From a Dog's Diary...

[Richard]

I read this on another forum, thought I'd copy/share. I got a kick out of it. (I have both dogs & cats)




From a dog’s diary …………

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

From a cat’s diary ……………

This is the 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. B@st@rds.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow – but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

 

[oosik]

Ha, ha - that is good!! My cats have always been kept outside. I don't want to hear all their bitching. My dogs have always been kept inside - their comments are appreciated.

 

[Sigarms]

For whatever reason, the 4 legged idiots who refuse to use the indoor sandbox to relieve themselves inside this jail ignore me when I'm stuck inside these 4 walls...

However, once my captors in this jail release me into my world, all bets are off with those 4 legged idiots who ignored me while I was in my cell as they seem to want me for a snack...

 

[MoKelly]

That was fantastic!

Our cat (inside only) acts like an abused prisoner but has worked out a compromise with my wife:

- new water in bowl at 7am and 2pm and 7pm. He cannot under any circumstances drink stale water

- food bowl can NEVER have the bottom showing. EVER. The silver bottom causes him eye fatigue

- periodic release onto the screen porch whenever he walks to the door, looks up and says “meow”

- ability to sleep whenever and wherever he wants with no distractions or noises

- ability to wake us up whenever with the loudest MEOW he can muster. Then walk slowly to the screen porch door, look up and say “meow”

- daily scooping of the sand box and disposing remains in a sealed container no closer than 100 feet from the sand box

- getting cheek rubs and ability to show us his behind whenever and wherever he wants. Working on computer - yep. Watching TV - yep. Going to sleep - yep.

All this was fine and accepted. Now, all of a sudden, we are getting pop up stuff on our phones that advertise a website called “cats don’t have owners, they have staff”! He couldn’t have - could he????

MoKelly

 

[MoKelly]

Here is the cute little thing!

 

[Richard]

Gotta love all those furballs

 

[MoKelly]

Ha ha! That is a keeper pic.

Sometimes you really have to wonder what are they thinking!

MoKelly

 

[oosik]

That's why I provided food, water & shelter for the cats - outside.

 

[Jstpssng]

You know what they say... lock your dog and your cat into a closet for the day(separately of course). When you let them out see which is glad to see you, and who comes strolling leisurely out like it was their idea. And that food bowl had better be full!

 

[Sigarms]

You know what they say... lock your dog and your cat into a closet for the day(separately of course). When you let them out see which is glad to see you, and who comes strolling leisurely out like it was their idea. And that food bowl had better be full!

I always heard it as they say lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for a day, open the trunk day later, and see who is glad to see you

 

[hube2]

- food bowl can NEVER have the bottom showing. EVER. The silver bottom causes him eye fatigue

That one made me laugh because one of our cats, if he can see the bottom of the bowl, will pace from the bowl to the nearest person, give a pathetic sounding meow and then pace back and will not stop until someone puts some food in the bowl.

 

[Jstpssng]

I always heard it as they say lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for a day, open the trunk day later, and see who is glad to see you

That's true also.

 

[MoKelly]

That one made me laugh because one of our cats, if he can see the bottom of the bowl, will pace from the bowl to the nearest person, give a pathetic sounding meow and then pace back and will not stop until someone puts some food in the bowl.

They are special creatures.

My wife wants to get one of those waterfall bowls for the cat so we don’t have to always change his water.

Gee whiz. Our dog would go for a walk and drink 3 day old rain water from a crack in the street. The cat can’t drink 4 hour old water from the faucet in a silver bowl.

MoKelly

 

[oosik]

It was time to pick and brush the tiny burrs out of Brownies hair. It took longer than he liked.

 

[ArlyA]

This is cute thread. When our now elder dog was a pup, we started a blog for her. Its largely photos of whatever she'd been doing. We now have a younger dog who today, get his photos on it more often.. Its been visited well over 100,000 times. Here it is.

 

[hube2]

My wife wants to get one of those waterfall bowls for the cat so we don’t have to always change his water.

We have one of these and it's good except for changing the filters. Cat's actually drink more now than they used to which is better for them.

 

[MoKelly]

We have one of these and it's good except for changing the filters. Cat's actually drink more now than they used to which is better for them.

Good information. Thanks.

For all the teasing we do love our little kitty.

MoKelly

 

[Sigarms]

For all the teasing we do love our little kitty.

Yesterday. Only cat in 15 years here that spends time on the first floor because of the dogs...

Only about the 2nd cat I've had that acts more along the lines of a dog. He sleeps next to my wife on the desk while the dogs sleep on dogbeds below the desk LOL

Tried to find him a home when we found him walking when he was a kitten, with another cats life slowly coming to an end, pretty certain my wife is glad we couldn't find him a home.

 

[MoKelly]

Yesterday. Only cat in 15 years here that spends time on the first floor because of the dogs...

View attachment 704494View attachment 704498
Only about the 2nd cat I've had that acts more along the lines of a dog. He sleeps next to my wife on the desk while the dogs sleep on dogbeds below the desk LOL

Tried to find him a home when we found him walking when he was a kitten, with another cats life slowly coming to an end, pretty certain my wife is glad we couldn't find him a home.

That dryer picture is priceless!! So cute. Their curiosity is amazing.

I have to admit, back in my youth, I never wanted cats. Only dogs.

My wife insisted on a cat. She loves cats.

One of the best things she changed in me. Our cats make us happier.

MoKelly

 

[civilian]

It was time to pick and brush the tiny burrs out of Brownies hair. It took longer than he liked.

View attachment 704470

So what is he or she? Cocker Spaniel? How old? Jon