Are my parents to strict?

murphy1244 · May 6, 2012

k0ua said:
The my advice would be go for it:thumbsup:

James K0UA

Awesome advice Sir James :thumbsup:

Cub124 · May 6, 2012

k0ua said:
The my advice would be go for it:thumbsup:

James K0UA

Thanks for the advice.

Creamer · May 6, 2012

While you may view them as too strict there is certainly an opposite opinion. The right balance comes with maturity and unfortunately kids do not come with owners manuals and are not machines. Each kid has their own personality and therefore responds/reacts differently to the environment they are in.
I do not know of a strict parent that does not love their kids immensely. I would be surprised if your parents are not the same. While you may not agree with some of their rules, they are not doing it for the fun of it - it would be much easier and less confrontation to let you do whatever you want. They are doing it because they think it is the best for you. Having raised four kids with varying degrees of success I can tell you there is no magic formula.
My advice to you is to understand their position and the why behind it. As was mentioned above you are not going to change them quickly but you are reaching adulthood which means that you will not only have the authority to make various decisions but also the responsibility that follows. many kids are not ready for the second half and it bites them hard. Use this next year to really understand their position and develop a mutual respect - if disagreement - but at least a respect - that is the most important.
Also running away to anything is a bad idea. Even if you absolutely hate it at home make sure you have something to go to, i.e. don't join the Air Force because it is your out, but because it is goal or desire. The military is a very noble profession but it is not for everybody. Use this next year to find what you are passionate about or at least think you are passionate about - it may change!

magicheater · May 6, 2012

Funny your parents don't monitor your internet activity as much as they do your others. Military service only strengthens your perspective. Israel has a requirement that all able bodied persons serve 2 or 3 years in the military. It may be a good idea here too.

creekbend · May 6, 2012

Your parents are your parents. In no way am I advocating excessive strictness in a Family unit, but they are YOUR parents. Why are you asking outsiders to offer you advice in regards to the methods or manner that your parents utilize to raise you? Do your parents beat you? Perhaps not, because you didn't indicate this in your initial post? It is no one's concern in regards to the way you are being raised by your parents, that is, if the only complaint is the strictness involved. I wouldn't appreciate it if an outsider advised me concerning the methods that I used to raise my children. I never beat my own children while they were growing up. I don't think this conduct is indicative of your parents conduct either. In one of your other threads here on TBN, you stated that you have a 2000 Polaris and are a Junior Firefighter. Surely, you allocate time to enjoy these interests. Unless your parents are guilty of beating you, slamming your body into the walls of your home, guilty of excessive verbal abuse; etc. , why are you even asking for advice? As others have stated, you will be 18 soon. You will then have the chance to run your own life. Such as getting a job, finding your own place to live, paying for your own groceries, paying all the bills, such as cable, ISP, cell phone and many other conveniences that must be considered while becoming Free and on YOUR OWN. Your parents have probably been providing these conveniences for you. With FREEDOM comes RESPONSIBILITY. The time will soon come when you will turn 18. And perhaps, just perhaps, one day you will have Children of your own? And then you will have plenty of time to reflect on your own decisions that you undertake to raise your own children, Hopefully, then you will be mature and knowledgeable to understand that your parents weren't that BAD. Just a thought? Best wishes.

Cub124 · May 6, 2012

Creamer said:
While you may view them as too strict there is certainly an opposite opinion. The right balance comes with maturity and unfortunately kids do not come with owners manuals and are not machines. Each kid has their own personality and therefore responds/reacts differently to the environment they are in.
I do not know of a strict parent that does not love their kids immensely. I would be surprised if your parents are not the same. While you may not agree with some of their rules, they are not doing it for the fun of it - it would be much easier and less confrontation to let you do whatever you want. They are doing it because they think it is the best for you. Having raised four kids with varying degrees of success I can tell you there is no magic formula.
My advice to you is to understand their position and the why behind it. As was mentioned above you are not going to change them quickly but you are reaching adulthood which means that you will not only have the authority to make various decisions but also the responsibility that follows. many kids are not ready for the second half and it bites them hard. Use this next year to really understand their position and develop a mutual respect - if disagreement - but at least a respect - that is the most important.
Also running away to anything is a bad idea. Even if you absolutely hate it at home make sure you have something to go to, i.e. don't join the Air Force because it is your out, but because it is goal or desire. The military is a very noble profession but it is not for everybody. Use this next year to find what you are passionate about or at least think you are passionate about - it may change!

Thank you for your advice. It gave me a little to think about.

dusty3030 · May 6, 2012

I stepped on the yellow footprints of MCRD San Diego a few weeks after my 18th birthday and 13 weeks later strolled off the parade deck a new man. I wanted to prove and prove it to myself.
If you seek responsibility and independence the military is one way to do it, but I caution you don't go at it half assed, they'll rightfully get the best of you, its their job to weed out the non hackers and losers. You can change your life and forge your future or skate by and be in the same boat 4 years later. If the Air Force is what you want, do it. If not, don't waste your or their time.

Cub124 · May 6, 2012

magicheater said:
Funny your parents don't monitor your internet activity as much as they do your others. Military service only strengthens your perspective. Israel has a requirement that all able bodied persons serve 2 or 3 years in the military. It may be a good idea here too.

Yeah I'm surprised they don't either.

Artisan · May 6, 2012

In My Opinion... and NEVER listen to anyone in a forum!

Bullied? GET OVER IT, "bullied' is the current catch phrase news
organizations are capitalizing on due to lack of other juicy stories.

Again, GET OVER IT, you will be better than them idiot bullies! :thumbsup:
Been there seen that... I weighed 150 pounds wet at the end of
my senior year. Now I weigh 225 and can out work kids half my age.
NEVER, EVER say you were "Bullied" ever again, water under the bridge,
move on kiddo!

You live under your parents roof, RIGHT? They feed you, YES? They cloth you
yes? Then I suggest you yes mame and yes sir and no mame and no sir
them DAILY henceforth, until YOU are standing on your own two feet and not
living off mommie and daddie your obligated to live by their rules. It is
THEIR house...
PERIOD.

I have been paying taxes since I was 13.5 years old. At 17 I had my
own apartment, fed myself , bought my own clothes and cars. NO ONE
gave me anything...so what's your excuse? How come your still at home?
WAIT, ya going to college right? You have not picked a Major yet
right? PaaaaLEASeeeee!

Every day when you wake up you need to be moving, going, figuring
things out, making things happen... Have you ever seen the movie Fight
Club? If not GO SEE IT and when you see the scene w/ Brad Pit (aka
Tlyer Durden) and his sidekick Ed Norton completely destroy a convenience
store clerk, "Bullying" him till he is a blithering, groveling, pantezwaste I
would suggest you think real hard about what you saw. Sure that is
a movie but ya gotta stand up tall someday.

NO ONE but YOU can change your path...

Steer clear of the tweekers and druggies, PICK A CAREER that you
LIKE to do, start studying NOW, DO IT! No One is going to give you
anyhing...Get tuff, stand tall, aim for a goal and work at it till achieved,
even then you still will not know it all, although I must admit, when I
was 17, I thought "I" knew it all ............... NOT!

So IMO, to answer your question, are your parents too strict? NOPE!
Not strict enough... If you were my kid I would have started the tossing
of you out of the house process last year. If your parents keep you
all happy and comfy and cozy why would you ever want to leave? Do
you think for one second they want you to stay at home forever?
I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT!!!
Think about it...

If "I" could go back, "I" would enlist, work my way into doing something
I like to do and capitalize on that when you discharge. It is a HUGE
commitment my friend...but it will teach you things you can not
even dream about yet...

Again, IMHO

Be sure to keep us posted...

Cub124 · May 6, 2012

creekbend said:
Your parents are your parents. In no way am I advocating excessive strictness in a Family unit, but they are YOUR parents. Why are you asking outsiders to offer you advice in regards to the methods or manner that your parents utilize to raise you? Do your parents beat you? Perhaps not, because you didn't indicate this in your initial post? It is no one's concern in regards to the way you are being raised by your parents, that is, if the only complaint is the strictness involved. I wouldn't appreciate it if an outsider advised me concerning the methods that I used to raise my children. I never beat my own children while they were growing up. I don't think this conduct is indicative of your parents conduct either. In one of your other threads here on TBN, you stated that you have a 2000 Polaris and are a Junior Firefighter. Surely, you allocate time to enjoy these interests. Unless your parents are guilty of beating you, slamming your body into the walls of your home, guilty of excessive verbal abuse; etc. , why are you even asking for advice? As others have stated, you will be 18 soon. You will then have the chance to run your own life. Such as getting a job, finding your own place to live, paying for your own groceries, paying all the bills, such as cable, ISP, cell phone and many other conveniences that must be considered while becoming Free and on YOUR OWN. Your parents have probably been providing these conveniences for you. With FREEDOM comes RESPONSIBILITY. The time will soon come when you will turn 18. And perhaps, just perhaps, one day you will have Children of your own? And then you will have plenty of time to reflect on your own decisions that you undertake to raise your own children, Hopefully, then you will be mature and knowledgeable to understand that your parents weren't that BAD. Just a thought? Best wishes.

I was only asking for advice on how to get them to lighten up a bit. No my parents don't beat me. I'm just barely a Junior Firefighter, I'm not allowed to do much with it.