?????? GROAN 2

[Yogi05]

I ran into a friend's kid the other day.
I said "How's university going? Are you enjoying Astrophysics?"
He says "I'm not studying Astrophysics..."
I said "Oh, your dad told me you were in university taking up space".

 

[Xfaxman]

 

[Xfaxman]

 

[Peace]

 

[Frankenkubota]

Was this you?
View attachment 709302

i don't like spiders and snakes.......

 

[Peace]

i don't like spiders and snakes.......

Easy now... just a reminder before it gets out of hand. It’s against the rules to talk politics.

 

[Peace]

 

[jerrybob]

A little boy gets on the public bus and sits right behind the bs driver. The boy keeps repeatedly saying," If my mom was a cow and my dad was a bull, I'd be a little calf. If my mom was a hen and my dad was a chicken, I'd be a little chick. If my mom was a deer and my dad was a buck, I'd be a little deer. If my mom was a duck and my dad was a goose, I'd be a little duckling." The bus annoyed bus driver stops the bus and turns to the boy saying, "What if your mom was a drunk and you dad was a bum?" The boy responds, "Then I'd be a bus driver."

 

[i7win7]

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

 

[i7win7]

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Bob and said, 'Do you think he'll jump?' Bob says, 'You know, I bet he'll jump.'
The blonde replied, 'Well, I bet he won't.' Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, 'You're on!'
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, 'Fair's fair. Here's your money.'
Bob replied, 'I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 6 PM news and so I knew he would jump.'
The blonde replied, 'I saw it too; but I didn't think he'd do it again.'
Bob took the money......