exchange students

   / exchange students #1  

WTA

Platinum Member
Joined
Aug 31, 2007
Messages
750
This is our second year hosting exchange students. Last year we had a 16 year old boy from Germany and he did great here. Right from the start he did his best to fit in both at home and at school. I had to teach him a thing or two about responsibility and American ethics but he was a fast learner. He also learned how to milk a goat, how to castrate them, how to ride and trust a horse on roundups and trailrides when we are walking on little narrow cow trails on the edge of a cliff. He kept his room relatively clean for a 16 year old and was never late for dinner. He actually gained 40 pounds during his 10 months here. He was a lot of fun to have in our home.

This year we volunteered for one and got stuck with another that had a problem coming to America and went to the wrong state. He insisted on coming to Texas because he thought it never got cold down here! That was a big mistake! One is from a former Soviet country in East Asia and the other is from Vietnam. Both of them asked to come to our home knowing full well what they were getting into on a working farm and knowing that they would be expected to do chores.

It only took a couple days with each of them before they realized they don't get maid service here and my wife isn't going to clean their toilet for them. Basic rules of the farm irritate them like rule number 1 especially.

The animals are taken care of and fed before we sit down to eat. No matter what the weather is! I guess all the animals just feed themselves in their countries.

Rule number 2 in my house is that all other daily chores will be done before dinner. We've been waiting to eat because of them but now more.

Rule number 3 is that my wife is not their maid! My wife is a doctor and is also handicapped and is NOT going to pick up after a teenage boy.

These simple rules are driving the kids nuts and they have actually called their organization to complain about how unfair it all is. They keep forgetting they signed on for this and knew everything about us up front. There haven't been any surprises.

We are really having problems now. The weather is getting colder, wetter and they don't want to get up in time to catch the bus because their 10 minutes worth of chores the night before just wore them out so bad. I told them they are walking the next time they miss it. It's only 5 miles. Most of us here used to do that barefoot in the snow and uphill both ways too right???:rolleyes:
They also refuse to dress appropriately for the weather. Sandals in 40 degree wet manure covered horse paddocks can't be fun but they seem to enjoy it. :eek: The one from Vietnam is scared to death of the cold because he's never seen cold before but he doesn't want to buy some warm boots. Go figure. He did just spend nearly a thousand bucks on a computer though.

Tonight they are going to both have an 8 oclock bedtime because my wife had to be late for work this morning after they got up late again and she took them to school. They said it was too cold to get out of bed. It was still 68 degrees in the living room but they refuse to open their doors at night and let the heat in. They never fed the animals this morning either before they left. One was supposed to do the chickens and one the goats. Boy that's hard work.

I already had to take the internet away from one of them completely for reasons I don't even want to get into. The other one has his time severely limited now because he would rather get online than talk to us. That bugs me!

I keep asking both of them to come out of their rooms and spend family time with the rest of us too but they would rather not. It really bothers me that we might be out working in this weather, My wife included, and they would rather be sleeping. I also ask them constantly to leave their doors open so the heat can circulate. We always heat the house with the wood stove till it get's below freezing. Then I fire up the 2 furnaces. They use propane and at a rate of 500 gallons a month on average I don't use them unless I have to. We have a really big old farm house that used to be a church. Our living room is huge and heats real good with just the stove. I had it up to 80 degrees last night when it was 41 outside so I consider that warm enough. The bedrooms warm up good too if doors are left open. I guess tonight they will just have to get cold again if they don't listen to me.

These kids are becoming experts now at finding excuses to get out of doing chores. We are just so mean for asking them to feed the chickens in the rain. One of them faked an earache last night and the other tried to tell me he had too much homework. He said that while he was playing a game on his computer.

I'm almost at my breaking point with all the laziness. It's about time they go live with someone else in the city or just go home. Last year our student pulled his own weight. This year it's like I'm paying to feed a horse I can't ride.

For what it's worth, My son is 15 and works harder than he should around here probably. He's a good kid normally. He's homeschooled now because I can't stand our local school system but we are up to that task a lot more than the school is anyway. We certainly have the education to do it.

I have a good understanding of different cultures and beliefs I think. I've lived in 3 countries, 4 if you want to count Guantanamo bay, 19 states and either been in the military or been a dependent all my life. I have seriously been to every continent and so many countries I can't even keep track anymore. I can certainly understand how a kid used to eating dogs for dinner may have problems feeding mine but this is America and he came here to learn about our culture I thought.

If any of you have read all of this and have kids then count your blessings they were raised in America. The work ethics your kids are learning, especially if you are on a farm, will prepare them for a much better life. I almost feel sorry for the kids in a lot of other countries now. From what I have learned with all these exchange students, Ours are much better off. Both of our kids this year had maids back home and never even had to clean their own rooms before. My son is 15, can overhaul an engine without supervision, drive any truck or tractor out there, change his own flat tire, weld and any other farm related chore. He's still learning to clean his room but he can be trusted.
These kids better find good jobs so they can afford a maid is all I can say. And a butler and personal driver. They think they are smarter than my kid but they are not. My kid takes the same school lessons at home that they do in school but he is also learning how to take care of himself! And his family when he has one.

There are a couple things I do really enjoy about these two exchange students though.

We never had much reason to laugh at the dinner table before but watching someone try to eat mashed potatoes with gravy using chop sticks really gets me laughing. Putting catchup on everything like he does makes me sick but it's still funny. He put catchup on a PBJ sandwich. I'm not kidding. I just wish he'd stop looking at my dog like he does!
 
   / exchange students
  • Thread Starter
#2  
One thing I forgot to add is that both of the kids this year thought we were getting paid for having them. WRONG! They are both from different organizations. One is a US government scholarship program and the other with a private organization. That one had to pay a lot of money to come here and thought it all went to us. I wish! We do this totally for free other than a 50 dollar per month tax credit. That isn't much considering the price of raising a kid these days. Food and Fuel taking them everywhere alone add up to many times that 50 bucks every month. I told them we do this out of the kindness of our hearts and they can't believe it.
 
   / exchange students #3  
"Know when to hold them, know when to fold them and know when to walk away."

Time to have them move on.
Bob
 
   / exchange students #4  
WTA

My daughter-in-law operated an agency for exchenge students and made a lot of money. After listening to the problems she had and the results I would recommend that you contact the host organization and request that the students be withdrawn and found more compatible hosts, if they can. Let them fight the problems. They are making good money out of it.

Vernon
 
   / exchange students #5  
What agency sponsors them? We had a nice girl from Germany two years ago, and other than difficulty getting used to the lack of public transportation things went generally well. She came here under Youth for Understanding. That organization was very supportive.
 
   / exchange students #6  
Our youngest daughter, who was divorced at the time and had a 6 year old son, had an exchange student from Finland for the '95-96 school year. Maybe it was just luck, but she quickly became one of the family and helped with the housework, cooking, and babysitting. She enjoyed the experience and all the family were glad to have her. And they've stayed in touch since then. In fact, she and her son have been here twice in the last year. And our daughter and her husband plan to go visit over there next year.
 
   / exchange students #7  
It's a 50/50 bet on these folks. I guess it's kinda like our kids. My wife is a local representative. She had one that went to a family and life is good. The other is a challenge. Each of them had to be relocated; the one was host family problem not the teen. They were told "that's it" no more moves or its back home to Germany and Japan.
 
   / exchange students
  • Thread Starter
#8  
We,ve had pretty poor response from the organization through everything this year. They are keeping in touch now though. We almost told them to move both of the kids a couple weeks ago but decided to see if we can stick it out a while and see if things get better. I doubt it will now. I'm making both of them go to bed at 8:30 tonight and they are mad about that. It's their fault for not getting up in the morning though. They must not be getting enough sleep. I did call today and tell the organization it's not getting better, and why. We'll see what they do now.
 
   / exchange students #9  
We have hosted 4 exchange students, Great, Good, Bad & Ugly. In that order! NO MORE! We also interacted with other host families and their range of experiences mirrored ours.

The last one we had removed from our home. The Programs will want to fight you on this since it is a major hassle for them to relocate a student. If your issues are irreconcilable then you need to get firm with the program and tell them to pick them up or you will deliver.

Jack
 
   / exchange students #10  
What, I thought it was only American kids that were fat, dumb, lazy and spoiled! All I hear is how bad our kids are. :eek: Just like us. :eek:

Never believed that BS for a minute. :D

My guess is that a kid, especially from a former Soviet country and Viet Nam, has to be part of the elite back home if they can get here on one of these programs. Especially if it costs money to get them here. If they have English language skills they are not an average child in those countries. Back home do they have servants taking care of them?

I'm surprised about the money issue. I did not realize that these Exchange Programs were expensive.

My oldest daughter had a problem getting up and ready for school during her First grade year. It was h....l. We had a long drive to get to school and every minute we were late would cause me to get stuck in traffic that would cost a few more minutes of time. It took a good six months of me having to play DI first thing in the morning. :eek: Not something I wanted to do but had to do. Now I tell her to get up she generally pops right out of bed, eats breakfast and gets ready for school. She is almost always ready before I am. :D

Me following her around the house telling her to do this, do that, hurry up, you are taking too long, move move move, solved the problem. :D Twas ugly but it worked. It was the ONLY thing that worked. Now if she or her sister are not doing what they are told I just say do you want me to act like a DI? That USUALLY but not always gets them moving. :eek::D:D:D:D

Later,
Dan
 

Tractor & Equipment Auctions

JOHN DEERE 1725 CCS (A53084)
JOHN DEERE 1725...
2014 Gillig G27B102N4 31+56 Low Floor Passenger Bus (A50323)
2014 Gillig...
2010 Ford Edge SE SUV (A51694)
2010 Ford Edge SE...
Kinze 2600 16 x 31 Row Planter (A52349)
Kinze 2600 16 x 31...
377671 (A51573)
377671 (A51573)
2010 Ford Edge SE SUV (A51694)
2010 Ford Edge SE...
 
Top