The proper flush is done by using the vehicles own transmission pump as the pressure source and a simple device that connects to the transmission lines (usually at the radiator or aux cooler) that collects the old fluid while also putting in new fluid. Usually this is a just a large cylinder that has a sliding, sealed disc that separates new from old fluid. The old fluid is pumped out, pushes the disc, which in turn forces the exact same volume of new fluid in the return line. This changes the TC fluid, doesn't use excessive pressure or back flow, and is in my opinion relatively harmless. This can be replicated in your garage, but is much trickier and requires a helper. Any "power flush", "high pressure flush" or "back flush" should be avoided. Obviously the right fluid is key.
For the OP, I think you are in pretty good shape, mostly likely significantly better than most people. Where you have a relatively new filter, I think you probably could get away without a filter for quite some time. A trans filter is not like an engine oil filter, there should be relatively few contaminates to worry about, especially after a break in period, as demonstrated by the lack of filters on newer vehicles.
Another option that hasn't been discussed, is to add a spin on type filter inline to the cooler, so that you can change a filter regularly without the mess of dropping the pan. These filters will usually be significantly finer than the pan filter, and would negate the need to ever drop the pan (after an initial change from the original perhaps). I did this on my old explorer, it was quite popular due to known weak trans.