Country humor comes early.....

   / Country humor comes early..... #1  

Anonymous Poster

Epic Contributor
Joined
Sep 27, 2005
Messages
29,678
He came with his father this morning to buy two gilts. I was watching him out of the corner of my eye, holding a little boar while my husband Fred was performing a castration. I was a little concerned that the boy might get queasy. It's not a messy procedure, but the way the pigs carry on, you would think they were being burned alive. He was about six or seven I guess, wearing overalls, the bib pockets stuffed full of God knows what all little boys carry, one hand crammed in his hip pocket, fiddling with something. The red sucker he had plugged in his mouth moved from one side of his jaw to the other, and he squinted in the morning sunlight as he watched the process.

"Why ya havta do that?" he asked, taking the sucker out of his mouth and holding it pinched between thumb and forefinger as he waited for his answer. Three grownups, Fred, and I, and the boy's father all started talking at once, each wanting to explain it in the most reasonable and gentle manner. Fred took center stage. He did very well.

"Oh". The sucker went back in and then came right back out.

"Does it hurt?"

"Well," I say, "I guess it has to hurt a little, but it heals up pretty fast. I think it's more scary than anything."

"Oh"

The sucker went back in. Father and son waited patiently while we disinfected the little boar. Fred dropped the now useless family credentials from the pig, in a bucket at his feet and we washed our hands in preparation of catching their pigs. The sucker came out again and I cringed. I knew what the next question was going to be.

"Whatcha gonna do with them now?" He asked, eyes serious as a heart attack as he studied the contents of the bucket. Before I could say anything Fred launched into his standard answer.

"Gonna make some soup" Fred says, "throw in a hambone or two, a few carrots. Good stuff." Of course we weren't. We were going to bury them as usual, but Fred has that tendency to tease, likes nothing better to hear 'ooohh, gross, that's nasty', and so on.

The boy stood there holding that sucker in his hand as he mulled it all over and then he met Fred's eyes and smiled a wry little smile. He was not unaccustomed to the feeling of someone tugging on his leg, apparently.

"Oh" he said simply, after a moment or two, and then he looked up at his dad, " 'mind me not to eat here."

Back in went the sucker, and he grinned widely around the stick, clearly proud of the fact that he had caught the joke. I thought we all were going to die laughing. I nudged Fred.

"You just met your match."

We all enjoyed a good laugh, and while dad carried away two fat healthy little pigs, son went off walking just a little bit taller than he had been when he got here.
 
   / Country humor comes early..... #2  
Hey-hey Not soup; Prairie Oysters breaded and fried in garlic laced olive oil with maybe a hot pepper or two.

Egon
 
   / Country humor comes early.....
  • Thread Starter
#4  
Oh, you guys are joking right? (Gulp) Please? /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
 
   / Country humor comes early..... #5  
No joke......always makes me wonder what the first person to try these items were thinking or drinking. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Here are some recipes for you to try now that y'all are country folk. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

http://www.sheepscreek.com/recipes/lamb-treats.html

Jeff
 
   / Country humor comes early.....
  • Thread Starter
#6  
No kidding! I know there are a lot of people who swear by raw oysters. I'm sorry, something has to look like it would taste good before I'm gonna eat it and raw oysters to me look like the end result of a bad head cold. Blech! Whoever looked at a raw oyster the first time and said, hmmmm....yummy, must have been starving smooth to death.
 
   / Country humor comes early..... #7  
No kidding Cindi,
When it was time to make the little guys into barrows, the bucketful never got buried at our house.

Jerry
 
   / Country humor comes early..... #8  
The secret to raw oysters is to swallow whole with no chewing. Course one never knows how many little buggies the raw oyster may contain so it's best to watch others say they enjoy them.

Egon
 
   / Country humor comes early..... #9  
I sat with a bunch of guys while on business in Houston one time. You went into it and each person just to get in was over fifty. Then you got to eat them stupid oysters all night long. And the group I was with did eat them for over two hours and drink beer. I just drank beer, just couldn't stand them things. I was told to swallow only, then there was no taste. On top of that I had to pay thirty bucks to eat sword fish. Man it was expensive, but the place was full so people must like the place, not me won't go back. That was in the later 70's, I wonder how much it is today. They did guarantee everything you ate was caught within the last 6 hours and was alive ten minutes before they cooked it.

murph
 
   / Country humor comes early.....
  • Thread Starter
#10  
Folks that would eat raw oysters would probably also fight the dog for litter box brownies!
 

Tractor & Equipment Auctions

BW RVB3405 20,000lbs 5th Wheel Hitch Base (A50322)
BW RVB3405...
2006 FONTAINE TRAILER CO. 48X102 FLATBED SPREAD AXLE (A53843)
2006 FONTAINE...
2019 FORD F-650 SUPER DUTY BOX TRUCK (A51406)
2019 FORD F-650...
2018 DRAGON 150 BBL ALUMINUM VACUUM TRAILER (A53843)
2018 DRAGON 150...
2011 Mack GU713 Granite Cooper TM-1882 18 Ton Crane Truck (A53422)
2011 Mack GU713...
6 pallets of PomPoms on Rope (A53117)
6 pallets of...
 
Top