Father left this world

[Sigarms]

My dad was discharged from WW2 at Indian Town Gap.
RIP to your father.

Thank you.

My 3 uncles served in WW2, and are all buried at the Gap as well.

The running joke with my dad was that when the Korean war hit, he originally wanted to join the Army. His 3 older brothers who came back from WW2 told him they would kick his ass if he joined the Army, so he joined the Air Force.

 

[Sigarms]

Picked up the death certificate over the weekend.

Immediate cause of death respiratory failure. Secondary, Right lower lobe pneumonia.

This is the funny part... Question on the certificate asks if tobacco use contributed to death. Answer - Probably.

The guy lived to the ripe old age of 90, and he stopped smoking close to 50 years ago when he got out of the service. Go figure.

 

[2manyrocks]

The role of family historian fell on me.

A person's life as they are perceived to have lived is sometimes summed up in their obituaries...sometimes in the eulogy given for them at their memorial service. I'd suggest that you consider recording the eulogy for future generations who didn't know your father, but who might wonder who your father really was and what was said about his life. If it's particularly descriptive, I'd probably have it transcribed into writing because recording media and playback devices tend to fail over time, but paper has a long life if properly stored.

That...and also suggest making notes of your own recollections and photos because that will help others down the road to know who he was and his importance to you.

 

[MossRoad]

Picked up the death certificate over the weekend.

Immediate cause of death respiratory failure. Secondary, Right lower lobe pneumonia.

This is the funny part... Question on the certificate asks if tobacco use contributed to death. Answer - Probably.

The guy lived to the ripe old age of 90, and he stopped smoking close to 50 years ago when he got out of the service. Go figure.

My father’s cause of death was listed as congestive heart failure.

He got congestive heart failure because he developed amyloidosis.

He developed amyloidosis because he had multiple myeloma cancer.

We all know the cancer started it, but it’s what finished him that’s listed as the cause of death.

Some too soon. Some in the blink of an eye. And some that get horrible suffering. It has nothing to do with if you’re a good or evil person. Hence, the appearance of the unfairness, when, in reality, it’s a crap shoot as to what kills you. Eventually, life gets us all.

 

[Sigarms]

The role of family historian fell on me.

A person's life as they are perceived to have lived is sometimes summed up in their obituaries...sometimes in the eulogy given for them at their memorial service. I'd suggest that you consider recording the eulogy for future generations who didn't know your father, but who might wonder who your father really was and what was said about his life. If it's particularly descriptive, I'd probably have it transcribed into writing because recording media and playback devices tend to fail over time, but paper has a long life if properly stored.

That...and also suggest making notes of your own recollections and photos because that will help others down the road to know who he was and his importance to you.

Funny you say that.

My dads parents and moms parents came off a boat in the early 1900's, and the reality is most of the family knows nothing about our past history before, say, 1905-1910.

We know the countries they came from and perhaps why, but not all the details.

My mom and her mother visited "Russia" back around 1975 (known as "the old country") What I remember is that a member of the government was with them at all times, and they actually did visit family there. I really wish I knew now to keep and preserve the information they collected back then.

The reality is when my dads parents came off the boat in the early 1900's, we had 2 different last name "changes" by 1940. The idea was to make the last name more easy to read and pronounced in the English language.

I've said this before here... My grandparents came to the US and they didn't have a pot to piss in. Both of my grandfathers died at a early age due to working in the coal mines. That said, some of their kids "made it". Those grandparents sacrificed themselves so their families could do better. Interesting concept today... (although I don't try to lose that on my son).

Sidenote, talked to my aunt yesterday. She is a good woman, but is 94 now. She mentioned that the Orthodox church in America does not believe in cremation. I was nice, but it was hard LOL (my dad was cremated per his own wishes after he saw the advantages when he went to his brothers funeral).

Thing is, some religions don't think you can go to the heaven as you understand it if you don't follow their "religious" rules. Exactly where in the Bible does it say you can't be creamated? Sorry, off on a tangent LMAO

 

[Sigarms]

Some in the blink of an eye. And some that get horrible suffering.

I had a 44 year old cousin die of Leukemia.

I had a 68 year old uncle die of Lung cancer (he smoked regularly).

Is it God who determines how you die or your own actions?

The irony is to some religions, suicide is a sin. If you know you're going to die, why not make the determination yourself? Would a loving God hold it against you to speed up the process on your own terms?

 

[Sigarms]

Yep. It's been my experience with the VA and family members is they are a killing machine. Don't go there unless you plan on dying. And you'll probably have to wait for hours. At least you'll get a free burial though.

I sincerely hope you're being facetious.

As Moss said, everything is a roll of the dice sometimes.

Back in the 90's, I followed the military doctors advice over the civilians doctors advice per orthopedics, and I'm glad I did.

For most of my fathers life he used the VA. He lived until 90. What more do you want?

Like any large organization, as I've said before, it doesn't come to the organization as a whole, but the people you work with.

Reality is if a medical professional made a mistake with my father at age 90 and it killed him, giving where my dad was at mentally vs his body, I'd be more thankful than looking for a lawsuit.

 

[kevin37b]

You did all you could do . You cannot defeat age . Kevin .

 

[2manyrocks]

Funny you say that.

My dads parents and moms parents came off a boat in the early 1900's, and the reality is most of the family knows nothing about our past history before, say, 1905-1910.

We know the countries they came from and perhaps why, but not all the details.

My mom and her mother visited "Russia" back around 1975 (known as "the old country") What I remember is that a member of the government was with them at all times, and they actually did visit family there. I really wish I knew now to keep and preserve the information they collected back then.

The reality is when my dads parents came off the boat in the early 1900's, we had 2 different last name "changes" by 1940. The idea was to make the last name more easy to read and pronounced in the English language.

I've said this before here... My grandparents came to the US and they didn't have a pot to piss in. Both of my grandfathers died at a early age due to working in the coal mines. That said, some of their kids "made it". Those grandparents sacrificed themselves so their families could do better. Interesting concept today... (although I don't try to lose that on my son).

Sidenote, talked to my aunt yesterday. She is a good woman, but is 94 now. She mentioned that the Orthodox church in America does not believe in cremation. I was nice, but it was hard LOL (my dad was cremated per his own wishes after he saw the advantages when he went to his brothers funeral).

Thing is, some religions don't think you can go to the heaven as you understand it if you don't follow their "religious" rules. Exactly where in the Bible does it say you can't be creamated? Sorry, off on a tangent LMAO

Family histories are imperfect. Document what you know because the next generation won't know anything except what you write down for them. Given enough time, people forget what they've been told. If it's important or interesting, write it down.

My aunt kept one short newspaper clipping about the death of a cousin in WWII that led to me researching more about his life. If it were not for that one newspaper clipping, I wouldn't have had any place to start.

Many family photographs containing significant historical information and clues get thrown out because later generations have no clue about who is in the photograph or their significance to family history. For example, you may easily know who is in a photo from 1960, when the photo was made, where it was made... and it's significance but future generations may not have the first clue unless you fill in the blanks for them.

If they don't understand the importance of something, they tend to throw it away.

I have photos going back to the early 1900s. There came a point when I realized that I may be one of the few people who can still identify the people in these photographs. That led to me organizing the photos, identifying the people and then writing about what I knew so their stories just didn't disappear.

You have an obvious talent for communication and attention to detail. Make a list of information and stories you want to share with future generations. Fill in the blanks for them as best you can.

 

[Sigarms]

You did all you could do . You cannot defeat age . Kevin .

Understood. End of the day, I'm more happy for my father than sad for myself.

 

[Tinhack]

For most of my fathers life he used the VA. He lived until 90

As did my dad. And six of my uncles. They all passed away at a VA hospital. My dad passed in 2010 at the age of 87. My mom is still with us at age 97.

 

[MossRoad]

I had a 44 year old cousin die of Leukemia.

I had a 68 year old uncle die of Lung cancer (he smoked regularly).

Is it God who determines how you die or your own actions?

The irony is to some religions, suicide is a sin. If you know you're going to die, why not make the determination yourself? Would a loving God hold it against you to speed up the process on your own terms?

Don’t want to go there.

I’ve told this before, when my dad was dying, I told him if he was my dog I’d have put him down weeks ago. He laughed and said it wasn’t so bad. So he got to make his own decisions.

 

[Hay Dude]

Sorry to hear about your dad.
I lost mine much too young 10 years ago.
It sucks and still hurts today

 

[dstig1]

Just saw this. Sorry to hear of your loss, Sig. It seems like it went fairly fast and you are handling it well, and that is about all you can hope for in the end.

 

[cqaigy2]

Sorry to hear of your father's passing. Take comfort in knowing you did all you could for him, I'm sure he was very proud of you. May good memories carry you forward.

 

[Sigarms]

Make a list of information and stories you want to share with future generations. Fill in the blanks for them as best you can.

Most of the pictures from the 30's though early 60's, I'm kind of lost. 70's to present not to bad. You make a some great points.

Cleaned out my dads wallet. My son asked me if he could have it. Apparently my father had some pictures laminated and kept hidden that I missed, but my son found them. One was of this one. It was taken at Manhattan Beach Air Station. Knew nothing about the picture, why it was taken, nor anything about the base because my dad never mentioned anything about it (apparently it operated between 1954 and 1959).

Here is the cool thing about this pic that my son loves... The ring worn on his right hand in the picture is the same ring he gave his gave my son a couple of years ago. He loves the fact that he now has a pic of his grandfather wearing the same ring over 60 years ago. I told him to hold onto that picture and when he has a son someday, perhaps he can give the same ring with picture.

 

[2manyrocks]

That's a perfect example of what I was attempting to say.

Those spots on the photo can be easily removed with a spot removal/clone/healing tool in a variety of photo editing and scanning software programs.

 

[Sigarms]

That's a perfect example of what I was attempting to say.

Those spots on the photo can be easily removed with a spot removal/clone/healing tool in a variety of photo editing and scanning software programs.

I understand. Part of the job on my end is my dad was one of 10 (I always though 11 until I worked on his obit) and my mom was one of 12. My parents probably have thousands and thousands of pictures in my basement from starting from the 1930's. I'll include some of them in his celebration of life presentation on the computer that we put up on a screen via projector.

One story I do have... My dad being the short boy, and my two uncles (the one on the right lated followed my other uncle into the Army for WW2). These were the two who threatened to kick my dad's butt if he enlisted in the Army during the Korean war. My father wanted to follow in their footsteps in the Army, but they convinced him otherwise (both are buried at the Gap as well).

Funny thing about the little girl. I always thought she was my aunt growing up. Wasn't until my 30's I found out she was actually my cousin. Her mother (really my aunt) married a abusive husband who drank. My grandfather and my two older uncles (not in the pic) went with my grandfather, took her out of the abusive house and apparently gave the guy the same treatment and told him the marriage was done.

Funny thing, some of my uncles we're actually pretty tall. Dad always joke he was the runt of the family toping out at 5'2" LOL

On a side note, what I find amazing is my dads family really was dirt poor. I'm always amazed at where they found the money for clothes because it

 

[tradosaurus]

I had a 44 year old cousin die of Leukemia.
I had a 68 year old uncle die of Lung cancer (he smoked regularly).

Is it God who determines how you die or your own actions?

The irony is to some religions, suicide is a sin. If you know you're going to die, why not make the determination yourself? Would a loving God hold it against you to speed up the process on your own terms?

Sorry to hear about your fathers passing. My father, a WW2 vet, died back in 1998 of lung cancer having smoked most of his life.
If you believe in a God then only He can knows the time and place of one's death.
So someone who murdered themselves (suicide) might have gotten better and lived years more.
Now if someone dies because of something they did (smoking, obesity, etc) then could that be considered a slow form of suicide?

 

[workinonit]

Sorry to hear about your father. I dealt with 10+ years of my dad post stroke before he passed away in 2019 after many falls. Mom died 6 months later after many falls as well. It's tough to witness.