Elevator - VERTICAL Wheel Chair lift? Help anyone?

Bob_Skurka · Oct 18, 2004

That can be literally a killing situation. 

I think that my wife is mostly worried about my sister in law and her mental and physical ability to cope with the demands. We are looking into a nurse who will come in for 1 24-hour period each week to let my sister in law go visit her friends. Plus we are looking into a daily or every-other-day nurse visit for about 90 minutes to 2 hours to let my sister in law go to the store, or just sit down and read a book or whatever she wants/needs.

What I believe is that there is no way one person can do the job that is being asked of her, and which she has volunteered to do. It is just too much.

Currmudgeon · Oct 18, 2004

It's your SIL and her mental and physical ability to cope that I'm concerned about. The visiting nurse makes a lot of sense. If she tries to do it alone, she will become a cinder and become unable to assist your MIL.

( What I believe is that there is no way one person can do the job that is being asked of her, and which she has volunteered to do. It is just too much.)

Exactly.

Sometimes, you've just gotta be a little selfish. It allows you to survive to be selfless later.

Bird · Oct 18, 2004

Bob, I don't have any answers for you, but I can sure sympathize. I know it's going to be a tough job for several members of the family. Our family has had a lot of similar experiences the last 10 years. My youngest brother and his wife had her mother, a bedfast invalid, living with them for 5 years. My mother-in-law lived with one of my wife's brothers for 9 years, but they finally had to put her in a nursing home nearly 3 years ago. Of course, we moved my parents' mobile home next to ours and we had to care for them there until Dad's Alzheimer's got so bad that we had to put him in a nursing home the last 4 months of his life, and 3 weeks after he died, my mother fell and broke a hip, and has been either in bed or a wheelchair now for 7 years. We moved back to town and got her into a nursing home nearly 2 years ago and while I spend a great deal of time running back and forth nearly every day, it's been easier on us and more importantly she found that she likes that better than living with any of the family because she's made friends with people her own age and the nursing home has lots of activities she can participate in; weekly ice cream socials, birthday parties, bingo, bible study and church services, "group" crossword puzzles, beauty shop, exercise, etc.

I know a lot of old and/or disabled folks do NOT want to go to a nursing home, but if they are careful in selecting one, they might find they like it better. And of course most of us don't want to put our parents into a nursing home because of the horror stories everyone has heard about them. I did a lot of research on the Internet and then visited 5 nursing homes before selecting the one we did. I've no doubt there are some bad ones, but there are also some good ones with good people working in them.

I wish you the best of luck with whichever route you take.

Bob_Skurka · Oct 18, 2004

Well a new option has emerged. My brother in law announced today that he and his wife will probably move into the MIL's house with my sister in law.

That concept has been totally dismissed in the past. The skeptic and cynical jerk that I am wonders if perhaps the fact that he needs some financial support is not part of the reason for him contemplating the move. But even if that is part of the reason it really doesn't matter because it will allow my MIL to stay in her home, my sister in law to remain near her friends and that is what both of them want. When I left to fly home to Chicago yesterday, I put out a couple of different budgets for them to consider. Perhaps my brother in law saw that my budget was very likely close to accurate and that his was so far from realistic as to be a joke? Perhaps the financial reality of some of what was discussed hit home? Honestly I don't know.

My brother in law's wife is a nice lady, she can be a big help to my sister in law. Financially, I suspect that if my brother in law sells his house and moves into the parents house, then they will be able to support the household for quite some time. I also suspect that at some point there will be issues, but those will likely arise after my mother in law is gone. If they all chose to fight over the assets, then they can have at it. My wife has done a fine job of staying out of the asset fray all along and really figures that her sister deserves anything that is left over, if anything is left at all.

So now we may not need an elevator. And personally I hope we don't. As neither my MIL or my sister in law want to leave their home, I hope it can be worked out that they get to stay.

Bird · Oct 19, 2004

If brother-in-law, his wife, and the sister-in-law who is now caring for your mother-in-law get along well, that sure sounds like a good solution. And I agree with your wife. If my wife's brother had handled her parents' finances differently, and if my sister had handled my mother's differently, we probably would have inherited a bit from both our parents, but as it is, we'll inherit nothing, and that's just fine. We figure they earned anything they get.

wroughtn_harv · Oct 19, 2004

That sounds great Bob. I don't think any of us would want to go live in someone else's house and be a burden.

A friend of mine is taking his two daughters to NYC for a weekend. To take in a couple of Broadway shows and have a generally great night on the town. The older one questioned his being able to afford such an event.

He just smiled. "I'd rather spend it with you than leave it for you to spend without me" was his reply. He's wise beyond his years.

GerardC · Oct 19, 2004

( He just smiled. "I'd rather spend it with you than leave it for you to spend without me" was his reply. He's wise beyond his years.)

My Mother is the exact same way. She said that she would rather see "us" enjoy it while she is still alive. We have a great time together. Gerard

Currmudgeon · Oct 20, 2004

( "I'd rather spend it with you than leave it for you to spend without me" was his reply. )

Someone once described the ideal financial situation as, "Earn all you can. Give all you can. Spend all you can. Your last check should bounce."

Frank Surber · Jan 15, 2013

12 to 15 years ago I made a small wheel chair lift for a VFW Hall their hall had 2 steps up to the bar area and several members in wheel chairs no room to install ramp with the proper slope but an extra wide stair
The lift is fairly simple to construct just a small hyd. cylinder and a very small pump unit a couple of cables some pulleys and steel