Colloquialisms

[dodge man]

You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a …….. This is used to signify a lot of something. An example. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a weed in your garden.

 

[groundcover]

Slicker than snot on a doorknob

 

[Oaktree]

Grinnin' like a mule eatin' briars.

Then there's the ever popular sh*t eating grin.
Gotta wonder where that came from.

 

[BravoXray]

Grinning like a possum eating sh*t.

 

[BravoXray]

If I'm wrong, I'll kiss your a$$ in the courthouse square, and give you two days to draw a crowd.

 

[Suburban Plowboy]

If I'm wrong, I'll kiss your a$$ in the courthouse square, and give you two days to draw a crowd.

My dad always gave them three days.

 

[Suburban Plowboy]

My African wife thinks it's unbelievably funny that I use "croak" to mean "die."

 

[dodge man]

Well that went over like a lead ballon.

 

[Fuddyduddy1952]

Like a fart in a whirlwind

 

[taem]

Had a friend in school, not sure where he was from, but would ask "How much do you like being done?" And I would say, "I like it very much, thank you".

Then he would say, "No, I mean how much more do you need to do before you are finished?.

sounds like he was saying "lack" being done

 

[JethroB]

She looks good from far, but when you get close, she is far from good.

Sit down on this bar stool honey while I drink you pretty.

 

[JethroB]

Two bricks short of a load
Elevator doesn’t go to the top
The porch light is on but nobody is home
Not the brightest bulb on the tree
Useless as a screen door on a submarine
Ain’t worth the cost of the bullet to kill

 

[BravoXray]

Harder than Kelsey's nuts.

 

[gstrom99]

Not the sharpest tool in the shed

 

[2LaneCruzer]

She looks like she's been beat with an ugly stick...her nose is crooked as a dog's hind leg; and a fat hog could run between those bow legs of hers. She's so dumb she couldn't play dead in a cowboy movie.

 

[Fuddyduddy1952]

Couldn't beat his way out of a wet paper bag

 

[John0829]

Better the devil ya know than the one ya don't

Well ain't this a goat rope-in

 

[JethroB]

Has a goats butt got a windshield wiper?

 

[Fuddyduddy1952]

If not for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all.

That one is appropriate for today when I tried two new hydraulic hoses I ordered. See if you see why the tractor and I got soaked with hydraulic fluid.

 

[Complete Turf Care]

Looks like the fitting is not crimped on the hose.