Contemplating Career Change

[Frankenkubota]

I told my wife about this thread. That somebody with a secure high paying but boring and frustrating job was thinking about quitting and starting to work for themselves not knowing how much it was going to effect his family's lifestyle. With the possibility of spending long hours away from the family in the new career.

Her comment.

"Divorce looking for a place to happen!"

LOL.... or maybe not so funny.

Good luck

RSKY

What happened to...for better or worse and thru thick and thin.....etcetc

 

[tradosaurus]

What happened to...for better or worse and thru thick and thin.....etcetc

Feminism. More and more young men are giving up on marriage. Too much risk and little reward. Can't blame them.

 

[Frankenkubota]

I've owned 4 businesses, 1 was my career and the others were just cause i get bored easy. I survived but I earned an education that many don't have, comes with the job.

Seems like every 3rd sheetrock guy wants to run his own deal. A kid in Oregon was he// bent on it.

Finally, in front of his wife i told him.....you gottabe at least 3 people, probably more.

1. marketing and sales. Even if your customers call you, ya gotta call them back, better yet, answer the phone. That includes sales, estimating, quoting, negotiation etc. At least a couple site visits.

2. Technician/installer.....most already know how to do this and that's a full time job.

3. Business manager....this is where most fail. I told him that means billing, collecting, credit for materials, follow up, punch list, accounting, money management, more site visits etc.

oh yea #4....husband....they never seem to want to do any
thing but........ sure want to spend time with you doing it!

Then I looked at her and said....while you are on the couch after supper watching Jerry Springer he better be upstairs doin #1 and #3 because he will be installing sheetrock 8-10 hours a day. Also Going to the dump on Saturday and drinking hard on Sunday.

Turns out the guy was a wanted felon, bench warrant, it happens. He was fishing on the Columbia, got checked for fishing license and bang.....straight to jail.

Every small business person i ever met said....if there was just 1 more of me.......

You do not own the business anyway, it owns you.

Go for it but with ....... open eyes, it will change your life.

 

[RSKY]

My FIL retired from his engineering job in the mid 80's and bought a print shop. He and his wife worked long hours with no weekends and vacations for two years before deciding that it was not a job you want to do in retirement. Sold the print shop within 4 years and went back to work with his previous company as a consultant.
If you want a lower stress job with great benefits and decent pay go work for the fed gov't.

On your last part of your comment, the sad part is that is what women believe is the only leverage they have over a man. Probably a warning to you too.

My wife knows never to pull that D word out because it won't work on me.

Not a warning to me. She has stuck with me thru thick and thin, basically raised two kids while I worked twelve hour shifts on nights. BUT she has seen it happen more than once in her 39 year career. Rarely do you see a woman divorce a wealthy husband and go with a dirt poor man.

RSKY

 

[tradosaurus]

Not a warning to me. She has stuck with me thru thick and thin, basically raised two kids while I worked twelve hour shifts on nights. BUT she has seen it happen more than once in her 39 year career. Rarely do you see a woman divorce a wealthy husband and go with a dirt poor man.

RSKY

Unless that woman brought half the wealth over to the dirt poor man.

My friends mother divorced his father while his father was in the hospital with cancer. They were both 82 at the time. Married 50 yrs.

 

[Macinnis]

My friends mother divorced her father while he was in the hospital with cancer. They were both 82 at the time. Married 50 yrs.

that is crazy.

 

[MossRoad]

There's a couple reasons why divorce rates are high among couples where one has cancer or some other disease.

1. It's a pretty stressful situation.
2. It may be financially necessary so that at least one of the couple will have enough money to continue on.

We'd all like to think we'd stick through it thick or thin, however, we all know couples that have gotten divorced for many reasons.

 

[MoKelly]

There's a couple reasons why divorce rates are high among couples where one has cancer or some other disease.

1. It's a pretty stressful situation.
2. It may be financially necessary so that at least one of the couple will have enough money to continue on.

We'd all like to think we'd stick through it thick or thin, however, we all know couples that have gotten divorced for many reasons.

There are valid reasons for divorce and selfish reasons for divorce.

As I saw in another thread “just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should”.

When my parents were raising us kids, my Dad had a job and expected to work at the same company his entire career. He did -41 years.

When my parents got married they expected to stay married forever. They did —- 64 years and counting.

I have no proof, but my parent’s generation seemed more committed than my generation.

MoKelly

 

[Steppenwolfe]

I've owned 4 businesses, 1 was my career and the others were just cause i get bored easy. I survived but I earned an education that many don't have, comes with the job.

Seems like every 3rd sheetrock guy wants to run his own deal. A kid in Oregon was he// bent on it.

Finally, in front of his wife i told him.....you gottabe at least 3 people, probably more.

1. marketing and sales. Even if your customers call you, ya gotta call them back, better yet, answer the phone. That includes sales, estimating, quoting, negotiation etc. At least a couple site visits.

2. Technician/installer.....most already know how to do this and that's a full time job.

3. Business manager....this is where most fail. I told him that means billing, collecting, credit for materials, follow up, punch list, accounting, money management, more site visits etc.

oh yea #4....husband....they never seem to want to do any
thing but........ sure want to spend time with you doing it!

Then I looked at her and said....while you are on the couch after supper watching Jerry Springer he better be upstairs doin #1 and #3 because he will be installing sheetrock 8-10 hours a day. Also Going to the dump on Saturday and drinking hard on Sunday.

Turns out the guy was a wanted felon, bench warrant, it happens. He was fishing on the Columbia, got checked for fishing license and bang.....straight to jail.

Every small business person i ever met said....if there was just 1 more of me.......

You do not own the business anyway, it owns you.

Go for it but with ....... open eyes, it will change your life.

Being self employed isn't for most people...

 

[Jchonline]

My advice is to keep your current job, start working electrician stuff on the side. See how you like it.

 

[Frankenkubota]

There's a couple reasons why divorce rates are high among couples where one has cancer or some other disease.

1. It's a pretty stressful situation.
2. It may be financially necessary so that at least one of the couple will have enough money to continue on.

We'd all like to think we'd stick through it thick or thin, however, we all know couples that have gotten divorced for many reasons.

yes, i read that too, about elderly getting divorces. don't really understand how but i guess 2 unrelated folks, living together, can be more financially stable than a married couple?

I don't believe the govt does anything on purpose or maliciously but, just another example of their social engineering.

 

[tradosaurus]

yes, i read that too, about elderly getting divorces. don't really understand how but i guess 2 unrelated folks, living together, can be more financially stable than a married couple?

I don't believe the govt does anything on purpose or maliciously but, just another example of their social engineering.

I would like to see the monetary advantage for divorcing at an old age.
The example I gave the wife, I believe, held a grudge against her husband for years and finally had an opportunity to "stick it" to him.

 

[MoKelly]

I would like to see the monetary advantage for divorcing at an old age.
The example I gave the wife, I believe, held a grudge against her husband for years and finally had an opportunity to "stick it" to him.

I’ve said it before and will say it again —- God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!

MoKelly

 

[drssg]

This is just a guess, but I could envision mutual agreement for an old age divorce as a way to protect the dying spouse's estate from being drained by end-of-life medical bills.

If an old man has no money, he will still get medical care at tax payer expense.

 

[EddieWalker]

I know of two couples that got divorced after cancer. In both cases, it was the wife who had cancer and the husband just about killed himself to help her out, go to work, and take care of their home. In both cases, once she was cancer free, she decided that she wanted to be free to enjoy life and do what she had always wanted to do.

In the first case, she asked for the divorce and said that she didn't want anything, but then talked to a lawyer and decided that she wanted half of everything, but in cash so she could travel. It's been several years now and he has closed down his business and has pretty much become a hermit. I haven't seen him in over a year and his phone is disconnected. I have no idea how it's all turned out.

In the other case, she lost a lot of weight during treatment and even though she is almost 60 years old, she started posting selfies of herself that are modified to make her look like a much younger girl. She has lost her mind in her FB postings that are begging for attention. Pictures of her working out, eating healthy, and showing off new outfits or shoes. It's very sad, especially since he worked so hard to help her get through cancer and now she doesn't want anything to do with him.

My wife and I can't figure it out. They have been through so much and know that he was there for them. Why through that away and risk being alone, or with somebody that will never be there for them?

 

[MoKelly]

Perhaps, for some, cancer impacts the brain. I don’t know.

I do know that for all the advancements in the medical field, the inner workings of the brain is still like outer space. We really don’t know what is going on inside someone’s brain after illness or trama.

Both examples above are very very sad.

MoKelly

 

[WVH1977]

So I am now going on 5 years in a management position. We had new leadership come in about two years ago and things are not improving. It is starting to affect my sleep and personal life. I think about work all the time.

I have the ability to move back down and get back into my old position that I am managing currently. It would cost me 6,000 a year loss in pay and they would have to fill my position. I think they would probably hire one of my current employees based on the conversations I have had with them (they know I am tired and stressed/burnt out). I could work for any of them. It is also still great pay, keep all my benefits and I can get by just fine. I am really struggling with this. I am tired of having to make decisions and review everything and be questioned constantly. I am an expert in my field and if I take this step back, all I would have to worry about is my own workload. I have a good group of folks I have hired and trained and I would still be working with them. It is the upper management and customers that I am tired of dealing with everyday.

My personal friends and family are split with advice. Some say tough it out and others say look after your health. I am up in the air about this still but I know I can't keep going on like this. I really think I don't have the personality to be a manager based on what I have been through the last couple of years. To top it off, I received a pay increase this year for the good work I have done. I am at the point that I don't care about that either. I am also putting in for other jobs in my field with same pay. Not having any luck with that right now but increasing the search.

Am I making a bad decision/thought process about possibly moving back instead of forward for my job/career?

 

[Wakey]

I have the ability to move back down and get back into my old position that I am managing currently. It would cost me 6,000 a year loss in pay

5 years in a management position and your pay only dips $150.00 a week to go back?

That is a no-brainer in my book. The added stress of management isn’t worth 3 times that.

 

[Complete Turf Care]

Am I making a bad decision/thought process about possibly moving back instead of forward for my job/career?

I think you are going in the right direction. You need to be happy with your job and your life.

Let me tell you my story, and I'll try to be brief. I'll start by saying I am happier now than I have ever been.

About 20 years ago, I had a pretty good job but just was not happy. I was 43 years old with 2 daughters in private high school. My wife had a decent job with medical benefits.

I mortgaged my home and bought an existing lawn care business. Three days after signing the papers to buy, I discovered that the business basically did not exist. Now, I have no job, no customers, no equipment, etc.

I moved some money around, bought some equipment, and started knocking on doors to gain customers.

Now, 20 years later, I have very little debt, I own several hundred thousand dollars worth of equipment, and will probably do a little over 1 million in sales this year.

Although the beginning was rough, I am very happy that I left the old job and started my own business.

 

[EddieWalker]

My wife has always been in management. She says that she's done, but somehow, it happens again. She has done everything at different hospitals from being a Charge Nurse, to the Manager or Director, to even a Chief Nursing Officer. When she went to work at the University, she became the Director of the Nursing Program and was in consideration for a Dean position. But then Covid hit and our priorities changed. Being the boss wasn't as important as being home and able to work on what's important to us. She stepped down from her Director position and she is now teaching a couple different classes that pay the same, but she works half the hours, with the same benefits. For her, and us, it was a huge win-win.