Big changes coming to Mossflower Wood Farm/Ranch...

[texasjohn]

David, sorry to hear this. Sincere best wishes. Horses are a much bigger time and money sink than most appreciate, thus significant pressure will come off when they go. Move on horses quickly and one step at a time for the rest. Hard to admit we can't do it all. I sure can't. Forgive yourself for being human and take care of your health, mental and physical, it's the best way to take care of everybody/thing else. Believe it.

 

[sam5570]

David as normal i talk to soon when i should have listen longer, but i hope when the horses are gone maby things will improve. i don't like horses either there is just so much upkeep to what little enjoyment you get out of them. i have faith that if both sides want a solution there will be one that everyone can live with. i am not a big supporter of councling but i do want to tell you my daughter has had simular problems and she started atending support group meetings and man let me tell you that helped her alot. these meetings are held at the chruch and everyone there is going thru some type of marrige or family problems.ok my friend God bless you and your family and keep the faith

 

[jimmyj]

Very sorry to hear this news. I wish you much luck, health and happiness whatever road life takes you down.

Rural living sure is a lot of work and cost I do agree. Every couple of years I have a melt down because it overwhelms my wife and I, either time wise or financially. It can be hard for sure. Horses in particular are about the most work a person can get into (if you are a hobby farmer, I wouldn't compare them to someone with a diary farm for example).

Maybe with the horses gone things will settle in. Sure seems like you have a lovely place. Maybe let it go wild and just enjoy nature.

 

[murphy1244]

Sorry to hear the news, what happened with the Horses and the Girls?

 

[milkman636]

Like others have said, maybe getting rid of the horses and focussing on accomplishing a couple of the worst offending items on her list will satisfy her enough to be content where she is at. What I found with my wife is that she does want me to have the things in life that I enjoy as long as she is getting the things that she enjoys. When I get things one sided in my favor it becomes a problem. My wife was angry with me after I bought my last tractor. She didn't tell me directly, she showed for a few months afterward. It took me a while to figure it out. Our house needed some attention also (roof and bathrooms) and I was investing alot of time and effort and money in something that only I wanted. She eventually got past it, and I think adressing some of what she thought was most important helped. The roof and one of bathrooms are now redone, andwe are planning for new kitchen cabinets and counters even though its not at the top of my list.

We are all learning as we go through life, and its good to not overreact and make hasty decisions. I hope you guys can get to the root of the issues and work together to accomplish the things that you both want.

 

[Gary Fowler]

I am not a horse keeper person. I love to watch them, but they are pretty useless animals on a farm unless you have working horses to herd cattle with. They just eat and eat and gnaw up fences, get sick easily and generally are a big money sink from which one never can get the money back from them. Shelter horses are just a waste of resources in most cases. That may seem cruel but that is life. Cattle are a PIA also, but at least you can eat what you don't sell and maybe break even on the deal.

I have only chickens to tend to and they can pretty much take care of themselves if I decide to go on a trip as they free-range. They can water from the pond if needed and only need a bit of feed during the winter and they provide me with all the eggs I need + several dozen to kids and neighbors.

 

[creekbend]

Dear Sir: This comes from "THE VERY BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND SOUL". I wish you the very best, and I sincerely hope that You and Your Family find a Constructive Solution. If you ever need someone just to talk to, I will be glad to listen. And I mean that. BEST WISHES.

 

[Thomas]

Indeed a plateful David,as already said fingers cross for 180..stay strong.

 

[Lloyd_E]

I am sorry for your situation but impressed with your priorities - kids and wife - first. Can you advertise the horses - offering a free lease - someone may be interested and at least they can do all of the work and use them at your property until you sell them and perhaps whoever does this may want to buy them eventually. This will free up your time a bit and take the load off of your family. How much work has to be done? When I had health issues a few years back, my wife organized a work day, my brother, his good friend and 2 my of my close friends came and gave me 10-12 hours of their day to finish projects around the property - ie: round pin, fencing, firewood etc... with a BBQ at the end of the day. They all wondered when the next work day was being scheduled... they had a blast. Perhaps you could make a list and see if any TBNers live close by and or gather some people from your church and close friends and go at it... with a big feast afterwards.

I would finish the fencing and buildings - they will add value to your property for resale.

""At the moment, if I plan to stay married (which I do) at a minimum the horses MUST go, & she is refusing to let me finish the pasture fence and run-in shed (too bad for me that I've already bought the lumber and gates), and the plan is officially we MUST sell Mossflower Woods as soon as we can get our money back, maybe even before that..."" - - - Sounds like this may buy you some time.

Not sure I can offer any suggestions on the counselling side - others have made good suggestions for you both - hopefully your wife will be open to things.

Hang in there... there will be better times.

 

[jinman]

David, as Lloyd said, it's refreshing to see your priorities are in the right place. Everyone has different levels of tolerance for stress and hard work. Perhaps this is just an adjustment of your course. At a later date and time you will be better able to find an acceptable solution for both of you. It's just that at this point in your life the stresses are too great for your wife. I'm hoping that you'll be able to successfully sell without loses and then keep the dream alive for a future time. Those of us who have wives that love the country life and it's struggles are very lucky. You are lucky that your wife is sticking with you through the adjustment and your family will remain intact. Nothing else matters as much as keeping a relationship off the rocks when a change of direction can restore your commitments to each other.