Discussion

[Mike_Dumond]

Not to start anything here, (except maybe a discussion). I always enjoy reading the safety forum, alot of things in there that you can learn from. However, I've noticed something. This doesn't true in all cases, but in alot of them it does hold true. This is not to minimize any other safety issues, but I've noticed that incidents involving kids being killed seem to get less hits than others. Not only here, but in other forums.

Case in point, on 9/14 I entered a post about a six year old girl that was thrown out of a pickup and died. On 9/15, John4nh entered a post about a garden tractor flip. The girl post got 168 hits, and 1 response. The flip got 506 hits and 26 responses. Even the polo pony thread got 397 hits and 14 responses. My question is this, Do we intentionally stay away from this sort of post? Is it because it's kids involved? Is there a guilt thing involved? Or, might it be that we don't want to recognize the incident itself, because it strikes too close to home. (As in, if we hurt ourselves, that's one thing. But if we hurt our kids, that's unforgiveable.)

As I said, I don't mean to minimize any safety issue, I'm just trying to understand the reasoning behind this. Just to let you know, when I first saw the article, my first thought was to not read it.

 

[Anonymous Poster]

As a mother of a 3 and 5 year old, I have difficulty responding to those posts. I read the information and then think about my kids and how life would be without them or dealing with a serious injury. The information that is posted is very important, but instead of responding, I internalize it and make sure that never happens to my children. To place your children in unsafe position is very unwise. The posts remind you of this.

 

[dmccarty]

Mike,

TBNers are going to fall into two broad groups on this issue.
Those with children and those without. Those without
kids might not be as interested in the post since they don't
have little ones. Those with children might not want to read
of yet another horror happening to kids.

A couple of examples. This week a church day care bus
picked up a two year old and took her back to the school.
This was the only child picked up. The driver forgot the kid
and left her in the bus. The kid died. I saw the headline
and did not want to read the story but I did eventually. A
coworker who sits behind me has two kids that are the same
age as my child. I did not mention the story to her since I
knew it would upset her. Someone else did tell her and guess
what? She was upset.

One of the worse things that emergency workers, police,
EMTs, fire fighters, run into is kids being hurt or killed. Its the
leading cause of PTSD in these groups. I saw a story this
week from LA where a drunk ran over three kids aged 2 to 5 I
think as well as their mom. All died. The story said that 15
responders where heading toward therapy. I'm glad they
recognized the dangers and are getting help.....

These stories for those with kids are beyond scary. Its one of
those "But for the grace of god there go I." things.......

Later,
Dan

 

[BHarrison]

As a former First Responder and new Father, I purposely keep my distance from such issues. They affect me in a way that I just don't need. I live my life, and raise my child as safe as I possible can. All the time. Every day. Safety is always 1st when it comes to children. All the gory news storys in the world are not going to change the way that I raise my child. I feel that I am already at 100% awareness. I am not going to say that I have seen it all, but I have seen alot. ...enough anyway.
I am not disrespecting your post at all. I think there are plenty folks out there that really need to give safety a little more priority in their daily train of thought.
The reason that I stopped running EMS calls is due to one too many auto accidents involving kids.

 

[Mrwurm]

Mike, I am sorry that I don't have a better response to your question. All that I can say is that I am also mystified by the lack of response to certain posts. Maybe their is a psychologist on the board who can figure it out.

 

[fishman]

Mike,

I'm from the "I have kids" camp, and can tell you that the posts on accidents involving children upset me greatly, so I choose not to read/respond to them. Almost without fail the accident would have been preventable if the parent had exercised the slightest bit of caution (wear seatbelt, don't ride in tractor bucket, etc.) Some TBNers might find them useful, so that's a-ok with me.

I'm actually relieved that others find them so disturbing that they also choose not to view them. I thought I might be the only one. Anything bad involving children really hits my hot button, something I don't need when I'm sneaking a peak at TBN during working hours! /w3tcompact/icons/shocked.gif

 

[mdbarb]

I've actually quit reading the Safety forum because of these stories. It's just plain too disturbing.

 

[MikePA]

Many of the responses to john4nh were from people who have experienced problems using ramps, then the posts diverged to using a trailer as an alternative to using ramps to load a tractor in a pickup. Several posts mentioned places to get ramps or trailers. While not many of us have had a garden tractor flip over on us, many of us have used ramps to load something into a pickup. Many people have used trailers for transporting tractors. In other words, a shared, common experience.

As others have mentioned, your post not only dealt with the death of a child, the cause was a door swinging open and the child falling out of the vehicle. Not a common occurrence, thankfully, so most of us have no experience with this either directly or indirectly.

 

[Carl_NH]

Mike,

I read these posts as well but rarely respond to them as appears to be typical, I beleive we internalize the issue. All people deal with bad news differently, and some prefer to get involved (and reply) etc.

Think of it another way, driving down a busy interstate Hwy you see a car in the median strip obviously banged up and no other cars stopped but the passengers are standing outside the vehicle. Some on this forum will stop, others drive on by.

This happened to me this weekend on I80 in the driving rain, with a semi behind me and vehicles in the right lane. I did call 911 and report the incident and they we're already aware and sending assistance. I also felt that stopping would endanger me, as well could have created potentially another accident.

Now, in other circumstances, I have stopped - it depends on the situation.

Back to the topic at hand, I beleive we all deal with tragedy differently, but for the most part want to screen that out of our minds as it is unpleasant.

I would comment that other TBN members are very supportive when a loss/sickness/new arrival etc.. is written here, however that is different when it's among the TBN family so to speak.

Carl

 

[snowman]

My guess is that the garden tractor thread is more active simply because more people can relate to that than a child falling out of the car, plus the fact that the garden tractor incident was described by the person that it happened to, so people could respond to that person.

The story relative to the child was bascially a news story and didn't involve anyone "here". Not that that makes it less important, but it's no different that many stories of that nature that are in the paper every day. What can you really say? I have a three year old, and I guaranty you that every day I worry about things that could happen, but I'm sure that pretty much what every parent goes through.

If the accident happened to you and you were relating what happened first hand, it probably would have received many responses.

 

[Mike_Dumond]

Thank you for the responses so far. I guess I'm just trying to get different feelings from different people about this thing. Hopefully it'll help me interact better with victim's families and bystanders in these situations. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. Thanks again for your input.

 

[Gary_in_Indiana]

Mike,

I don't know if this relates or not but I'll share it and let you decide. As you may be aware, I recently had a terrible scare with my daughter. I chose not to share anything about it until after I knew the outcome was positive. Personally, I don't like talking, writing, hearing or reading about bad things befalling children (and, yes, I know she's 24 and in law school, but she's still my little girl).

Maybe it's a 'head-in-the-sand' approach, but it works for me. I don't want to focus on things like that with others' because, in my case, it only serves to make me anxious about mine. I know things like that happen, I just don't want to focus on them.

It sounds like maybe my thinking isn't unique on things like this.

 

[knucklehead]

I'll have to go in the "against" category - and agree that I am tired of these stories - all stories, not just the ones with kids. Every one is a result of really stupid things being done, violating a basic safety rule, rather than some obscure or rare issue. I find they add no knowledge of safety to my understanding. I don't mean to be harsh, just brief /w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif.

Also, as one who has awakened, sweaty and breathless, from a dream that our youngest slipped down a hole in the ice while fishing, I can say without reservation that I do not need any more "material" for my already over-fertile imagination.

Ever try to claw through 24" of ice?

 

[Tractorgirl]

My guess is that people don't want to deal with or respond to the death of a child. We tend to view the death of children as "unfair" and that an older persson should have died as they had the chance to live life. As a mom, I tend to avoid kidnapping, rape and death stories of children because of the pain it could/can promote.

 

[knucklehead]

As a Dad, I'll second that last post!

 

[Richard]

Not having children myself, I'm sure I can't fully relate with those that do. That said, I personally find the safety forum one place of interest because I, out of ignorance or bravado, (are they maybe the same thing) might do something that those wiser than me know not to do.

It is tough hearing about some of the blatent incidents of stupidity but then..as i live on small road that is roughly 12 feet wide and we have yahoos racing down the road every now & then around blind corners, I'm a bit more aware of watching for them. (ala tractor getting back ended while puttering down road story)

so for me, I now do NOT take my nephew for a ride in the 8 foot wide bucket of Brutus. never HAD, never THOUGHT about it... but today, I specifically will NOT do it as a matter of principle.

Had it not been for this safety forum (or TBN more generally), I would not have had my attitudes molded this way.

I am one that reads all that is there (includes most all forums)

 

[wroughtn_harv]

Evening Mike,

I think the answer to your question goes along the lines of us not wanting to examine the issue too closely because it is too close for comfort.

I don't think your message landed on deaf ears. Notes were made and I'm sure those wouldn't have before will pass if a test ever comes along.

You do have to remember these boards are first and foremost entertainment. The subject you're bringing up isn't. So I don't think I'd put more into it than there is.

But I do believe that it's important for posts like yours to be here. They are seen and they are important. And I'm sure everyone will agree, appreciated.