Hey Curt,
They have settled in and they are doing great. They both grew up in Canada and moved to CA after getting married to get out of the snow and my dad had a job offer with the phone company there. I think that making that big move once made it easier for them to move again. I was here almost ten years when one of my brothers moved here. The other was on the East Coast, so once that happened, they became more interested in moving. They put their house up for sale, but it was on the market for years until it finally sold. While all that was happening, they would come out here for months at a time. They joined the Elks Lodge and made friends here. One of my moms very best friends is a lady she met there, and now they talk every day and get together a couple times a week to do something. Dad has become very involved and has also made some good friends. I think them having friends of their own here is what made it work so well for them.
Karen and I love having them here. We joke about them living next to us, calling their home The Store Next Door. Mom keeps her pantry full, so whenever we run out of something, she always has it. They take care of our pets when we travel, we split all the chores and do a lot to help each other out. They are both in their 70's and I think that keeping them busy and providing them with goals to accomplish keeps them going. For us, nothing is worse then down time and being stuck indoors. It's when all the aches and pains set in, when we get lazy and when we gain weight. I think that is what kills people, and why so many people die just a few years after retiring. Being here gives them something to do every day. They do as much as they can, for as long as they can. Then they take a break, or sometimes let me know it's too much and I take over and finish it.
Both love a routine. My mom will go get the mail every day at 3pm. If it's not there, she is like Sheldon Cooper on the Big Bang Theory and not able to function until it gets there. She will go back and forth half a dozen times to check for it. Then at 5pm, she feeds Oscar, the ducks and the geese. If she isn't able to feed them at that time, she makes sure one of us does it. Dad isn't so structured, but he has to have lunch at noon and stop for dinner at five. He is the type who is very proud of what he accomplishes and he can spend the entire day, day after day, doing the same thing. He never gets bored with it, and he never stops until it's done. Just as long as it's not too heavy, exhausting or overwhelming. He just keeps on going!!!
Another factor that helped them move here is that they saw the huge difference in what life was like here and what they where having to deal with back there. Traffic, crime, congestion and all the rules and regulations to do anything. Going shopping here is safe and easy. The people are nice and friendly. There is very little crime and when something does happen, it's big news. I think we had 3 murders last year and half a dozen gas stations where robbed. There are three major hospitals here and the care they get here is far superior then what they received back there. In fact, before moving here, they would come here and pay cash for laser eye surgery instead of going through their plan back there because it was cheaper and they could get in sooner. Their doctor here will see them any time they call him. He talks to them himself on the phone when they call him, and he will come them himself to follow up on something. They have never met or experienced anything like this before. What most people take for granted and accept as normal is surprising to us who grew up in CA. Manners and being polite jumps out at you when you are not used to it.
My niece, their grand daughter and great grand son still live in the Sacramento area. She moves around all the time, so who knows how long she will be there. That was the hardest part for them, but she has her own life and they said they didn't see her all that often anyway. Now they go on vacation to visit her and their friends that are still there. This seems to work out good because after a few weeks, they can't wait to get back here. Every trip they have taken, they come back early because they miss being here and their home.
Hope you can work it out with your mom. I know some people are just not meant to move. It's hard, it takes a lot of effort and time to make it happen, and then to adjust and get comfortable. For me and for my parents, it's proven to be the best thing we could have done.
Good luck,
Eddie
