?????? GROAN 2

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   / ?????? GROAN 2 #171  

Pixguy

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Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up
Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got
caught in a terrible blizzard.
So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who
answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge
house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid
the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn.
And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed,
and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an
attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally
determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he
had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember
that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up
North about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob.
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to
the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found
out. "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry,
buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?) Now keep that smile for the rest of the day !
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #172  

Pixguy

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Let's be proactive!


Replace all female flight attendants over 40 with good lookin' strippers.

The attendants have gotten old and haggard looking. They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would double, triple, perhaps quadruple the alcohol consumption and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin.

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. And, of course, every heterosexual businessman in this country would start flying again hoping to see naked women. Hijackings would become ancient history and the airline industry
would see record revenue.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?









Sincerely...

Bill Clinton
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #173  

czechsonofagun

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🤔
 

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   / ?????? GROAN 2 #176  

i7win7

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I think I detect a few RED flags here
BS.jpg
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #177  

k0ua

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Yeah, there could be a discontinuity between the bio and the photo...could be..:)
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2
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OP
Xfaxman

Xfaxman

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fruit flies.jpg
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #179  

Jim Shooz

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my ex called a phillips head a PLUS and

a regular screwdriver a MINUS
Don't laugh: My daughter worked for one of the large Japanese motor companies and was translating the manual for a model which was about to be assembled and sold here. The manual was written in Japanese. The translated instructions came out as 'use the negative screwdriver to....' She and the writing team spent the day trying to work out why you would need negative DC on a screwdriver to make it work.
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #180  

i7win7

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kubota bx2370, b2650, ford 4000
Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from time to time. One day he walked into Miss Sandy Smith's 4th grade class, where the children were studying American History. Mr. Jones asked the class how many states they could name.

They came up with about 40 names. Miss Sandy Smith came up with four more.

Not impressed, Mr Jones told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

From the back of the room Little Johnny yelled, "Yeah, but in those days there were only 13!"
 
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