Ethics on clearing neighbor's drive ways and private lane

[2ndhalf]

I get that totally, describes me to a degree, probably most people who've gotten what they have "the hard way".
Got a neighbor for whom I'll plow out the last 10' of his driveway to the road for when we have a decent-sized storm. He's specifically asked me not to do the whole thing, I'm sure he doesn't want to feel indebted to me. He does woodworking as a sideline and every year gives me several boxes of wood scraps for kindling, his wife will sometimes give us some stuff she's baked. We're even as far as I'm concerned.
Maybe same thing with Slim's neighbor, though she handled it rather rudely.

Yes some of the older generation especially are very self sufficient and proud; not a bad thing. I had a neighbor lady in her 60s who did not get around well at all; her husband had passed away and I started mowing her yard and plowing her drive.

I could tell she felt bad about me mowing her yard and so we settled on $10 for the fuel and that it did not have to be every time I mowed. I think she felt better with that. It was about a 2 acre lot. I mowed it up until we moved.

 

[tcreeley]

I was plowing myself out, cold snowy and I was tired. A neighbor up the road stopped to say that when I was done here, I could come up and do his drive. Then he drove away. I never went up. Had no intention to. There is always someone in the book he could call.

Another neighbor pulled into the drive one day, dropping his new plow as he did. He was so proud of himself. He pushed the snow 40 feet and stopped. I was using a walk behind snow blower at the time. He added to my work by giving me packed snow to deal with.

 

[John Fitzgerald]

I have mowed neighbors overgrown yards several times over the years, seldom even a thank you. I probably saved a couple of them a $100 citation from the town.

 

[cabover4us]

We live on my private road in upstate New York and have 5 other neighbors, empty house next door, two more mobile homes with two more regular homes up on the end junction with route 22.
We are back from a neighboring town, bought my parents in law's home, back home for two winter's, and years ago we all helped snow plowing and summer filling holes and grading. Now, that's all changed, people on end moving, only one other person other than I work and earn a living. So, it's me..
This was a heavy year along with last buying more equipment to maintain road and winter snow. I try not to rely on anybody other than my wife Deborah of 38 years, she is a blessing since I'm gone for five days with my job. Shes been taking care of the plowing in my absence.
Cathy up the road has her step father's JD 855 tractor with Curtis Cab snow plow and heat. Between the two of us and Deborah we get the job done . We take care of the road and Cathy and Hank, (neighbor across the field) helps keep everyone plowed out so far.
But this last huge storm hit when I was home, and while blasting the road, mother and daughter at end of road were shoveling and she approached me to ask to plow them out....
Said ok will push out few lines turned into completely plowing the whole place like Francis used to.. she said she would pay, I said no, no problem, she said their moving this spring. Four to five passes on road and go home at end, and I thought how can I go back home and not hit all these other homes. Even plowed out vacant home next door for the FedEx and UPS deliveries. Just a working older guy here really can't afford to get sued into tomorrow.
Love to be a helper as long as recipient pulls some weight.
I have a 1987 JD 855 myself but no cab, open to the wonderful New England weather. Have Woodmax SB-60 mounted on that, late last summer bought new Yanmar YT235 this will replace the JD. But reading this whole blog is scaring me to death, what if I hit something or damage property. Don't want to be someone's lottery. Am I under estimating the liability that I have been escaping so far. Unfortunately not alot of income generating on our road, but we are surviving. Trying to be respectful of my neighbor's different economic situations, hope you all understand.

 

[mark02tj]

I was plowing myself out, cold snowy and I was tired. A neighbor up the road stopped to say that when I was done here, I could come up and do his drive. Then he drove away. I never went up. Had no intention to. There is always someone in the book he could call.

Another neighbor pulled into the drive one day, dropping his new plow as he did. He was so proud of himself. He pushed the snow 40 feet and stopped. I was using a walk behind snow blower at the time. He added to my work by giving me packed snow to deal with.

Back when I lived in the 'burbs I would do my driveway and the driveway of the older couple next door. There was another older couple across the street and their daughter and her family lived several houses down the street. One year we had some pretty significant snow and I did my driveway and my neighbor's. The grandson of the couple across the street was trying to do his grandparents driveway with a new (POS) snowblower that his dad had bought. He was having some trouble so I went over to see what was going on. A bunch of the bolts on the new blower were coming loose and some were missing. Whoever (dad?) put the blower together failed to tighten things up and had never heard of LockTite. I was helping the kid and the dad (corporate attorney) drives up wanting to know what's going on. I told him and he says "looks like you've got it under control so I'm going to head into work." And off he goes! No "thank you", no nothing. What an a-hole! His wife divorced him about a year later as she got tired of his "stuff". I ended up just clearing the old couple's driveway for the next few years until they both passed away.

 

[plowhog]

There are folks who really, really don't like 'owing' anyone.

I am one of "those" people. Too many times, I've learned that seemingly generous efforts by others instead have a hidden "string" attached that (in their view) puts you in their debt. That is not where I want to be. Usually long after their generous effort, the other party will pop up and want something. Sometimes reasonable and sometimes not. If you don't agree, out comes their laundry list of all the wonderful things they have done for you-- letting you know that it is you who owes them, and what a rotten person you are for denying what they want after the good things they have done. It doesn't happen often, but even so, I find it simpler just to avoid all of that by trying not to accept favors.

A truly generous act, with no expectation in return, is a wonderful thing. There are many examples of that cited here. But it's very hard to sort out when and who is going to attach a string to a good deed.

 

[BigBlue1]

I am one of "those" people. Too many times, I've learned that seemingly generous efforts by others instead have a hidden "string" attached that (in their view) puts you in their debt. That is not where I want to be. Usually long after their generous effort, the other party will pop up and want something. Sometimes reasonable and sometimes not. If you don't agree, out comes their laundry list of all the wonderful things they have done for you-- letting you know that it is you who owes them, and what a rotten person you are for denying what they want after the good things they have done. It doesn't happen often, but even so, I find it simpler just to avoid all of that by trying not to accept favors.

A truly generous act, with no expectation in return, is a wonderful thing. There are many examples of that cited here. But it's very hard to sort out when and who is going to attach a string to a good deed.

I guess I've lucked out over my 48 years... I don't recall ever encountering someone like that. My friends who do me favors truly do them out of generosity and I'm usually helping 'acquaintances' instead of getting anything from them. Though folks have told me I'm too easy-going when it comes to accepting other peoples' bad actions, so who knows.

Rob

 

[mcj115]

Reading this tread begs me to ask... Why do folks choose to live in snow country on properties and not choose to be sufficient (either retaining a plowing contractor or having the equipment to do it themselves)? It seems to me there are some folks who choose to be "helpless."

I wonder if this may actually be a little generational. In my subdivision there (2-6 acre plots) it seems some younger folks choose to get contractors for everything ( lawncare, plumbing, landscaping, etc) and don't want to own the asset of equipment, it kind seems like a millennial mentality. I'd rather own the asset and be able to do it myself rather than having things outside of my control --but that is probably most folks who visit this board. My mentality with equipment and most thing that I purchase is to identify what my equipment meets my needs, then buy one step larger; rarely do I get into a situation that I can't fix myself and save a lot by not hiring out jobs.

There is a second type of people who but the zero turn mowers which are great for cutting larger lawns, but are a one trick pony in terms of their ability ( mowing only, no snow removal).

 

[lilranch2001]

You say one trick pony, I say a very efficient piece of mowing equipment.
I save 3-4 hours a week in mowing my property.
Extrapolate that out 24-25 times per year, times the 17 years I have had it, and it has more than paid for itself a couple of times in just my time I have saved.
I guess it all depends on what you think you and your time is worth

 

[bkrgi]

Helping others is great but those others also need to give there time in helping others creating a full circle of people helping people.
There is no free ride at all with the exception say of elderly or disabled who have contributed/pulled their weight over there course of time.
Giving free anything to anyone just disables them even more....the rot of Socialism....

Paying it Forward should be all apart of the deal of giving and one day hopefully the giver will receive it back in spades.
Keep giving and teach others to give to others with zero expectation and teach the receiver that they must pay it forward in some act of kindness......maybe then we can get rid of some of the rot that is prevalent in today's Society

Last thought is I'll say THANKS to all you folks that continue to do these random acts of kindness

:dance1: