?????? GROAN 2
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i7win7
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A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: "Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person."
The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow asked: "Just look at you -- you have no legs!"
The old gent smiled: "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"
"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.
Again, the old man smiled: "Therefore, I can never beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: "Are you still good in bed?"
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow asked: "Just look at you -- you have no legs!"
The old gent smiled: "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"
"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.
Again, the old man smiled: "Therefore, I can never beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: "Are you still good in bed?"
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
i7win7
Veteran Member
More Power Plunger
A "Tim the Tool Man Taylor" design
A "Tim the Tool Man Taylor" design
i7win7
Veteran Member
A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."
The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."
The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."
The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."
dstig1
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I was listening to a patent attorney talk about the patent process a number of years back. He siad there are three things you need to show to get a patent. The first is utility. The "invention" must be useful for something. This is easy. You throw it in the lake - if it floats it is a buoy, if it sinks, it's an anchor...On to point #2...
Frankenkubota
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young italian american bride is scared to death as she has never been with a man before........
as is the tradition in this family, the wedding is in the home of the mil and the new couple spends their wedding nite at the home of the mil.
up the stairs go the newlyweds but very quickly the girl comes running down stairs with fear in her eyes. she says....
momma momma, Francesco took off his shirt and momma momma, he is so hairy and the big muscles....momma, i'm so afraid.
to that momma says....
Gabriella, It is normal and natural, Francesco is a wonderful man, now go to your new husband.
back down the stairs comes the girl, crying and again scared. she says....
momma momma, francesco took off his pants and momma, i've never seen a man like that and his legs are so big and muscles and hairy and i'm so afraid.
again...mom assure the daughter all is well and sends her back upstairs.
mom hears a scream and the daughter comes running downstairs yelling something...?
Poor francesco was in the army and had 1/2 of one of his feet blown off by a bomb. When he took his socks off it was very obvious that part of one of his feet was missing...gone. the young bride saw that and was screaming.....
momma momma, francesco gotta foot and a half!
momma bowed up a little, threw out her arms and said.....
this is a job for momma!
as is the tradition in this family, the wedding is in the home of the mil and the new couple spends their wedding nite at the home of the mil.
up the stairs go the newlyweds but very quickly the girl comes running down stairs with fear in her eyes. she says....
momma momma, Francesco took off his shirt and momma momma, he is so hairy and the big muscles....momma, i'm so afraid.
to that momma says....
Gabriella, It is normal and natural, Francesco is a wonderful man, now go to your new husband.
back down the stairs comes the girl, crying and again scared. she says....
momma momma, francesco took off his pants and momma, i've never seen a man like that and his legs are so big and muscles and hairy and i'm so afraid.
again...mom assure the daughter all is well and sends her back upstairs.
mom hears a scream and the daughter comes running downstairs yelling something...?
Poor francesco was in the army and had 1/2 of one of his feet blown off by a bomb. When he took his socks off it was very obvious that part of one of his feet was missing...gone. the young bride saw that and was screaming.....
momma momma, francesco gotta foot and a half!
momma bowed up a little, threw out her arms and said.....
this is a job for momma!
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