Wow, this thread unravels at blinding speed.....
What actually happens if you use your manufacturer's brand of filter and the dealer changes it and it gets sucked into the engine and the engine is toast is the GARAGE Keeper's Liability Insurance Policy kicks in IF the customer pushes the issue and the dealer hasn't already made good on repairing the engine damage. How do I know this? I owned a foreign auto shop and had just such a policy to cover any such errors.
I never made a claim though one engine did blow up as a result of a friend 'helping me out' when I was shorthanded- he changed oil on a customer's corporate car and missed the gasket stuck to the block. When I wrapped up at the end of the day I was emptying the oil drain/filter holder and looked at each and every filter before throwing it in the trash. I immediately called the customer's house and left an urgent message about what had happened. By the time the customer received my message he had already spewed all the oil onto the highway.
Somehow, and I never got the exact details, the dealer his company took their fleet of vehicles to for routine service replaced the engine, and I was thanked personally by the customer for being so conscientious. I offered, before I knew what the outcome would be to do whatever was necessary to fix the situation, and would have made a claim to my insurance had it been necessary.
My point here is there are things some of us know about how things actually work in the auto or tractor garage business that aren't general public knowledge. There are no cut and dried rules of how things go in every situation precisely because each situation is usually somewhat unique and specific to the dealer/ tractor/ customer, etc.
And BtB, you may want to believe some of us who are attempting to get you to take off your rose colored glasses and look at this situation as a rational/ logical human who made a mistake, that seems to be costing you a lot of aggravation, would fail a law class. Classes are examples of real life scenarios they are not a court of law with an actual case in front of a jury. Juries are fickle and can decide in whatever direction they choose. That is why most smart lawyers want to keep cases from ever coming to trial.
And please stop tormenting yourself, and us, with your off the wall comparisons to pharmacists- who are licensed professionals, and store clerks. And the gut feeling thing about whether to get on or off the plane- there is one thing for sure, if you have a gut feeling that tells you to get off and you stay on and it crashes, all you are is DEAD! It has NO bearing whatsoever on a possible lawsuit by a family member after the fact.
What we're trying to tell you is YOU made a mistake compounded by not listening to the gut feeling that was probably telling you- 'gee this doesn't look like the right Smitty's stuff I usually use?!

'
BUT YOU WENT AHEAD ANYWAY and now you want someone else to pay for your problem.
You bought the stuff, you thought there might be something wrong with it but went ahead and then sought the store clerk's/manager's, whomever's seal of approval on the wrong product- which you say they gave to you verbally- which if you actually knew anything about law is completely and totally USELESS. Verbal statements by a clerk CANNOT amend a manufacturer's liability or warranty or a slice of pie.
You have NO case, so get it fixed and learn something from it. Good luck and next time pay attention to the little voice- its there for a reason- obviously- look at the outcome from not paying it heed.