Dad Jokes

[Bill Guenthner]

Here's one to kick off summer.

Pig 1: I never sausage heat
Pig 2: Tell me about it, I'm bacon

Have you got any that drove your kids bonkers?

 

[jjeff]

Where does Santa go swimming....
The North pool.
Jokes repeated around every Christmas by me.

 

[sea2summit]

I’ve got one that will leave you in suspense.

 

[Number15]

Q: Why can't you run in a campground?
A: Because you can only ran, it's past tents.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Why did the little moron put a band aid under his watch band? To keep the ticks from biting him on the wrist.

 

[WVH1977]

Q: Why does Tigger smell?
A: Because he plays with Pooh!!!

 

[PILOON]

Then came 'knock-knocks'.

 

[PILOON]

They had a fantastic day fishing.
One fisherman said they should mark the spot to be sure they had more great catches.
Buddy said he did.
He made a large X on the side of the boat.

 

[reb]

They had a fantastic day fishing.
One fisherman said they should mark the spot to be sure they had more great catches.
Buddy said he did.
He made a large X on the side of the boat.

The problem with that is you might not get the same boat (rental) the next time.

 

[Richard]

Told to me by the mother of my first girlfriend almost 45 years ago.

What did the ********* say to the sadist?

"hit me......hit me....."

What did the sadist say back?

"no"

 

[Paddy]

man wakes up on Father's day and says to his wife, "we could make sweet love or I could go fishing" Wife says, "I'll pack you a nice lunch"