?????? GROAN 2

Pixguy · Aug 15, 2021

Ku Klux Klan

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression"

Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth, give me an Amen.

Pixguy · Aug 15, 2021

Adult conversations

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns

Pixguy · Aug 15, 2021

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams

tallyho8 · Aug 15, 2021

THE LOYAL WIFE!
There was a retired old man who had been in the Navy for over 30 years, had saved all of his money, and was a real penny pincher when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife.... "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
Well, he died.
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said.... "Wait just a minute."
She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.
Her friend said.... "I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied....
"Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
The friend exclaimed..... "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him?!" "I sure did" said the wife.... "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."