Groan 3; the Sequel

[Jstpssng]

My mother lives across from the cemetery, and it definitely is not a quiet place. People are always parking in front of her house at all hours of the night and going off to visit a grave, although at 10:00 PM we've always suspected they are doing something more nefarious.

 

[czechsonofagun]

 

[Pixguy]

A Baptist preacher sits next to a cowboy on a flight. After the plane takes off, the cowboy asks for a whiskey and soda, which is promptly brought and placed before him.


The flight attendant then asks the preacher if he would like a drink.


Appalled, the preacher replies, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips."


The cowboy then hands his drink back to the attendant and says, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

 

[Pixguy]

"The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time congress meets."


—Will Rogers





"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers."


—Demetri Martin

 

[Pixguy]

 

[sea2summit]

My mother lives across from the cemetery, and it definitely is not a quiet place. People are always parking in front of her house at all hours of the night and going off to visit a grave, although at 10:00 PM we've always suspected they are doing something more nefarious.

I tried to talk my grilfriends into some of those nefarious acts myself

 

[2LaneCruzer]

I tried to talk my grilfriends into some of those nefarious acts myself

I suspect "erotic" would be a more descriptive word. Those old vacant and unfenced 20 acre wooded lots near the city are all full of McMansions today.

 

[Jstpssng]

Considering that one vehicle will stop, somebody will get out and come back a few minutes later; then somebody else will do the same after the first leaves; there could be something else going on.

Not that I ever partied in that or another graveyard in my younger days, but at least we respected the grounds and didn't destroy property.

 

[czechsonofagun]

Ole and Lars who worked together were both laid off, so off they were to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Ole $300 a week unemployment pay.
Lars was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave him $600 a week.
When Ole finds out he is furious. He stormed back to find out why Lars, his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers were unskilled and diesel fitters were skilled labor." "What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on. He pulls on it and says, 'Yep, diesel fitter.'"

 

[czechsonofagun]