Groan 3; the Sequel

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[ning]

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I remember reading one of those "understanding the tax code" books that had a ton of examples of how these sorts of rules are used.
In general, they exist to be able to tack on more penalties when someone gets busted, but the converse ends up true as well - I remember reading one example where a druglord was able to deduct / depreciate speedboat etc as cost of doing business.
Obviously, that was to reduce the tax burden his estate had to pay, since he was in jail and accountants were having to figure out how to reduce the humungous tax bill he owed.

 

[Pixguy]

An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane and he turned to
him and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a
conversation with your fellow passenger."
The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total
stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no
Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
"Okay." he said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question
first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes
little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why
do you suppose that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the old cowboy's intelligence, thinks about it and
says, "Hmmm, I have no idea:
To which the cowboy replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven
and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know crap?"

 

[Pixguy]

 

[Pixguy]

 

[Pixguy]

 

[2LaneCruzer]

There was this doctor, see? And every afternoon at exactly 2 o’clock, he dashed down to the bar for one—just one—of his favorite drinks. This was an odd-ball concoction—a daiquiri with ground-up almonds in it.

It was approaching 2 o’clock this particular day when the bartender discovered to his dismay that he was out of almonds. He sent the waitress searching for almonds. But all she could find were hickory nuts.

So the doctor came in and the bartender made his drink. The doctor took one sip, puckered in disgust, and demanded, “What kind of drink is this ??!!”

The bartender paled and confessed:

“It’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.”

 

[Xfaxman]

 

[i7win7]