coming years (just turned 57 2 days ago). I just lack any motivation to do so. Financially we're still fine, but she quit working 18 months ago and seems to be in the same funk I'm in, with no motivation to go back to work. I'm sure part of it is mid-life crisis and the realization that our nest is about to be empty with our youngest a HS senior. Part of it is we're tired of the rat race and the current work/political climate. Maybe we're feeling the same malaise that has made so many drop out of the workforce?

So, I'm wondering if I should try a life coach for a little bit? I just need someone that can help break things down into small pieces and push me until my flame relights with a clearer path of what I want to do.

Anyone ever use a life coach or have some suggestions?

Sounds like you and the wife are just burnt out.

I really think that too many people, especially if one is in the environment of Due More With Less nonsense, are just burnt out due to the ever increasing workload. At some point, one can't do the work anymore, it is not sustainable. Companies, and some government organizations, have been pushing this Do More With Less nonsense for decades. This truly is a boil the frog situation, and some organization who had good people, team work culture, etc, could handle the Do More With Less, for awhile. At some point, the whole system start to fall apart as people burn out, leave for better organizations, retire, etc.

The US Navy has been running their crews and ships ragged for decades now and it is one of the reasons navy vessels would collide with a commercial ship. The US ship would have more people on watch than the commercial vessel had as the entire crew...

The pandemic speeding up retirements has to be partly due to this Do More With Less mentality. Many people are just burned out and I think it will take time for them to recover their energy.